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Elizabeth Tannen

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Memo to Single Men: Man Up or Shut Up

Posted: 11/30/2011 9:53 pm

A few weeks ago, I got a random Facebook message from an attractive man I know. I was excited for approximately three seconds before feeling, instead, furious.

Would I go out with this man if he asked me? Yes. Would I go out of my way to ask him out? No. (I'm hibernating, remember?) Do I have time to exchange trivial, mildly amusing flirtations on Facebook? No. Will I do it anyway? Of course.

Hence, the fury: I do not have the time, these days, to indulge such ambiguously flirtations banter: banter that may or may not lead anywhere. (Besides, of course, more mildly amusing, ambiguously flirtatious banter.)

And yet, I cannot help myself. Who, after all, doesn't enjoy flirting? (Many people, I've heard. Many people who have about as much in common with me as that land-walking octopus in the epically boring Youtube video my brother made me watch. Can we agree, not only that the video is unwatchable, but that the thing looks startlingly like a hippo?)

Flirting is fun. Once, I actually caught myself flirting with my cousin. (In my defense: he's my second cousin, or first cousin once removed -- does anyone know the difference? And, obviously, I would never do anything about it.)

And that's just the thing: when you're flirting with your cousin, you don't expect it to lead anywhere. You're just doing it because both of you are flirtatious and drinking martinis and the only other people available to talk to are over eighty and can't hear very well.

But when it's someone with whom there might actually be potential -- when both parties are young and attractive and single, and not, so far as anyone knows, related by blood -- I get annoyed pretty quick. If you intend to ask me out, please: go for it. Man up. But if you're not? Just leave me alone. Stop sending me messages and go look at your ex's vacation photos. In other words: man up, or shut up.

This syndrome comes in varying degrees.

On the extreme end: a friend of mine once had a highly romantic tryst in an obscure Eastern European country, where she was vacationing for a weekend. The guy she was with told her he wanted to have her babies. She started crying.

"Elizabeth!" she moaned to me over Skype. "You just cannot say something like that to a 31-year old woman! I am in the prime of my fertility!"

In other words: of course she wants children. Of course she would want this man, potentially, to be a partner to have them with. But under those circumstances, it clearly wasn't going to happen. She knew he had no intention of following through with those words. How could he say something like that without sincerity? We are fragile creatures! The emotional turbulence simply wasn't worth the flattery.

Less extreme: a guy I've known for a while, a guy who habitually treats women like shit, and to whom, of course, I have long been attracted, recently, drunkenly, felt inclined to profess all the reasons that he and I cannot be together in spite of our (apparently, mutual) attraction.

Same thing: flattered for about a minute before pure anger set in. Why say this to me? What is the point of setting me off on a tear of neurotic emotional confusion? You think I'm hot? Great: let's try and date. You can't handle dating me, for whatever reason? Fine. Keep it to yourself.

Man up, fellas, or just keep your mouths shut.

 

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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Zweiback
08:07 PM on 12/05/2011
If you want a dating tip, Miss Tannen, here's one: Guys don't like yammering broads.
wsdave
Abusive or Insulting? I won't be responding.
07:44 PM on 12/05/2011
"How could he say something like that without sincerity? We are fragile creatures! The emotional turbulence simply wasn't worth the flattery."

I hate to break it to you, Elizabeth, but men are fragile, too.

We don't like rejection anymore than you like flirting that goes nowhere, so where does this leave things?

Well, mostly that men need to understand that rejection is NEVER personal. He's offering apples, she's seeking oranges. There is nothing wrong with his apples, and there is nothing wrong with her seeking oranges. This is simply not a match. There are other fish in the sea.

I have the extreme advantage of being in a non-monogamous marriage to a wonderful woman, so my self-esteem and confidence get a boost every single day. It gives me the rock-solid confidence to "man-up" at in every opportunity (not just dating, but EVERY interaction). I've already been accepted by the woman I love the most, so rejection by someone else means nothing to me.

I'm offering apples, and they're looking for oranges. Or just different apples. Not a big deal.

So you want us to man up?

OK.

Will you go out with me?
02:29 AM on 12/21/2011
Let us know if she practices what she preaches
wsdave
Abusive or Insulting? I won't be responding.
04:06 AM on 12/21/2011
Haven't heard back yet.
02:10 PM on 12/05/2011
This reminds me of a recent date I had. We went, had a good time, he said he wanted to do it again. Then I get weekly texts for the last 4 weeks saying "hi, how are you" and "we should have drinks soon"...but no plans are made. I'm frustrated, I do think men are lax in the courting department these days. Maybe they just have too many options.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Elizabeth Tannen
05:26 PM on 12/05/2011
I think you might be right...we do seem to outnumber our male counterparts these days, and I do think that the ease of communicating through text, Facebook, etc. allows all of us to try a little less. Sorry about that guy, but if its any comfort: sounds extremely familiar!
wsdave
Abusive or Insulting? I won't be responding.
07:45 PM on 12/05/2011
"Maybe they just have too many options."

Men THINK they have options. They don't. They just don't know any better.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Cassandra45
"Let us do our best, even if it gets us nowhere."
01:27 PM on 12/04/2011
I think the word "drunkenly" tells the whole story. Not that it's not annoying, but consider the source.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
wfhbear
No Political Party and NO Religion
03:45 PM on 12/03/2011
Hello Elizabeth,

I think I understand your entry now. You are a person who does not understand male emotional misgivings or those who tend to be romantics. You want direct, hard nosed reality. Out to dinner and then home to bed. That is OK. there are a lot of guys who feel the same way or would like to forget dinner.

