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El-Farouk Khaki

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Eid: Being LGBT and Muslim

Posted: 11/07/2011 6:30 pm

Eid in Arabic means feast or festivity. Muslims celebrate two religious Eids: Eid ul-Fitri is the celebration at the end of Ramadan, the month of fasting. It is the more festive celebration after a month of abstinence and self-control; children receive money (Eidi) or presents and new clothes, so do some adults. Everyone will wear his or her finery.

The Eid that we are celebrating now is the more somber festival and has multiple names including Eid al-Adha or Eid e-Qurban (both meaning Festival of Sacrifice) and Eid ul-Hajj (Festival of Hajj).

It celebrates the end of the Hajj or the pilgrimage to Mecca during which Muslims around the world celebrate along with the almost 3 million pilgrims in Mecca.

The story of Eid ul-Adha is mostly narrated as the story of the miracle of God replacing Abraham's son with a ram at the moment of intended sacrifice by Abraham of his son Ismail. The miracle is celebrated with the sacrifice of an animal and the distribution of the meat to family, community and the poor. It is a grand tale of patriarchy and submission.

What is often glossed over or even forgotten is the role of an African woman in that story and its remembrance in one of the five pillars of Islamic practice, the Hajj.

The Kaaba or the black cube structure in Mecca was built by Abraham and his son Ismail. Many years earlier, Abraham had been commanded to leave Hagar and Ismail in the desert. When Hagar ran out of food and water, she ran in desperation and in search between the hills of Safa and Marwa. In answer to her prayers, the angel Gabriel opened the spring of Zamzam which continues to flow today. Its source is unknown. It is this spring that is the historical antecedent for the establishment of the city of Mecca. Today in Mecca on the last day of the Hajj, millions of Muslims, female and male, LGBT and straight, will run and walk in Hagar's footsteps as they have everyday over the last 1,400+ years.

It is Hagar's courage and determination and Ismail's certainty of faith as a young boy that God would not extol a sacrifice for the sake of a sacrifice, that I held to my heart as I did tawwaff (circumambulation) around the Kaaba with my parents, aunt, cousin and partner earlier this year as we performed the Umrah (lesser hajj), surrounded by women and men of all colors, ages, national and linguistic backgrounds, and all orientations and gender identities. As my partner Troy said to friends, "I was there praying with 700,000 people, and I was praying for peace, justice and for my queer and non-queer brothers and sisters around the world to find freedom and joy."

The story of Hagar is a story of a defiant, non-conformist outcast woman of colour who survived and excelled despite the odds to provide for herself and her child. In celebrating the courage of women in the face of oppression, marginalization and expendability, this Eid celebrates mothers and in particular, my relationship with my mother.

One of my earliest memories of Eid is of an Eid ul-Fitri when I was invited to go with kids from my street to visit their relatives. At all the homes we visited, my friends all got presents but I did not get even a shilling. When I got home, my mum saw I was sad and asked me what was wrong. I never could keep anything from her so I told her no one gave me "Eidi." I can't remember what she gave me, it might have been a five shilling coin, but it meant the world to me. It was from my mother. My constant. My protector. She made me feel loved. She made me smile.

A smile, the Prophet is reported to have said, can be a charity. Charity is always good, especially on Eid. It is a time to visit family, share food, pray together and embrace one another. But for many LGBT Muslims, Eid is a time of sadness, guilt and isolation when they must either hide their orientation, or face rejection, condemnation and isolation from family, faith and community.

I have been lucky in that I have not experienced the rejection from my family or the Muslims that I have been in community with. Islam is not a monolith and neither are Muslims.

And it is with freedom and joy that I celebrated Eid, knowing that I am privileged. On Friday, I attended jumu'ah (Friday congregational prayers) at Masjid el-Tawhid (Toronto Unity Mosque). Founded by myself, with Troy and dear friend Dr. Laury Silvers (founder of Progressiveislam.com), Toronto Unity Mosque has been holding Friday congregational services continuously since May 2009 that are gender-equal, LGBT inclusive, and religiously non-discriminatory. We now have two sister communities in DC and Atlanta and are hoping for more.

