Ever have to stifle laughter around your kid because you know you shouldn't be cracking up over something they've done but it's beyond funny? That's what happened the other day when Sabrina came home with a pamphlet her class had put together.
Her teacher had written out the beginning parts of well-known sayings, and left the endings blank for kids to fill in. I was thrilled to see the ones Sabrina had gotten right, but I was even more thrilled by the ones she didn't get right, starting with "You can pick your friends but you can't pick your nose."
BWAHHHHHHH HA HA HA HA HA!
I didn't want to mortify Sabrina or blow my teeth out from repressing the laughter bubbling up inside, so I put the pamphlet aside, and then I read it to Dave after the kids were asleep and we cackled. Some Sabrina faves:
Better to be safe than a tiger.
Children should be seen and not in the night.
Look before you walk on water.
A picture is worth a thousand dollars.
Too many cooks spoil the whole table.
Other kids were similarly amusing:
Too many cooks spoil the orange juice.
An apple a day will make you throw up.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him tap dance.
No use crying over spilt ice-cream
No use crying over spilt soup.
The grass is always greener on the golf course.
Good news travels on TV.
An apple a day keeps the teachers away.
If at first you don't succeed you get consequences.
Children should be seen and not at school.
Better to be safe than a frog.
The phrase that consistently stumped every single kid: "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush." (Really not the most catchy phrase.)
A bird in the hand is scary. (Sabrina)
A bird in the hand is dinner.
A bird in the hand is awful.
A bird in the hand is would be cool.
A bird in the hand is a pet.
A bird in the hand is wings.
A bird in the hand is awesome.
I thought this one of Sabrina's was particularly great:
More to read from Ellen: