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"They Are Who We Thought They Were."

11/09/2011 04:56 pm ET | Updated Jan 09, 2012

Eagles v. Bears, Monday, November 7, 2011

"They are who we thought they were." Not the Bears, of course. I didn't have a strong opinion of the Bears prior to last night, other than:

"Matt Forte or LeSean McCoy - who's harder to stop?"

and

"Brian Urlacher is a really good linebacker. I wonder what it's like to have a really good linebacker? That must be nice."

No, I'm talking about the Eagles.

I quote Tommy Lawlor: "There is something off with this team."

Stud of the Week: I was going to go with Brent Celek for a little variety. Then Shady tied Steve van Buren's record for consecutive games with a touchdown. So once again, Shady wins Stud of the Week. He's my secret runningback boyfriend.

And there were some other high points. Other than the bone-headed play of not getting out of bounds at the end of the half, Brent Celek had a great game. And special teams did a great job preventing ANY big returns from Devin Hester. Which is REALLY REALLY hard.

But it wasn't enough.

The Eagles had the same old problem: an inability to play a complete game in all three phases for four quarters.

The defense was able to shut down Matt Forte, for two quarters.

The offense had a real spark, for two quarters.

And then...turnovers.

Mike Vick's pick in the red zone was bad. DeSean Jackson's punt fumble inside the ten was worse.

And then...dumb penalties.

The roughing the passer call that Jason Babin drew? Possibly a bad call, understandable, but it gave the Bears 4 points. The Nnamdi Asomugha pass interference call? One could argue that it just delayed the TD, since if he hadn't interfered, Johnny Knox only had daylight ahead of him, but aren't the Eagles paying him big bucks NOT to get beat one on one?

...

Yeah, the much vaunted defensive secondary pretty much made Jay "Pick" Culter look like Peyton Manning.

Oh, and DeSean? Celebrating after your ONE catch that led to a first down? That's not the way to earn yourself a fat contract, in Philly or anywhere else.

Once again, the Eagles got down early, pulled ahead, and then gave up 13 unanswered points to lose the game. The only variable in that equation? The fact that it was 13 points.

The thing is, I knew the Eagles were dead when punter Chas Henry couldn't hit a wide open Colt Anderson on the fake punt. My 8 year old niece has a bigger cannon than that. Right call - ATROCIOUS execution.

It's still mathematically possible for the Birds to make the playoffs, but they're basically going to have to win ALL their remaining games. Hear that sound? It's hope dying.

So we can all watch the rest of the games like Redskins fans, for entertainment value only.

After all that, though, the most horrifying image of the evening, the one that's seared into my brain until the day I die, is Big Red in shorts with Gruden during the Monday Night Countdown coach's interview.

Speaking of, are Gruden and Lance Briggs dating? I do not know, but there are unconfirmed reports that Chuckie left a mash note in Briggs' locker.

Around the rest of the NFL...I got KILLED in my picks. Wanna see the carnage? Check out Snarkin' the NFL. And feel free to mock.