Are you happy about the money you made last year?
If the answer is no, and you are a woman... read on. Trust me sister, if you aren't thrilled
with the digits in your bank account you are not alone. The reason that women aren't
getting more money is so simple and easy to correct that it might make you scream.
That doesn't make it any easier.
Go Find The Culprit
I you don't like how much money you are making stop reading this article right now.
Go and look at yourself in the mirror.
Gaze deeply into your eyes and say, "The reason I didn't get what I wanted is because I
didn't ask."
It is fascinating that even the most accomplished women are hesitant to ask for what
they want. (Could that be you... it's OK we are in this together.) Many women find the
arena of asking a scary one. They are afraid that they will appear as aggressive if they ask
for what they want. So, they avoid asking. Women are trained that being liked is more
important than being successful. Part of this is due to our evolutionary pull to put our
own well being second to our children's needs. Asking for what we want feels counter
intuitive. The result that following our feeling in this arena are devastating.
The 32% Woman Discount
Our bank accounts, businesses and relationships pay the price. Women that don't ask for
the salary stands to lose more than $500,000 by age 60. (Men are more than four times
as likely as women to negotiate their first salary.) In the current economic climate many
women are so grateful to be offered a job that they accept what they are offered and don't
negotiate their salaries. She reported that women's salary expectations between 3 and 32
percent lower than those of men for the same job. Hold up. Think about that for a minute.
The woman in the equation thinks that the value of her work is 32% lower than the man
doing the same job.
Women Business Owners Get The Crumbs
Professor Babcock's research confirmed what my experience working with women
entrepreneurs. Lesa Mitchell has a superb column about the glass walls that are hindering women business owners.
Here is a statistic that is so shocking to me that it is hard to type.
Women own about 40 percent of all businesses in the U.S. They receive only 2.3 percent
of the available equity capital needed for growth. Male-owned companies receive the
other 97.7 percent.
Women's business guru, Ali Brown,seems to be on a mission to change that statistic. Her article, "Are Women Less Tolerant of the Bullshit That Comes With Success" is a battle cry for women to empower themselves and get their business going.
She has a great deal to say to women about speaking up. So, I invited to share her thoughts in my next column.
See It To Be It
I am not the only expert seeing this phenomena. Linda Babcock, an economics professor
at Carnegie Mellon University taught negotiations and dispute resolution for years.
She wondered why women weren't achieving the same results as men. Then she had an
epiphany. "It kind of hit me over the head," said Ms. Babcock, who went on to research
why women were much less likely to initiate negotiations. That research ultimately led to
her widely praised 2003 book, Women Don't Ask: Negotiation and the Gender Divide.
Are you all riled up? Good.
Go Find The Change Agent
Go back and look at yourself in the mirror. Gaze into your eyes and say, "I can turn this
around this around. I'm going ask for what I want at least once this week. "
This could be very new territory for you. To help get you started here are some of my
inner marketing strategies to put to the test.
Set Yourself Up To Win
The answer is no if you don't ask...at the right time. Set up an appointment to talk before
you ask them for what you want. They will be more receptive, and more likely to say yes.
Men's Magic Three + Three
Men love it when you ask for what you want. Most women don't know how to ask. Be
direct and give them your exact request. Include where, when, what. Leave out the why. It clouds your request. A great guy wants to help you; save you
trouble and be your hero. Use the words help, save or hero and he will be even more
likely to say yes.
Play It To Say It
If you are asking for a big raise, write a script and rehearse. Use a flip camera to record
your request to see how you come off. Rehearse it until you are comfortable.
What is something you have been avoiding asking for?
How have you overcome your fear of asking?
What advice would you give other women who are scared to speak up?
Ask Eli your question about growing your business here. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Eli-Davidson/259885085120?ref=ts.
em>You can receive an email notice when Eli's blogs are published by clicking "Fan" at the top of this page. Ask Eli a question at info@elidavidson.com. Go to www.elidavidson.com. Get your free report, How To Get Where You Want To Go Faster.
Eli Davidson is a nationally recognized motivational speaker and executive coach. Her book, "Funky to Fabulous: Surefire Success Stories for the Savvy, Sassy and Swamped" (Oak Grove Publishing) has won three national book awards. Check out her blog at funkytofabulous.blogspot.com.
Follow Eli Davidson on Twitter: www.twitter.com/elidavidsonf2f
Cynthia Good, the founder of this amazing organization put on a great program here in LA and will be doing them in NYC and Atlanta.
littlePINKbook is committed to helping women make their voices heard.
Here are some statistics if you forget how powerful we are.
A record number of women now lead top companies in America and millions more (15.6 million) have started businesses of their own - at a rate twice that of men. Women are excelling in other fields, too: from medicine to education, philanthropy, politics and the arts. Women now wield trillions of dollars and account for more than 80 percent of all consumer spending.
Thanks for another great article.
It is fascinating how women have such unique issues around money from men. I love how you put it so simply... Just Ask! So true.
The biggest thing which stands between a woman and her money is her self worth. I became a certified Money Breakthrough Method coach because this subject fascinated me, and of course I had my own stuff I wanted to breakthrough. The tag line to the Money Breakthrough Method is: Increase your self worth and your net worth. The two really are interconnected.
The more we align with our own feelings of value and self worth, and create a joyful relationship with money, the more it will show up. It's not money that creates joy in our lives, it's a joyful relationship with money that creates the flow of money in our lives.
Women are nurturers. I believe it also really helps when a woman sees the flow of money into her life as a direct mirror of how many people she is touching and making a difference to. By making this simple mind shift, the numbers in the bank account can shift right along with it.
much love
Taylore
http://www.SensualSage.com
How Women Can Master the Hidden Agendas That Determine Bargaining Success
by Deb and Judith Williams looks like a book EVERY woman should buy and study.
I so deeply appreciate your adding all these great resources. Please tell me more about
GirlsCEOConnect.
It sounds fascinating,
Eli Davidson
I am going to challenge other women small business owners to speak up! Stop by
my FB page and ask a question on how to grow your business
Ask Eli
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Eli-Davidson/259885085120?ref=ts
I am looking forward to connecting with you!
What is your view?
It would be terrific if you tell us more!
I am so glad to see you share your perspective here!
You have come through so much. What is a tool that help you escape from such difficult circumstances?
Thank you for sharing that the man who had fewer credentials than you got paid 20-25% more than you did. Do you hear that ladies????
"He had the HIM Factor." What a great phrase that says it all. No wonder so many authors come to you to get writing coaching!
As a womens business coach, my private clients frequently double their incomes (even in this economy) as a result of the systems they get in our working together. It is fascinating to see how much change can be generated in a short period of time. I hope that women start speaking up...now!
I hope you continue to share your sage wisdom!
Eli
Would you check back in and tell us how it is going this time next week? That would be grand!!!