Paper Mooned (Or, The Republicans: Crazy, or Nuts?)

Say it's only a paper moon
Sailing over a cardboard sea
It's the Party of Make-Believe
It's called the G.O.P.

First Ann Coulter tells us Joseph McCarthy was a national hero. Now Jonah Goldberg tells us the Nazis were leftists (never mind all those socialists and communists they killed, or their close collaboration with private industry,), and that liberals are fascists because some of them, like Hitler, are vegetarians. "The Nazis took food very, very seriously," Goldberg writes, in case any of us thought the Nazis didn't take food seriously.

First President Bush tells us Osama Bin Laden is our mortal enemy. Then he tells us he doesn't think about him very much. We were attacked by Saudi Arabians living in Afghanistan, so under Bush's command we attack Iraq and declare "Mission Accomplished."

First Dick Cheney says we'll be welcomed as liberators; then he says the insurgency is in its "last throes" when, really, it's in its first throes. And we're not allowed to know which energy companies are helping him to write energy policy so that they feel secure.

Bush says God speaks to him, then he vetoes health insurance for children. Pat Robertson says God caused Hurricane Katrina because homosexuals are wicked (and Jerry Falwell agrees), but fails to explain why God didn't send a hurricane at New York, L.A., or San Francisco, where the real homosexuals live.

Alberto Gonzalez (not the Attorney Corporal or the Attorney Captain -- the Attorney General) can't remember anything and can't remember what he said he can't remember. Clarence Thomas, the greatest beneficiary of affirmative action in history and a man who has risen to literally the highest position possible for someone in his profession, is against affirmative action, feels victimized and sorry for himself, is angry at almost everybody, and doesn't really "like" the job.

Condoleezza Rice warns us that Saddam has nuclear weapons ready to create a "mushroom cloud" when, as intelligence reports said, he didn't. Meanwhile Pakistan, which does have nuclear weapons, is paid billions of dollars and its military dictator is coddled and proclaimed a "good friend" while one of his physicists sells nukes to all comers and Al Qaeda is allowed to frolic free on his border. Now Musharraf and his government face collapse and chaos while Rice worries about her "legacy."

Larry Craig says he's not gay but is caught soliciting gay sex. Mark Foley says he's not gay but is caught flirting with and hustling male Congressional pages. David Vitter is vigorously in favor of "abstinence education" but is caught cavorting (in a diaper) with prostitutes.

William Bennett, who pontificates about "virtue," is an avid gambler.

Rush Limbaugh, who has said that the way to treat people who illegally use drugs is to "find the ones who are getting away with it, convict them and send them up the river," is caught illegally using drugs (and admits to it) but is not, himself, sent up the river.

And now look: of the two leading Republican candidates for president, one is a man who takes the Bible literally and doesn't "believe in" evolution, while the other is a man whose religion holds that Jesus came to America, that Native Americans are descendants of the Hebrews of Israel, and that early (2200 BC-600 BC) inhabitants of North America migrated here from the Middle East. With chariots.

Mike Huckabee believes in the Rapture. Mitt Romney believes in the transparently-fraudulent Book of Mormon. And these two cartoon characters, Mike 'n' Mitt, are the GOP front-runners for the White House.

Take one step back from this carnival of make-believe and let's-pretend, and it becomes clear: The Republican Party has become an aggregation of people who prefer to live in a world of fantasy -- and their first fantasy, the Ur-myth on which the entire conceit rests, is (classically) "we are the realists."

It degrades, into farce and Newspeak, from there. The perpetrators and defenders of the outing of a CIA agent are "patriots." Tom DeLay is a "leader" and Newt Gingrich is a "visionary." The President plays guitar while New Orleans drowns, causes a hundred thousand Americans and Iraqis to be killed or injured, and outsources torture, and it's the Democrats who, per the repellent Ramesh Ponnuru, are the "party of death."

It's one thing to praise "faith." It's another to be, not only indifferent to the idea of objective truth, but actively hostile to it -- unless, of course, like any other good psychopath, they're not aware of their condition. Who knows what they really think is going on in the U.S., in the world, and in their own heads?

Does George W. Bush really believe that he is a good Christian? Does he really believe he's a "compassionate conservative"? Does Ann Coulter mean what she writes? Does Dick Cheney think he's done a good job? Does Rudy Giuliani mean well?

