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Ellie Williams

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What Not To Wear

Posted: 11/01/11 10:32 AM ET

Recently, New York police officers in Park Slope, a neighborhood in Brooklyn, have been calling out women wearing short skirts and shorts, warning the women that they are an easy target for sexual predators. So when did it become police business to decide the dress code of New York City women? When did victim-blaming become commonplace in America?

Growing up in a liberal, upper middle class area instilled some unwavering beliefs in me. My parents strongly advocated personal expression throughout my childhood, as long as doing so didn't negatively impact those around me. This idea of self-expression was one of the most repeated mantras in my household next to the "Golden Rule." Yet as I entered high school, I came to the harsh and cruel realization that despite living in a diverse and affluent community, I would still experience a great deal of disrespect in the form of sexual harassment. So too would so many women around me.

Walking home from practice one night in the spring of my freshman year, I was passed by a cab driver who, making kissing sounds, shouted, "Hey baby, wanna go for a ride?" Ignoring his catcalls, I continued on my way. It was just after 6 p.m. on a residential street and I was wearing a t-shirt and athletic shorts, carrying both a backpack as well as a duffle bag. I was not under the influence, wearing "easy access clothing" or acting promiscuous. I was simply walking home. Yet even if I had done any or all of those things, I would still not be asking for a lewd man or woman to publically or privately harass me.

Despite the seeming inevitability of sexual harassment for women in our society, I do not believe in victim blaming. Victim blaming, or the act of finding the victim at fault in a sexual assault case, is an atrocious occurrence in our society. A woman wearing a miniskirt and high heels when out with friends is in no way inviting the horrific attack of rape. I believe that you have a right to personal expression and that doing so does not override your right to safety and does not invite police officers to dismiss such a violation as something you were "asking for."

While my particular incident in May did not escalate, what if it had? Would our society tell my family that it was my fault for walking home at dusk in shorts? Would I be blamed for being attacked, regardless of the fact that I was a victim who had been disgustingly violated? As a woman in America, I do not believe in victim-blaming; I believe that everyone -- no matter their age, gender, race or sexual orientation -- has the right of personal expression and personal safety, and that these rights do not conflict. I believe that the people in power should be protecting my rights and creating a safer environment for everyone, not advising me on my wardrobe.

 
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
hans sulu
Thanks to CU this space for rent
11:37 AM on 11/02/2011
For years defense lawyers used the blame the victim in court to defend their clients from rape charges. It turned into putting the victim on trail ploy. Over the years the laws have been changed to lessen that. However, it has moved to main stream as well.
Two years ago, Bill O'Reilly blamed a rape victim Jennifer Moore for what she was wearing and what time she was out and about and how much she had drunk. When Amanda Terkel called him out on it, Bill O'Reilly had her ambushed by his producer accusing Ms Terkel of causing pain and suffering.
Women should be allowed to go where they want, when they want and feel free to wear whatever they want. If a woman is attacked we should not assign blame on her but on the person who truly deserves it, the attacker
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
surfette72
Hang on tight Libs...we'll be back.
11:17 PM on 11/01/2011
You are an extremely articulate young lady, my dear, and that will carry you further in life than any item of clothing or "style." And believe me, styles will come, go and then come back again when you least expect it! My children are both in college now and my daughter pretty much wears whatever she wants to, wherever she wants to. I never tried to sensor her clothing of choice. Instead, I simply prepared her for reality. That is key. Feel free to dress any way you choose to, or at least as your parents allow you to at 16. Of course that is your right to dress the way you wish, as it should be. But just remember that "rights" are usually equal across the board. My daughter simply ignores the whistles, comments, etc. Males will notice you; that is just the way it is. Some males are civilized about it, some are not. Your job is to be true to yourself. If you like the way you look that is ALL that matters.
09:58 PM on 11/01/2011
Fantastic article! Very well written. Thank you so much for putting in to words what I have tried to express so many times, yet find hard to say.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Metacarius
06:04 PM on 11/01/2011
Something to consider is while there is the phenomenon of victim blaming, there is still deviance that can be avoided by just being smart. Yes, one can dress provocatively, but if you do, be prepared to illicit a reaction. What counts as provocative changes depending on the situation. I don't know that this should necessarily transform into fashion police, but pre-emptive self-defense should be something to keep in mind.

Example, you get a bad vibe from a guy hanging out in an ally just down the block in the direction you're traveling. Smart money would be on crossing the street or just taking another route all together. Does this violate your rights? Yes. Absolutely. Does he care about your rights? Probably not. Would I bet my safety against somebody else's social conscience? Absolutely not.

As with most situations, the problem is not with the people that play by the rules. It's the ones that don't you have to worry about.