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Heckuva Job, Palie
Remember the Children's Crusade known as the Coalition Provisional Authority? Sure you do. They were the good-looking, whip-smart, thoroughly inept young guys 'n' gals for whom reconstituting the newly-invaded Iraq was a total freakin' goof, a lark delivering both a paycheck and some desert cred they could wave in the face of Cardwell and Persiflage and all their other chums at the dinner parties back in Georgetown. And, of course, a noble exercise in service, okay? Something between an Outward Bound session to placate Dad so he'd (finally) buy you the S-Type, and a summer camp production of Kismet.
From Thomas E. Ricks' definitive Fiasco:
No clear strategy, very little detailed planning, poor communications, high personnel turnover, lots of young and inexperienced political appointees, no well-established business processes," concluded retired Army Col. Ralph Hallenbeck, who worked at the CPA as a civilian contractor dealing with the Iraqi communications infrastructure. Personnel was an especially nettlesome issue. Hallenbeck said that in addition to being young and inexperienced, most of the young CPA people he met during his work as a contractor were ideologically minded Republicans whose only professional experience was working on election campaigns back in the United States.
Is it coming back to you? It's been five years, so take your time. Or try this: "Heckuva job, Brownie."
Ring a bell? The Arabian horse guy in charge of making sure people stepped over the dead bodies as they left the Superdome?
This -- the military referring to C.P.A. as meaning "Can't Produce Anything;" New Orleans citizens drowning in their attics while FEMA chiefs try to get each other on the phone -- is what you get when you get Republicans in government.
When a party that only believes in politics but doesn't believe in governing ends up with power, you get catastrophe, scandal, and corruption. You get career government people trying to do their jobs, thwarted by Young Republicans for Self-Dealing; you get serious professionals in, say, the Justice Department hamstrung and fired by well-connected Regency University grads who don't "believe in" evolution; and you get thousands, if not millions, of innocent shmucks -- in Louisiana, in Iraq -- endangered, abused, and sometimes killed.
Now comes Gustav, timed as though by God His Own Bad Self to coincide with the GOP convention in Minneapolis. There is talk that the Republicans will adjust their festivities to turn the event into a telethon, to raise money to help the sure-to-be-devastated region.
Perfect: On Labor Day, the Party that hates Labor and demonizes the very idea of labor unions, turns to the population whose wealth it has funneled up to the already-wealthy. "We're the party of millionaires and billionaires. Won't you give us money we can give to those poor people whose homes we've somehow been unable to rebuild in three years?"
Still, while Gustav's arrival as the Ghost of Katrina Past delivers a certain literary satisfaction, we cannot help but sense that something's missing.
Where is our new Brownie? Where is the next monumental insult to the idea of competence in the public sphere? We, the public, are a poor old battered wife: we feel that, unless the Republican Party isn't smacking us around (and then blaming us for it), it doesn't love us any more. To whom can we turn for the next round of abuse?
We turn, like the feller sang, North! To Al-asss-ka!
Here comes John McCain (hear, or at least read, his theme song here and Who's That Girl?
Why, that's Alaska Governor Sarah Palin: huntress, mom, beauty queen, former mayor of a town whose entire population of 9,000 could fit in Dell Diamond (2003's "Best Double-A Ball Park in the Country") with 2,000 seats left over, and so on. Nice lady, perky, mooseburgers, hockey mom, creative with the kids' names (Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig--the only gang of siblings in the U.S., if not the world, whose first names sound like a law firm), and a purebred Republican, from her desire to teach creationism in schools to her role at the center of an ongoing criminal investigation into the abuse of power of the Governor's office.
What's she up for? Like, Labor secretary?
That's right: For Veep.
It is, as usual with these people, to laugh, and then to shoot the self in the head. If all being V.P. meant was pretending to preside over the Senate and going to funerals, it would be one thing. But she'd be understudy to a leading man who is already 72 and hasn't yet been subjected to the brutalization of the office (with a Congress run by the opposite party, yet).
Not to mention the cancer, the medical history print-out longer (if you can imagine such a thing) than Infinite Jest, and the fact that some Pacemakers, it turns out, can be hacked remotely. (Seriously. Cf. Of course, McCain doesn't wear one. Yet.) As Chris Kelly said elsewhere in these pages, McCain is twenty-two years older than the state of Alaska itself.
It is plain to everyone who is not a Republican propagandist, apologist, or true believer, that Sarah Palin is grotesquely unqualified to be one heartbeat away from the Oval Office.