We don't know. We probably can't know. They probably don't know. They don't want to know. Do we want to know? I don't know.

I do know this: When the Supreme Court halted the vote-counting in Florida in 2000 and anointed Bush president, it was the equivalent of dropping that gang of boys on that island in Lord of the Flies. Actually, it was worse: they didn't have any adult supervision. The administration, supposedly, did. But the adults, in the form of the Democrats and the media, were too intimidated (by the tragedy of 9-11, by their corporate masters, by careerist insecurity) to do any supervising.

And so for seven years, under the watchful eye of the genial, soulless Karl Rove, Republicans from sea to shining sea pigged out, yielding to their most gluttonous impulses and indulging their pettiest proclivities. The result? Like Saddam Hussein's (evil, awful) sons, the Republican Party, drunk on power and unmediated by any sensible outside force, went fucking insane.

Yes, we've all enjoyed an easy laugh or two, identifying their obvious hypocrisies and compiling mile-long lists of their lies. But let's not be disingenuous: The sex scandals and the corruption; the no-bid contracts and the sweetheart deals; the payoffs and the fired U.S. Attorneys, the missing billions in Iraq and the incriminating emails that either are or aren't destroyed -- look, nobody's perfect. The Democrats have their own skeletons rattling around in their own walk-in closets.

But read the above rundown and add the ten thousand things there isn't room enough to cite... Factor out the witting lies and brute propaganda... Take out the deceptions they committed on purpose (or think they did), and just leave the stuff about which they are (or think they are) sincere, and you get a picture of mass pathology.

It has gotten so that you have to muster all the compassion and understanding of which you are capable just to think of the Republicans as a party of greedy corporatists manipulating the credulous, the provincial, and the bigoted. That's the nice way of putting it. But it doesn't capture the full picture of the sheer moral and intellectual decay of these people and this institution.

Are you happy now, Bill Buckley? Is this your idea of an honorable and worthy political party, Newt Gingrich? Is this what you mean by "conservative," Bill Kristol? Does it make you proud to be their apologist, David Brooks? Is there anything here you'd like to defend, Peggy Noonan? Glad to be one of the gang, Fred Barnes? Pleased with what you've accomplished, Brit Hume?

Of course, they could all answer, "You bet!" and claim to have deliberately engineered all of this on purpose and with open eyes. Which would really be sick.

Cross-posted at http://barbel.wordpress.com/

Comments

[studio8h]

Wonderful post!

[graffen48]

Exellent post!! One person you did leave out thats very dangerous is good ole Rudi Guiliani. That sob has made millions of dollars for his companies, profiting from 9/11. Its been proven that some of his clients were or have been directly connected to some of the very terrorists he claims he will keep us safe from. He paid for his mistresses with new york city taxpayers money, and the list goes on. And he claims he will protect us?? I don't get it, but didn't both attacks on the trade center occur on his watch??? Great job there Rudi, you really protected the city well didnt you?? Can this idiot really be running for president???? Please people, please, wake up!!!!

[cobraxus]

thank you,very well put.

[hopeless277]

To be a Republican today, you either have to be a religious zelot, a dumbass redneck, or a criminal. Mostly it seems that they are criminals. Con men really. Feeding the 25%ers a list of lies and fantasy. What is sadder than the morphing of the Republican party is the total capitulation of the Democrat(yes, I do mean that as an insult) party. Their failure on every front on which they were elected was puzzling at first. Then came the horrid realization: they are in on the crime. They DO NOT want the gravey train(occupation of Iraq) to end. They DO NOT want the DOJ cleaned up(Mukasey). They DO NOT want to end the lobbying by Bil Oil, Pharma, Ag, etc. Harry and Nancy are keeping the status quo on purpose. There's still a lot of money to be made by sacrificing men and women to the god of war. I pains me to say it but I fear this country will never recover from GWB. And from where I sit, it's a long way down for America.

[rabun666]

This in the USA, the United States of Amnesia after all, and reality is abhorred and the truth has been outlawed with the war against truth, pretending to be wars on drugs and/or terror.

[Mariel]

I have to vote for somebody, and each somebody in this fray has to do the politic thing, such as Edwards saying yesterday he'd get the troops out of Iraq in ten months. I would vote for Edwards in Novemeber, if he wins. In the meanwhile, I am voting for Huckabee Feb.5, unless Edwards IS the obvious candidate.

