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Every Day a Little Death: The Five Stages of Democratic Grief
1. Acceptance: Okay, fine. Whatever. They win. It's inevitable, really. A complicated or qualified truth is never as arousing as a good hate-charged lie. It's not that you can't make people be intelligent; it's that you can't make people care about things they don't care about. And half the country consists of people who don't care about the truth.
Maybe it's rooted in the universal denial of death: we all come equipped with a mechanism to ignore the unpleasantly true and embrace the preferable fantasy. In any case, half the country sees "hero" and "spunky mom" instead of "confused sellout desperately saying anything" and "lying, ambitious religious nut." It doesn't matter if it's "fair." It doesn't matter if it's "insane." A machine dedicated to exploiting the worst in people will always triumph against a movement asking for the best in people. Meanwhile, since the wall you beat your head against is not going to go away, it's up to you to stop, take your head with you, and walk away from the wall. I'm outa here.
2. Depression: Who am I kidding? This is a nightmare and the one thing you can't do in a nightmare is "accept" it. What am I doing to do -- leave the country? Ridiculous. Meanwhile, greed and vanity, using lies and fear, will once again manipulate ignorance and resentment. Biden's decent-man's sense of modesty and proportion is no match for the turbo-charged ego and effortless mendacity of Palin. The worst people in our public life will win again, and they'll do it using a secret weapon that's the most obvious weapon of all: their shamelessness. A hundred rabid sociopaths are salivating in anticipation of taking Rush Limbaugh's place because that's what America has become.
And so the "ordinary people" applaud for and collude in their own manipulation. And even if Obama ends up getting more votes, it's futile to hope that he'll really "win," because the machines are rigged and the voter rolls are trashed. There's nothing we can do about it and there's no use in even trying. We want a society of justice, fairness, freedom, and common sense, and we're doomed.
3. Bargaining: All right, look. Maybe it's not all either/or. Say McCain wins. We've still got Congress. Yes, they're spineless, ass-covering careerists who spend half their time selling their principles to raise money and the other half defending the system that requires them to do it -- but even they have some pride. Maybe it won't be so bad. McCain will surround himself with war mongers and thieves, but even Congress may have had enough of war and theft (and everyone will believe them if they say "we can't afford it"). So the two branches battle each other to a standstill. Nothing good happens and nothing too terribly bad happens. Then he dies, Palin steps in, and in two months our national life is a cross between Seven Days in May and The Beverly Hillbillies. Couldn't that be fun?
4. Anger: No. Bullshit. There can be no accommodating these complete and total imbeciles. That mob of credulous people, the teeming throng of decent, self-satisfied, naïve dodos who actually cheered that freak show in Minneapolis, the ones who chant "U.S.A." as though rooting for a college football team, the "patriots" who think "patriotism" means voting for the guy who tells you that his opponent isn't "patriotic," the people who every day live in a fantasy world of made-up "heroes," superstitious "faith," self-contradicting "values," invented "facts," and proud, defiant obliviousness of history, human nature, science, and common sense: How stupid can people be?
"Well, I don't really know Obama." Guess what, Mrs. Sixpack? You don't know your fucking spouse. You don't know your fucking self. If you did--if, at the breakfast table, you had the tiniest capacity for honest introspection, and the basic grownup skepticism even you bring to the task of buying a used car--you'd see how you've been played. First by Bush and by Rove, and now by their successors. The contempt they have for you is obvious in everything they openly say to you. Giuliani, McCain, even the self-parodying Romney all deserve Emmys for staying in character and resisting the temptation to turn to each other, point to the crowd, and say, "Can you believe these suckers?"