On Sunday morning, we joined our friends including other openly LGBT folk, "aunties," and "uncles" and many members of our extended family of choice at the Noor Cultural Centre where the Imam in his sermon included homophobia and transphobia in the list of oppressions that Muslims must reject and work against. His words may ruffle a few, but all embrace, smile and share samosas, cakes and tea after the service.

My mother and father are on the West Coast; my father is in the hospital with my mother by his bedside. I did not see them this Eid, but they are ever present in my heart. Troy and I spent Sunday at the mosque and with friends. On Monday, we will celebrate Eid again, this time with biryani and 60 Muslims and non-Muslim friends, both LGBT and straight, with love, laughter and acceptance, poetry and song. We will celebrate with gratitude, knowing that not everyone is able to celebrate as we are, and hope that for many, their best Eids are yet to come.

 
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06:04 PM on 11/09/2011
PART 4:

I forgot to mention that the Qur`anic passages I have quoted below are about men who engage in homosexual act.

They do not refer to lesbians.

Therefore, it would be a fair argument for one to make that the Qur`an is silent about the lesbian act.

Furthermore, in some of these passages, the Prophet Lot is clearly offering his daughters to the homosexual men of his time.

This offer by a Prophet of God can be interpreted in several ways.

So, may I ask the author of this blog how he would interpret the above?

Thanks again in advance.

There is no loss of respect for you on my part.
05:42 PM on 11/09/2011
PART 3:

Qur`an Chapter 26:

"160. Lot's folk rejected the emissaries when their brother Lot said to them:

"Will you not do your duty? I am a trustworthy messenger [sent] to you, so heed God and obey me.

I do not ask you any payment for it; my payment only concerns the Lord of the Universe.

Do you approach males among [everyone in] the Universe, and ignore any wives whom your Lord has created for you? Indeed you are such defiant folk!"

167. They said; "If you do not stop, Lot, you will become an exile." He said: "I am someone who detests your behavior. My Lord, save me and my family from what they are doing!"

170. So We saved him and his whole family except for an old woman among those who stayed behind. Then We annihilated the rest; We sent a rain down upon them. How evil was such a rain for those who had been warned!"

QUESTION TO THE AUTHOR: What, in your opinion, God is trying to convey?

I am merely interested in how the Muslim gays and lesbians read these Qur`anic passages.

Do they consider them still applicable? If not, then does this mean that they believe in the Qur`an applicable only for a certain time period? If so, when did the Qur`an become non-applicable?
05:36 PM on 11/09/2011
PART 2:

Qur`an Chapter 11:

"77. When Our messengers came to Lot, he was uneasy concerning them and felt helpless about warding off anything they might do, He said: "This is a critical day!"

His people came hurrying up to him; while just before they had been performing such EVIL deeds!

He said: "My people, these are my daughters; they are purer for you.

Heed God and do not shame me through my guests. Is there not a normal man among you?" They said: "You know we have no right to your daughters.

You know what we want!" He said: "If only I had some power over you or could seek safety at some firm support!"

"81. They said: "Lot, we are your Lord's messengers. They will not overtake you, so travel with your family during part of the night and do not let anyone of you turn around except for your wife.

Her fate is what will strike them [too]. Their appointment will be in the morning. Is not morning near?"'

82. When Our command came along, We turned them upside down and rained stones on them from tablets which had been sorted out, stamped by your Lord. They never lie far from wrongdoers! "
05:27 PM on 11/09/2011
The Qur`an states this in chapter 7:

"80. And there was Lot when he told his people: "Do you indulge in a sexual practice such as no one in the Universe has ever indulged in previously? You approach men lustfully instead of women! Rather you are dissipated folk."

