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Elayne Boosler

Elayne Boosler

Posted: February 21, 2007 08:43 PM

Yes. Hillary.


Would you hire this guy to fix your toilet?

"Hi. My name's Mike Smith and I'm not a plumber, but I want to fix your toilet. Not only am I not a plumber, I've never even been in a bathroom since I usually go camping. But I don't like the way these plumbers work, and I want to change that."

ANNOUNCER: "Mike Smith. Not a plumber. Paid for by the "Hire Mike Smith For All Your Plumbing Needs" committee."

When did it become an asset to NOT be an expert in your field? If you need a heart bypass, you want the doctor who does five a week, right? You want the lawyer who got the last guy off, you want the accountant who pushes the deductions to just this side of iffy, and we needn't even mention dentists. Yet in the last few years, what has the rallying cry in campaigns been?


"Vote for me. I'm not a Washington insider."


We like that because it means he's not one of "them". And we don't trust "them". Which lead David Geffen to say to Maureen Dowd:


"Obama is inspirational, and he's not from the Bush royal family or the Clinton royal family."


First, please tar the Bushes and the Clintons with different brushes. The new "gotcha" is that "royal family" talking point. The Bush royal family alludes to seventy generations of the Bush family war profiteering and destroying America and the world. Clinton had his allotted two terms, no thanks to congress. And yes, they treated him royally, just like Marie Antoinette, Louis XVI and Anne Boleyn.


When asked if Obama can stand up to "Clinton Inc", Geffen said further, "I hope so, because that machine is going to be very unpleasant and unattractive and effective."


Yes! Yes!! Because of the ugliness of who and what we are up against in Washington now, this is what we need to fight and win now; unpleasant, unattractive, and effective. The democratic voters have learned NOTHING in the last six years. We're still campaigning with flowers in our hair. We're still looking for inspiration and untarnished purity. We want to be better than they are. Wake up! It's a world of Dick Cheney and Karl Rove, liars and killers and plunderers and thieves. Inspirational? Do we have to lose again? Instead of co-opting the success and impenetrability of the most effective self-profiting criminal regime in United States history, we still, still, still want to come at it from an altruistic, romantic place. Well give me a plumber. Give me a shark. Give me a veteran. Obama later, Hillary now. We cannot build before we get someone in there to clear and hold. Inspirational? They're not going to waft up to you. We need someone who can go down there and drag them up by their combovers. I agree, Obama is inspirational, smart, good, approachable, likeable, seemingly gentle. Does a flower like that bloom in Washington? No. Bush will be gone, but the obstructionist, lying, pandering senators will still be there, entrenched and waiting to tear into his belly; Sessions, Hatch, Lott, Stevens..


Every negative word I hear spoken against Hillary sounds to me only like a positive; tough, old school, cold, an insider. Great!! Let those senators whom you and I know to be slimy cowards shiver at her approach. Let them be unsteady, not knowing how hard they can publicly attack while still making a show of that fake old school bullshit gentility towards women, whom every vote of theirs proves they hate. Hillary can take it all, she HAS taken it. They know that, and they want anyone but Hillary. They'll never be able to play their game against her. She's survived more than they ever could, with their untested jello backbones. They can't touch her. She scares them, the way all smart, capable women scare calcified cowards and bullies. There's nothing I'd like to see more than a brilliant, capable, experienced, intimidating, fearless humanist moving into the white house, and I don't care if she's likeable or warm, I have dogs for that. And as a bonus, how sweet it would be to see Bill Clinton walking back up those steps, smiling at the tiny bastards who so shamefully tried to destroy a man whose small personal lie did not kill over three thousand Americans and one million Iraqis.


You want Hillary to apologize for voting for the war first? You're helping the repulsicans cut our throats. Here is my theory on Hillary's war vote, based on nothing more than having too much time on my hands. I believe Hillary was against the war. I believe she voted for the war to prove she was presidential material. Isn't that ironic? I think she felt she had to vote for the war or when she ran they'd be saying; "A woman can't go to war when necessary". We see it as unforgivable because of so much death, but almost the whole damn government voted for the war, and no matter their doubts in starting, they could not know there was no plan after the first three weeks, when the real death began. The only negative now would be if she were still for it. Again, we are letting the Bush backwards-naming cabal (Clear Skies, Healthy Forests, etc. etc.) define our terms. It's not flip-flopping. It's growth. It's being aware, conscious and thoughtful. Speak out against the candidates who still think the war was/is a good idea. Don't do the repulsicans job for them.


I want the lawyer who knows where the bodies are buried, who has a relationship with the judge, who's been in that court before, who knows how to play the game. I want the other side to be afraid, very afraid. I want the plumber who knows the pipes. Why do we hate the professionals? Because in knowing so much about their fields, they also know where they can fleece us a little bit, how to overcharge us for the work without getting caught. A small price to pay. If you go for the neophyte, you get Dane Cook instead of Richard Pryor, American Idol instead of Leontyne Price, not worth the price of admission. Worse yet, you get the ultimate Washington outsider, George W. Bush.