Because that's what you are: Dupes. Rubes. Marks. You deserve what you get. But we don't. So, memo to Dems: Fuck it. It's war. Call every lie a lie. Tell Palin it's cute that she admits she has the brains of a pit bull but it's not enough to qualify for the office. Shame McCain, over and over, for betraying literally everything he has ever stood for, and for inflicting that trailer-trash Rapture-ready mediocrity on the United States of America. Tell the morons that whoever tells you that someone else is an "elitist" is really telling you that you're an idiot. Take off the gloves, then put them back on, then take them off in slow-motion and throw them in McCain's face. Swift Boat his POW history. Criticize her adequacy as a mother. Ask him why sitting in a cell thirty years ago makes anyone qualified to lead the U.S. in the 21st century. Ask her if she believes in the Rapture and who she thinks will qualify. Ask her if she knows what the Fed does. Ask him if he knows what a server farm is. Are we men, or we moose? Do it.
5. Denial: Calm down. It can't be as bad as I think. The world doesn't really work that way. There are too many intelligent, fair-minded people to allow this grotesque possibility to come to pass. Bush in 2000, Bush in 2004: an affront, a crime, yes, but it's understandable that it was close enough to steal. But this? This fumfering old moral has-been, who no longer knows what he believes, and his provincial beauty pageant runner-up who thinks gall is the same thing as intelligence? People can't, when all is said and done, be that stupid. Some, yes. But not all, and not most. And the voting machine problem, the vote caging, all that? People are aware of it and dealing with it. It'll be okay. I really believe that.
(Repeat from #1)
Cross-posted at What HE Said.
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"Then he dies, Palin steps in, and in two months our national life is a cross between Seven Days in May and The Beverly Hillbillies. Couldn't that be fun?"
It WOULD almost be fun! Thanks, Ellis. Your excellent and witty posts are always help to lift the gloom. I've decided to treat this election with the expectation that Obama will lose.
Then if he somehow becomes president, I'll jump for joy.
I don't want a repeat of 2004, waking up and actually crying salt tears on the morning of November 5th to find that you guys down there had NOT elected Mr. Presidential, can-actually-string-words-together, whipped-George-Bush-in-the-debates, foreign-country-aware John Kerry but somehow had elected George Bush....again.
I agree, It seems that this country has taken a wrong turn and it's time to turn it around
what frightens me is that there are so many people who are almost obsessed with their
holier than thou attitude. It's not about democrats and republicans people, it's that
we have been shown how much this country has not changed and to those of us who
have been thinking we all had moved on to a less bigoted country, well we find ourselves
having to defend the fact that we don't see a black many running for President, but rather
a young energitic intelligent man, not just to the bigots, but rather to friends, neighbors,
and family.We for the most part walk away feeling confused as to why we can't comprehend
their beliefs. I've seen a lot of ugly thoughts come from those who I had respected. If McCain
wins, I guess then, the Mayans were right about our world ending by 2012
I understand the need to freak out, but can we perhaps channel that energy into getting Obama into the White House? There'll be plenty of time for depression (or celebration for that matter) after Nov. 4.
I understand the need to freak out sometimes, but can we perhaps channel that energy into actually working on getting Obama into the White House? There will be plenty of time for depression (or celebration for that matter) after Nov 4.
I agree Leslie!
Were up by four in gallop and the electoral vote at 538 and electoralvote.com. Jeez dont be afraid of winning. Nothing worthwhile comes easy. I swear you hand wringers are half our problem.
Kvetching is a special sort of pleasure. Woody Allen's made a career of it.
If racism plays as big a factor as everyone seems to think it will, we need to be up by 7 or 8. We should be up by 20.
I have to admit I'm a hand wringer. Tell me how do you remain so optimistic. I have a knot in my stomach all the time. I'm scared. I want Obama to win.
I am also a handwringer. I'm afraid that even if Obama gets more votes, the Republicans will rig the voting machines or employ other trickery to steal the election. I don't think I'm being paranoid. The Rethugs stole the 2000 election and I suspect they also stole the 2004 election.
Ellis, I feel this way at times also. But I also try to see positives and negatives as relative. Grief should not necessarily be anticipated until the votes are counted, and hope (however inelegant or clumsy) still exists.
On the minus side, it takes little effort to document the public’s profound ignorance of politics. Michael Delli Carpini and Scott Keeter’s 1996 book, What Americans Know about Politics, and Why It Matters, revealed that ordinary citizens have been ignorant of politics for decades. There are many published studies that show the public’s mind-boggling ignorance of politics, and assess its implications for democracy. Hence, grief is not unreasonable.