82. His people's answer was merely to say: "Run them out of your town: they are persons who are trying to keep pure." We saved him and his family except for his wife; she was one of those who lagged behind. We sent a rain down on them: look how the outcome was for such criminals!"

I wonder what the author of this article makes of the above passage from the book which he, supposedly, considers to be the Word of God, in which He clearly states: "Rather you are dissipated folk!"

This is not meant as an insult to anyone. I highly respect gays and lesbians. They are fine human beings.

However, to claim that one is a Muslim implies that one accepts and does his/her best to follow the ENTIRE Qur`an as the Word of God.

I am posting this merely to solicit a response from the author.

Thanks in advance.
09:40 AM on 11/13/2011
I'm not the author, but classically, Muslims who believe that homosexuality is permitted have interpreted the history of Lot as the history of men who were in such a mindset that even though they were heterosexuals and had wives God had created for them they chose to rape men and angles out of lust (as opposed to homosexual love).
In the Quran at least it is clear that the verses talk about lust (which is sinful whether you're heterosexual or homosexual).
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
demcratville
Science makes you think.
08:47 PM on 11/08/2011
Secular is the way to go http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=5HJLKOhaBfI#at=56
03:06 PM on 11/08/2011
very well said. Thank you. Eid mubarak.
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12:40 PM on 11/08/2011
I applaud the author for his courage in incorporating modern values into the practice of his religion.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
mjcc1987
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
11:58 AM on 11/08/2011
Being LGBT and Muslim: Answer: Dead

If christians controlled countries similar to the past, the answer would be dead.

Religion is the probelm.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Abdul-Halim Vazquez
11:55 AM on 11/08/2011
Eid Mubarak!
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sdterp
Queer, Vegetarian Atheist -- Livin' Large
11:33 AM on 11/08/2011
As a non Muslim Queer man I can't tell you how much I appreciate your contribution of this article. In my experience Queer Muslims are an invisible community. I only know 1 person who is a non-practicing Muslim and a few online acquaintances who identify as bisexual (though they only seem to pursue other men). I long to know more about this part of my own Queer brothers & sisters that seems hidden from me.

Thank you again for sharing this piece.
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FormerlyTCnSRQ
A Man On The Run..... No Escape Ahead
11:29 AM on 11/08/2011
I think your road is a difficult and long one. The homophobia in such strictly interpreted religions (including the Christian right) does more to promote fear of differences than to embrace them and encourage them.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
WesStrikesBack
A winegrowing secular humanist
11:26 AM on 11/08/2011
I would like some honest commentary on how sequestering Muslim boys in their pubescent years leads to early homosexual experiences for Muslim males, and how those experiences influence attitudes toward LGBT issues.

I suspect this issue is as prevalent and destructive as abusive Catholic priests, but has been poorly documented due to stigma, embarrassment and cultural bias.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
WesStrikesBack
A winegrowing secular humanist
02:50 PM on 11/15/2011
**crickets**
11:09 AM on 11/08/2011
I used to blog for the Houston Chronicle. The most poisonous and negative attacks I ever received were from Muslims on a blog I wrote about embracing the LGBT Muslim community. Good luck, butI beleive we are generations away.
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MyNameIsKarsten
...sounds like Chewbacca when he yawns.
08:38 AM on 11/08/2011
Very interesting and informative read. It's not whiny articles about Islamophobia that win hearts and minds -- it is articles such as yours. Thank you for your courage, good luck with your Masjid el-Tawhid, and Eid Mubarak!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
sandalwood
songs of the shamans...
11:35 AM on 11/08/2011
Totally agreed.
06:50 AM on 11/08/2011
I love how you described Hagar as an African woman of color who excelled despite her circumstance- learning this story in orthodox Islamic environments has never included these factors!
It is also my hope and dua that our community becomes accepting of our internal diversity. There has always been LGBTQ Muslims and I admire those who come out in environments that can be hostile.
Eid Kareem to all!