And that's what makes her the Woman of the Hour. That's what makes her the next Brownie. That's what makes her the latest, and perhaps greatest, (willing) human sacrifice to the drooling GOP god of Political Expediency.
Or, no, sorry, that's not quite correct. We're the sacrifice. "We" meaning, the U.S. of A., our government, the institution which, theoretically, at least, we empower and pay taxes to, to serve and work for us.
Not that McCain will be elected. But if he were, and if he were then to suffer some medical misfortune, we're the ones who would suffer. Sarah Palin wouldn't suffer. She'd be the President of the United States, if you must know.
Watching her campaign -- or even just stand on a stage -- with McCain will be a study in archetypal imagery, evoking everything from Anna Nichole Smith and her Crypt Keeper hubby to all those scenes, from Columbo to Monk, in which the doddering elder tycoon is led shuffling around the mansion by the sexy young nurse with a calculating gleam in her eye (and a hot, blue-collar boyfriend/husband waiting impatiently back home).
Join us, then, as we stroll down Memory Lane this week. Gustav is coming to remind us of Katrina. President Bush will speak Monday night to remind us that George W. Bush actually was once President of the U.S. And Sarah Palin will be front and center to remind us of Brownie, and of the sorority sisters and frat rats sunning and funning in Baghdad for the CPA, and of every other country club crony, campaign contributor, legacy hire, lobbyist's son and loyalist's "niece" and church-group nitwit inserted into a public office at your, my, and the nation's expense.
Cross-posted at What HE Said.
For more coverage, go to the Huffington Post's Hurricane Gustav page
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I graduated from high school in 1971 and attended a few PTA meetings throughout the years. I only had one child, but I have five grandchildren (in case that counts). I never won a beauty pageant but feel I deserve points for never even thinking of entering such a contest and/or my compassion for the public as a result of not doing so. I worked during most of my life as a legal secretary and was a notary public of the State in which I lived.
Where do I send my resume for Secretary of State? Just "White House, Attention: Condi?" or "McCain Campaign, Attention: Cindy?" (I'd better overhaul my wardrobe before I do this. Looking in phone book for closest "Buffalo Chips/Mooseburgers is Us" store...
P.S. Did I (should I) mention that I'm a registered Independent who leans in favor of Democratic issues?
Ellis Weiner -- you hit the nail directly on the head. A fine, fine article. Thank you.
"whose entire population of 9,000 ...": I believe when she was the Mayor, the population was less than 6,000.
Yeah, she has a big family...
I am confused by some media commentary that Palin is approachable and has made a connection with voters --and all that in a mere 2 days of her receiving media attention.Obama has been on the campaign for 2yrs and is still being categorized as -aloof--has not connected with the people etc.
May I ask the question-Is it because the one is White(pale skin) and the other Dark(Brown skin) or is because he is being held to a different standard than Palin--As I said--Just asking?????
why would a woman representing the party of traditional family values and mother of a special needs infant choose politics above parenting???? The GOP would be all over a Democratic mother making the same choice. Again the gop is shown to be the party of, by and for hypocrites. Abe would be ashamed.
"Now comes Gustav, timed as though by God His Own Bad Self to coincide with the GOP convention in Minneapolis....
Still, while Gustav's arrival as the Ghost of Katrina Past delivers a certain literary satisfaction..."
You, Michael Moore, and Don Fowler, all rooting for death on the Gulf Coast. This is your Democratic Party, folks.
Oh, come on. No Democrat is rooting for a hurricane to destroy American lives and property. Michael Moore sent two MILLION dollars as well as his staff to New Orleans during Katrina; they got there long before Condi stopped shopping for shoes in New York that week.
Mr. Weiner was noting the LITERARY resonance in Gustav's appearance in New Orleans--almost exactly three years after Katrina and during the Republican convention. Katrina was the lowest of all the Bush administration low points--a veritable tempest of failure. The point was that this sort of convergence is usually the stuff of novels or films, not real life. And if you still feel the horror of Katrina, of the governmental malpractice that left people on rooftops, dying in public streets, and trapped in attic, the idea that all of this would be called up again during the Republican convention does see a little like the Republicans reaping what they have sown. George Bush and the Republicans chose to run a permanent campaign rather than to govern the country effectively.
It's just another Republican lie that Democrats or liberals are the ones who call down the wrath of God on their opposition. We're the ones who want to restore the wetlands; rebuild a modern, effective levee systems; and hire competent government employees to deliver services to the American people.