My reason? The other dems are WAY off of my idea of working for the American people. I'm voting for whoever has what I think is the best plan for America, and it is not Clinton, Obama, even not Biden. Maybe Dodd, but probably not. Kucinich might be OK. Who'd I leave out?

AT this point I can vote only for Edwards or Huckabee. And Huckabee's "paper moon" may just be better than the Global crap shoveled by Clinton and Obama. Edwards is the only one with merely moderate crap to sell, on the Dem side.

[plutorage]

The Brown Shirts, the original nazis, were commies clear as day and Hitler was hired by the corpocracy to take over the Brown Shirts and incorporate them in a fascist movement.


So the nazis were of the left originally and Hitler had to retain enough socialism in his platform to hijack the movement. Obviously Hitler was insane and there is not any real classification of where he ended up except, perhaps, out of control megalomania.

[wsblake]

True enough. But the really scary news is that the democrats are not offering anyone either. So don't be surprised if the Rethugs make it very close, or even win. Having to choose between one of these Rethug wackos or Clinton or Obama, many will take what they consider to be the lesser of two evils.

[Hoelder]

As much as I want to see the irony in this accounting, I see the decay of democracy in the US. The main architect of this Republican "victory" Rove himself tried to engineer a permanent Republican majority which equates to a one party nation. Clearly reminding you of a totalitarian communist or fascist regime. Alone the declared goal of one party rule is anti democratic and followed through means some sort of plan for a fabrication of a majority. Did anybody even notice?

[certainot]

well said!

your examples (of course) are of their leadership and ruling class- well-known republicans. so maybe we need to ask why

one of the most effective enablers of their denial is the uncontested repetition of their talk radio monopoly. one of it's most important functions is to provide a myriad of excuses and scapegoats to choose from.

profile studies show that conservatives have a need to avoid uncertainty. if you're a republican starting to see truth, just listen to limbaugh or hannity and you'll realize it's the fault of some liberal or brown skinned terrorist somewhere. our collapsing economy? limbaugh says the economy's great but if it is faltering it's because of global warming fear-mongering.

the tactic is easy to see when this administration really screws up or is caught in something. limbaugh etc, will throw out a selection of explanations, often including the truth. but the choices represent uncertainty and the faithful will usually home in on the official excuse, the one presented with the most certitude, the excuse or scapegoat that best fits the simplicity and order they rely on to keep the frightening complications and uncertainties of reality at bay.

but why the irrational need for certainty? one theory is that it's caused by sex energy trying to satisfy itself in the logical centers of the brain

[lucnyc]

Your article is spot on. Well done.

[texanna]

Great post. You know what I'd really love? I'd really love it if EVERY DAY Sandra Day O'Connor would have to post on Daily Kos or Huff Post an apology for what she has done to us and this country. She would have plenty of material as these yahoos seem to come up with something everyday that begs for someone to make an apology. Or, conversely, if she were forced to receive, read and respond to no fewer than 10 and no more than 25 emails from someone that has been completely screwed over by the criminals she put in the White House back in 2000.

[TheIndependenceParty]

Thank you Ellis! When I first began working in hospitals long ago, I would leave the psychiatric unit door, and walk back into the world wondering if it was not I who was deranged and demented. Your piece should serve to reassure us that it is not we, the observers of this brood, who have lost our minds. The difference is that in this case, the demented are running the asylum.

[joja]

Brilliant! Just fuckin' brilliant! This should be on every news cycle of the day.

We should all take heart, tho. People like Kevin Phillips seem to have 2 live brain cells and have awakened from their naps to the destruction they enabled. Let's hope it's contagious.

[jpshotwheels]

Great article and I wish Huffpost would fix or explain how to use the forward email process on articles. This would be a great article to send to my mother but I can't ever get it to work, and no explanation why from Huffpost.

My Mother is a die-hard Republican and swears Fox News is Fair and Balanced. She has two pictures of Bush hanging up in her house as if he were a God or something. She thinks Al-Queda will swim across the ocean and take over America if we don't stay in Iraq and the solution to the Middle East is dropping a Nuke on Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq, without using any kind of sense of what that would do to the price of oil or the possibility we wouldn't have any oil left.

The only thing that would get her attention, if we did use a Nuke on these Countries, she can kiss her Stock Market earnings, that has greatly increased during the Bush Administration, a SWEET GOOD BYE.