Then there are those males who are uncomfortable with directness and need to warm up through a feeling of companionship first. There are also fellows who enjoy being romantic for a while or just want to get to know the person they may date. Finally there are the blabbermouths. These guys are either nervous or just can't control what comes out of their mouths. Not everyone can be cold and direct which has the tendency to scare the stuffing out of a lot of guys when it comes to the opposite sex.

Just like women, men come in all capacities of strengths and weaknesses. I happen to know a couple ladies who would have a stroke if they were asked out right to go on a date after meeting or without enough time to "get comfortable" with the person.

It is all the perspections of those involved on both sides. Maybe placing a sign on you that announces you wants would help. That way those of us who like to take time and "warm up" to a new relationship would know to find someone else.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Elizabeth Tannen
04:43 PM on 12/03/2011
Hi there. Thanks for your thoughts. It's not that I'm opposed to "warming up" to a person, getting to know them before we jump right into things. It's just that I get up with men who ONLY seem interested in trivial, inconsequential banter: who seem to be doing it for their own amusement, for the sake of the banter itself, rather than out of any serious intentions. I'm happy to spend time getting to know someone, so long as it seems to be progressing somewhere...it doesn't have to happen right away, but I'd like for there to be indications that we're headed in that direction! Hope that makes sense!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
wfhbear
No Political Party and NO Religion
10:01 PM on 12/03/2011
Elizabeth,

I appreciate it that you responded to my comments. What do I know? Hah! I've been married to the same woman for 41 years. We were introduced as a joke. Our mutual friends thought we were so different that the sparks would fly when we met. They did and still do. :-)
My Regards,
Bill
Randybostonterrier
Calling Republicans down on their BS
08:54 AM on 12/04/2011
You mean wasting your time. Men like that are a dime a dozen unfortunately. I feel sorry for young women who have the difficult task of sifting out the bullsh*t.
08:03 PM on 12/02/2011
Yet another modern women stuck in the mindset of a teenage girl. The first question she should ask herself is why doesn't she just ask the guy out so he does not have to continue flirting. She is frustrated because she feels entitled to men risking rejection by asking her. She likes bad boys which means she is still in the immature thrill seeking phase. Perhaps girls like her will realize that guy who treats girl's like crap do so in large part because girl's like her enable them.

We really need to stop taking these little girls seriously. Advice from actual grown women would be refreshing.
08:16 AM on 12/03/2011
"Advice from actual grown women would be refreshing­.”

No you reject that as well.

Face it, ed, the only thing you want to hear from anyone is "you're right, ed."
06:03 PM on 12/04/2011
I seek truth not approval. Adults not consumed in the excuse driven culture of victim hood or decrying a lack of liberty because their vices lack public approval are not the kind of grown people I am talking about. I think we are better than this, I remember a time when 'grown ups' had higher expectations.
05:34 PM on 12/02/2011
This should have started "Dear Diary..."
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knowcomment
You keep using that word...
05:34 PM on 12/02/2011
Elizabeth, your story remind me of this one:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/yashar-hedayat/men-who-emaintain-women-t_b_1016496.html
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Elizabeth Tannen
01:55 PM on 12/03/2011
Super interesting! Thanks for sharing.
01:16 PM on 12/02/2011
Do you think you might just be a lesbian manhater? Just a thought.
Randybostonterrier
Calling Republicans down on their BS
08:57 AM on 12/04/2011
She doesn't like liars, I think she has a very grown up woman mindset she doesn't want the game playing. I see nothing wrong with that, sounds very mature to me.
12:26 PM on 12/04/2011
True, but just like a man that get's dumped or falls out of love I think you have to stay in the game. Just because one didn't work, you cannot shy away from every potential partner out there. It can work it just takes time and a lot of games sometimes.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Nopinky
06:58 PM on 12/04/2011
That's an interesting reaction to an article asking men to act like men and not figuratively blow spitballs at us from the back of the room. I'm guessing you carry a straw and paper around in your back pocket so you can keep complaining about how it's all women's fault you can't get anywhere.
02:09 PM on 12/06/2011
"asking men to act like men" is as bad as saying "women should act like women and make me a sandwich."

It's astonishing to me how so many women commenting think they want equal rights, but are happy reinforcing the traditional male archetypes when it seems to suit them. They call this hypocrisy.
12:49 PM on 12/02/2011
I found this amusing at first but now I am extremely angry.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Elizabeth Tannen
01:53 PM on 12/03/2011
Excellent response.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
abliss2379
11:13 AM on 12/02/2011
And do not extend an invitation for dinner/drinks/even coffee, for cryin' out loud, just to say something, don't do it unless you re prepared to follow through.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Suntio
Amat victoria curam.
07:40 AM on 12/02/2011
We have the men we deserve. We birth them, raise them, date them, marry them without asking for much in return.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Andres64
Religion is a sectually transmitted disease.
04:53 PM on 12/02/2011
Nice attitude.
Randybostonterrier
Calling Republicans down on their BS
08:58 AM on 12/04/2011
The problem is that mommy worships them and then in turn same male thinks all women are around to be manipulated like mommy.
09:00 PM on 12/01/2011
Mmm, I know the feeling, but I don't recommend indulging it. Allowing yourself to be impatient with the process will so often net a less-than-desirable result. But if you are always window shopping, so to speak -- just seeing what's around and trying it on for size -- you are much more likely to find the best possible fit. Whether we are talking about clothes or men, the process is the same.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
newscott
07:32 PM on 12/01/2011
You need to find better men friends.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Elizabeth Tannen
01:44 PM on 12/12/2011
Actually, I have some awesome man friends. They aren't who I'm talking about here...