LA News Anchors I'd Like to See

Why can't a city with so much hometown talent find any to deliver its news? Even the Valley's porn industry gets more respect than LA's journalists, and for good reason. From Elita Loresca, a meteorologist who should be a cautionary tale for any diminutive woman considering double F implants, to Chuck Henry, who cried on camera when a wildfire got too close to his news van, to John Cadiz Klemack, whose name alone makes me want to punch a stranger in the face, we're home to the most embarrassing local news teams since Ron Burgundy and Veronica Corningstone. We're the second-largest news market in the country -- why are we starting our workdays with cracked-out sorority girls and rapey-eyed sports anchors?

I have a fix. LA boasts thousands of actors in between gigs, reality show fame-whores and celebrity screw-ups, many of whom would make wonderful additions to our newsrooms! To that end, I present my fantasy news team:

The Anchor With Gravitas:

Daniel Day-Lewis. Intense, brilliant and eminently watchable, he'd add dignity to our nightly shame-fest. Okay, he's hardly an out-of-work actor, but he is notoriously picky about his roles -- on average, he does one movie every three years. He's clearly bored out of his mind -- he spent an entire summer working as a cobbler, for God's sake -- and no doubt dying for an excuse to get away from his wife, writer/director Rebecca Miller, who I imagine wanders around the house all day speaking in the same pretentious voiceover she employed throughout Personal Velocity.

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Follow Ellen Rapoport on Twitter: www.twitter.com/ellenrapoport