It's your party that wants a government small enough to drown in a bathtub. Or New Orleans.
This is the reason to vote Obama.
Report card: U.S. workers worse off
Well done, Palie, you are preventing the russians from crossing the land bridge at the Bearing strait. Well done Alaska national guard and their commander. Look what the russians did to georgia, they would never consider doing this to Alaska. (the purchase was illegal and some russians never accepted it, time to take it back).
A WORD OF CAUTION AND A CALL TO ACTION
The Obama/Biden ticket has allowed the Right to define them. THEY WILL LOSE THIS ELECTION IF THE CONTINUE THIS PRACTICE. They must move to define McCain's pick as reckless, define Palin's views as extreme, define and prove her "Executive" experience as weak, and define Barack Obama's foreign policy as the catalyst for the CURRENT CHANGES to the Bush Cowboy doctrine. IF THEY DO NOT, THEY WILL LOSE THIS ELECTION. His RACE is a hurdle, therefore he must be a 1000x better political athlete or HE WILL LOSE THIS ELECTION.
No. The Obama/Biden ticket are allowing the American people to judge them. They'll let Pain's scandals and ridiculous statements speak for themselves. There's no need to attack her while she's floundering from practically endorsing Obama and saying the Iraq War was really for oil. You're panicking. Let the MSM get ahold of her and ask REAL questions. It's curtains. Look how they've kept her away from interviews.
Hey, uheard, stop being an operative for the GOP smear machine. robX is right on the money. There is no reason to ruch to war with McSame's pick for VP. They will do a fine job of hanging themselves in the next couple weeks.
"No clear strategy, very little detailed planning, poor communications... lots of young and inexperienced political appointees, no well-established business processes"... this is clearly the criteria McSame used when picking Palin as his VP choice.
Given the utter shocking incompetence and ineptitude of this administration, it is shocking to me that ppl are so willing to sign onto more of the same. They may be getting the govt they deserve but the are dragging the rest of us down, too. Either we as a people evolve or I fear we will all die of their bumbledom.
Gustov. A Russian name. Ahh, the symbolism!
Wow!! This is the best written article I have read since the big Palin announcement. Maybe Barack read this before he appeared on 60 Minutes today. He, too, voiced his observation that the Republicans do not govern once they get in office. For them, it seems, It's all about politics and staying in power (in the name of the Lord).
A word of advice and caution to the Republicans and those on the extreme Right who "honor the Lord with their lips, but their hearts are far from Him" - who are hell bent on overthrowing Barack Obama by any means necessary: Acts 5:39. Maybe, just maybe, this time, the Lord, with His Big Bad Self, has decided that He just might answer the prayers of the "other" Christians like myself who do not believe that you have to be a Right Wing Republican to have an audience with the Creator of the Universe. (WE, of course, knew better than to pray for rain to prevent Barack from speaking last Thursday night. That's because WE "other" Christians read the part of the Good Book that says "When you dig a hole for someone else, you fall into it yourself.") Maybe, just maybe, this time, He just might answer the prayers, this time, of the folks who need some boots so that they can pull themselves up.
"Palin is grossly unqualified..."
Yes, please keep that kind of talk up. Because the more you spout that nonsense, the more it becomes clear to everyone that Barack Obama has LESS qualifications to be president than Palin has.
Please, please, please keep that up, Ellis Weiner, because every time you do, there are a thousand woman voters who will take offense at your misogyny and cast their votes for Sarah just to spite you.
Thanks so much for your help!
No, YOU keep this talk and brand yourself as silly as you already appear to be.
Look at the quality of Palin's experience. Seriously.
She is unqualified....read her record. Foriegn policy is kinda important right now...she has zero experience. Cindy McCain said Palin does have experience because Alaska is closer to Russia. Jeez...I feel much better. If the Governor of my state was nominated for VP... i wouldn't vote for him either. Give me a break...this is our country...we have to protect it. If she would become President...due to McCain death....we are so screwed. At least Biden and Obama have worked on the Foriegn Policy Committee and have relationships with other country leaders.
Yeah, all that public service beginning with the Harvard Law Review was nothing.
I love it that you guys go there. Yeah right. Let's just see how this all plays out, shall we? So far, your gal is looking like a train wreck!
She is so money.
Outstanding, you just made a spot as a fav blogger. After two years here, you are my third. Sirtoa because of his earnestness, Weber because of his exquisite language and arcane imagery, and you sir, for your sense of proportion and irony. No need to thank me, I just calls em as I sees em.
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