Strong weather usually moves from Florida up the East Coast. But in this case, the winds of change are going in the other direction.
Call it the Massachusetts Miracle: A grassroots organization founded and run by a man who owns a printing and copy store, Stephen Hitner of Mass Alimony Reform, was the driving force behind the state's radical overhaul of its antiquated alimony laws.
Since Gov. Deval Patrick signed the new law in September -- endorsed by the major Bar Associations and with unanimous votes in the legislature -- citizens' groups in two other states, Florida and New Jersey, are attempting to follow in Massachusetts' footsteps.
Their objectives: to bring alimony laws into the 21st century, and wrest it from the 1950s, when Fathers Knew Best and Moms were the stay-at-home variety; when men were breadwinners and most women couldn't work if they wanted to. The organizations point to the myriad injustices of permanent alimony and the unintended consequences. Instead of allowing people to end a failed relationship, the antiquated laws in their states force them to become permanent adversaries, returning to divorce court whenever circumstances change. They endure a lifetime of legal fees and divorce that never ends.
Even in this miserable economy, when payers in New Jersey and Florida go back to court after businesses have failed or they've lost their jobs, judges often deny them relief. Some have been known to say: "You should have been saving money to pay your alimony in case you lost your job." Never mind that the law permits adjustments when drastic change occurs.
In the Sunshine State, where permanent alimony is so common it is sometimes awarded to healthy women in their 30s and 40s, Florida Alimony Reform is celebrating the recent introduction of identical bills in the Senate and House (SB 748/HB 549) that are similar to the Massachusetts laws. Says House sponsor, Rep. Ritch Workman, "Florida's permanent alimony laws are relics from another century." He supports helping the lower-earning spouse for a transition period, but notes that, "Too often, lifetime alimony brings payers to bankruptcy, insolvency, and foreclosure."
His bill, sponsored in the Senate by Miami-Dade Sen. Miguel Diaz de la Portilla, limits alimony amounts and duration; changes standards for proving cohabitation, to ease the burden of alimony payers permanently supporting ex-wives and their live-in boyfriends; keeps the income and assets of new wives off the table when parties return to court to modify; and gives current payers the right to renegotiate alimony based on the new law -- an important feature of the Massachusetts law that ensures everyone is treated equally under the law. When some features of Florida's alimony laws were revised last year, those currently paying were specifically forbidden from revising their judgments, thus creating different laws for people in identical situations.
New Jersey Alimony Reform is newly established and still collecting "horror stories" to convince legislators and the press that there is a real problem that needs fixing. President and Co-founder Tom Leustek provided a group of stories that sounds frighteningly like examples from Massachusetts and Florida (available on MAR's and FAR's websites in the "Horror Stories" tabs):
For many years, Stephen Hitner carried around a booklet of Massachusetts horror stories to show disbelieving legislators and reporters; they read a lot like these stories from New Jersey. The stories from Florida bear striking resemblances to them too. There is a small group of other states in the country where permanent alimony is routinely awarded. Most often, divorcing couples don't know the law until they find themselves in court.
CItizens in Florida and New Jersey -- and Massachusetts, until the new law fully takes effect in March 2012 -- deserve better than this. Way better. What happens in family court in these states is a national disgrace. But the Massachusetts Miracle has put wind in everyone's sails. The good weather might just be moving from North to South this time.
Elizabeth Benedict wrote the Boston Globe op-ed that ignited the Massachsusetts alimony reform movement, in June 2008, and writes frequently on family law. She is the author of many books, including the bestselling novel Almost, and editor of Mentors, Muses & Monsters: 30 Writers on the People Who Changed Their Lives.
Take a look, and leave a comment at the Sentinel: http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/opinion/views/os-scott-maxwell-divorce-alimony-112011-20111119,0,2195586.column#tugs_story_display
If you remained at home to care for the children, did you intend to be idle for the remainder of your days after they had grown? At 40 years old was a stay at home mom. I was insufficiently educated, but when my husband suddenly passed, I found a way to survive. Those receiving alimony can at least prepare to make a future for themselves. Alimony is not only necessary to survive, but it is also a means of educational advancement. I am STILL paying for my education costs. I am sympathetic, but not understanding.
When you divorce, you are looking to free yourself from the person with whom you had resided with for the past - how many years-. AlimonyFOREVER- you are never going to let go. I have to ask, where is your pride?
CIRCUMSTANCE. That is the key. Then reform the judgement of alimony to be fair and allow both parities to life out their lives without the other breathing down their backs.
State of New Jersey.
Not only do spouses who pay "lifetime" alimony suffer, but their
families, second spouses, significant others and many others likewise
are affected.There is a trickle-down effect that affects the whole society and
economy necessitating a realization by the legislators that it is time
for a change.
Alimony is a concept enshrined in ancient law,that has remained
remarkably constant. Now, the idea that a husband should continue to
support his wife forever, even after the demise of their marriage-long a
bedrock of divorce law-is being called into question. Pressures are
mounting to change a practice that some see as outdated and unfair.
There is a pressing need to end the continuing financial marriage that
survives and lives long after the dissolution of marriage that
terminated the relationship of the spouses.
Could you please join NJ Alimony Reform by logging onto njalimonyreform.org? We would like to have your story for our cause.
Sincerely yours,
Tom Leustek
Celebrity deadbeats make headlines but there is no evidence to support the claim that draconian methods result in better collections. The social science on this is quite clear. The most significant factor in child support collection is the employment of the obliger. Instead of spending tax dollars chasing poor, unemployed fathers; everyone would benefit if we instead we educated parents and created jobs.
Freya L Sonenstien and Charles A. Calhoun, "Survey of Absent Parents" (SOAP), 1990.
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1465-7287.1990.tb00583.x/abstract
people for a failed marraige, seemingly a lifetime sentence. Many criminals are treated better than this in this country. Ive had attorneys tell me I did this to myself? But they create the rules and then impose them on unsuspecting citizens when they simply want to divorce and continue with their lives.
Its like the family courts are determined to destroy lives over a simple divorce, and this affects the children greatly as well.
I am a disable vet...health is declining fast and I have to continue to work regardless in order to pay what the judge determined was "Fair" My Ex...goes on more travel, more face lifts and new cars than I can count. Please continue to investigate this issue.
Thanks
Tom Leustek, President and Co-founder of NJ Alimony Reform
That said you're making an excellent point. Anyone who gets married in a state with lifetime alimony is taking a huge risk. I wouldn't do it.