On the plus side, Erik Severeid—longtime journalist and commentator for the CBS evening news—wrote: "Never overestimate what the American public knows about public affairs, and never underestimate the public’s ability to make sense of what it does know." We must hope that the public is able to make enough sense of what little it knows I guess. Events of the past week, combined with a strongly felt desire for change, may encourage people to entertain Obama as the most reasonable alternative. There is hope! It ain't pretty, but the people may yet find their way to the best answer.
The sad and interesting thing is that Kubler Ross was writing about the Five Stages of Dying, not the Five Stages of Grief....
Scary prospect that some of us are going through these stages, but I am not giving up hope. Obama is leading in most polls and it is tight in swing states. I like to focus on the positive, not the scary alternative.
Our country cannot die and therefore we will not grieve. We will celebrate on November 5th. I'm taking the day off to celebrate and drink some champagne!
A little bit of nice champagne if Obama wins, a whole lot of cheap bourbon if he loses.
I alternate between Stage 2 "Depression" and Stage 4 "Anger", and my husband has settled into Stage 5, "Denial" and we both seem to skip the other stages completely! I have pasted a quote below that I believe fits the situation:
During his 1956 presidential campaign, a woman called out to Mr. Stevenson "Senator, you have the vote of every thinking person!" Stevenson called back "That's not enough, madam, we need a majority!"
Adlai Stevenson
I am afraid that we (as always) are not in the majority.
My husband has taken to telling me to "calm down" several times a day. I've never had high blood pressure but this exhausting roller coaster of a race may do it. I agree with Weiner that this is a war and it's obvious the Repubs will do anything to win. Their conservative way of governing has been exposed with the financial meltdown and blinders are coming off the people. Republicans hate government because it interferes with their profit making ability. Privatize is their mantra but it's becoming clearer and clearer where that has taken our country.
Well Ellis, you've managed to capture my mood to to the nth degree. For the last many months I cycle from momentary highs to hours of depression. We live in an age of anti-intellectualism in our country. Where dumb is in, lies are truth and critical thinking is mocked. If perchance Obama wins, and I hope he does for our countries sake, he's in for 4 years of living hell as the nonthinkers and lie perpetuators assault his leadership daily.
The country is pretty evenly split 50/50. It's ridiculous when either righties OR lefties claim that they represent "the real" America or "the majority" or "the mainstream" is just demonstrative of their arrogance. After the moderates are discounted, the country is SPLIT EVENLY. NEITHER side is the majority. NEITHER side can claim that they represent America more genuinely.
It makes me think this nation should just split, now that slavery isn't an issue why don't we give the south what they always wanted and let them seceed? This country is completely schismed ideologically and I don't see how that could be resolved. Have a window where people can immigrate to whichever side they want, like when the Muslims and Hindus split up Pakistan and India.
I do believe in a democracy people should live how they want, and that INCLUDES the right. But when there is no clear majority no one ever really gets what they want, you just have endless bickering and games of tug of war. I would fully support the United States splitting into two nations.
I agree. It's a brilliant, creative solution. Those of us who cannot live in this racist country of zero separation between state and church, this country with a Bible belt that tightens and squeezes intelligence and logic from governance in favor of passion and faith, this country of ignorance vs. progressive.
I encourage red states to secede, blue states to unite. I don't know where I'll go if AMERICA doesn't win by electing Obama our next President. It's time for a revolution of voters on November 4th to vote for change. Yes, we can!
I think you have #4 and 5 mixed up. From where I sit the outrage boiling point has been reached by both sides of the aisle. When Faux News can no longer support their own talking points on McCain, its a short hop to the GOP apocalypse. Anger is definitely the last stage.
I disagree cuz I've been thru all of them and I'm stuck on #5 now. I was stuck on #2 for the longest but now that I'm in denial, I can canvass neighborhoods 2-3 times a week. My friend has been in #1 since the 2004 election and hasn't budged
This is all almost enough to make a godless democrat go to church to light a candle.
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