First they came for me, because I had made fun of Sarah Palin. And they said, "Well, yeah, she's a congenital liar who can't give a coherent answer to a simple question even with the aid of a TelePrompter and a ventriloquist--but she's not representative of the new era of Republican leadership."
And then I said, "Oh, yeah? Well, how about Michael Steele, the new GOP chairman, who believes that 'work' for the government isn't 'a job' (even though it rewards labor with wages, which are spent by the worker on food, clothing, shelter, and health, which payments go back out into the private economy and provide income for fooders, clothers, shelterers, and healthers), plus this clown Steele says that, while government contracts are temporary, private sector jobs (for some magical reason) aren't."
And they said, "Oh, yeah? Well who is more likely to pay taxes: a private business owner, or the government?"
And I said, "Oh, yeah? Well who is more likely to be in business a year from now: most new private business owners, or the government?"
And they said, "Shut up."
Then they came for me because I reminded them that this Michael Steele, who proves you don't have to be a rich white man to be an idiot Republican, said, "a job is something a business-owner creates, it's going to be long-term," but when told that private sector jobs have disappeared in the millions, replied "But they come back, though, George. That's the point. They've gone away before, but they come back!" (Exclamation point added.)
And they said, "What's wrong with coming back? Jesus is going to come back. And when he does he'll be a small business owner, a one-(Son of) Man entrepreneur employing himself as Messiah looking to grow his business and thrive the economy and flourish the righteous."
So I said, "Okay, but wait. That's when the private sector jobs are going to come back? With the Second Coming, as thoroughly described in a highly amusing manner here? What if he never comes? And even if he does, eventually, what if The American People can't wait that long?"
And they said, "He'll come. He has to come, and he'll bring those jobs back with him. This is a Judeo-Christian nation. The Founding Fathers were all Judeo-Christians and the Founding Mothers were all virgins before they were married. The American People will wait as long as the Republican Party tells them they have to."
Watch Steele's interview with George Stephanopoulos, from which one emerges as from a dream, with two questions:
1. What's with George's hair? Is he auditioning to be Treat Williams' stand-in? (You Want: Kurt Russell. You'll Take: Treat Williams. You Get: George Stephanopoulos.)
2. That's it? That's the wisdom of the new (and black!) leader of the GOP? Some yakkity-yak double-talk about "work" vs. "jobs," and a plea--as though this were 1993--to eliminate rules which "have hindered and frustrated the banking process"? When everyone, from Judeos to Christians, agrees that the banking process hasn't been hindered and frustrated enough, that it's been the lack of rules (or of their enforcement) that led us to the edge of this economic cliff?
And then I asked them, "Hey. Where does Michael Steele think the Interstate Highway System, the TVA, NASA, and the beloved sex education film Where The Girls Are: VD in Southeast Asia came from? Didn't the poor shmucks who built, engineered, key-gripped and associate-produced those projects have 'jobs'?"
And they said, "Shut up" again and left me alone. For now.
We are witnessing, not so much the collapse of the Republican Party, as its slide into insanity. Granted, some (like my wife) believe it's already collapsed. Now that the Democrats have stopped shooting themselves in their various feet, it's the Republicans' turn, and they're going after all pedal extremities with every available sidearm--as exemplified by the appointment of Steele, for whom a chair is still a chair, even when there's no one sitting there, but chair is not a house, and a house is not a home, and "work" is not "a job."
Collapse, or craziness? I have my personal opinion. For truly: What was the GOP's great accomplishment last week, about which they openly admitted they felt good? A show of "unity" enough to block the first stimulus package. That's what put a spring back in their step: obstructing a desperately-needed solution to a problem rooted in their political philosophy. "Yes, we helped cover your house with gasoline, and we paid private contractors to shoot flaming arrows at it, yes. But we don't believe in Socialism, so we got the gang together--which wasn't easy!--and had everyone stand in the street to keep the fire trucks away. Yay us! We feel good!"
There are now articles seriously discussing whether--or even why--Rush "America's Favorite Saloon Loudmouth" Limbaugh is the most influential Republican gracing us with his wisdom ("I hope Obama fails") here in Freedom's land. Meanwhile, back at the turkey ranch, "a majority (55%) of Republicans and a plurality (46%) of unaffiliated voters think the GOP should follow Alaska Governor Sarah Palin in the future." (Cf., to your disbelief, here. )
What can that mean, apart from reading "all" newspapers, shoving $160,000 worth of couture into garbage bags, and looking to Joe The Plumber, whose name isn't Joe and who isn't a plumber, for advice? We don't know. We can't know. For all of our personal and political failings, we are still blessed with half a brain, ten percent of which we proudly use on a daily basis. We simply cannot conceive of what the world looks like to whomever is left still calling themselves a Republican.
Sadly, if hilariously, it may be that the usual modalities--psychoanalysis; pharmaceuticals; electro-convulsive therapy; imprisonment in the public stockade subject to shaming, shunning, and the throwing of vegetables--will prove to be of only partial efficacy. In the end, or by this Wednesday, the Republican Party may very well have become an out-and-out cult: self-fulfillingly isolated in its delusions; self-defeatingly exclusive in its narrow insistence on ideological purity; increasingly cut off from the most generous conceptions of reality; and swellingly fervid in its members' imagined threats and grandiose in their fantasy accomplishments. Don't believe me? Read their blogs.
Can we bear to witness such a metamorphosis? You bet. With popcorn. And when even Michael Steele is purged as not being krazee enough for the Sarah-Palinized party, and returns to government employment in the state of Maryland, we'll have just one piece of advice for him: "Dude--enough with the work. Get a job."
Cross-posted at What HE Said.
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Senate Looks To Boost Mass Transit, Highway In Stimulus
WASHINGTON — The Senate voted Tuesday to give a tax break to new car buyers, setting aside bipartisan concerns over the size of an economic...
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Where Is The Stimulus Shock And Awe?
During a November 25 press conference, then President-elect Obama promised "a new spirit of ingenuity," declaring that the "old ways of Washington simply can't meet...
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Deal announced on emergency stimulus plan
WASHINGTON — With job losses soaring nationwide, Senate Democrats reached agreement with a small group of Republicans Friday night on an economic stimulus measure at...
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Obama Admin To Unveil New Rescue Plan For Banks
After weeks of internal debate, the Obama administration has settled on a plan to inject billions of dollars in fresh capital into banks and entice...
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List Of What Got Cut From The Stimulus Bill
A coalition of Democrats and some Republicans reached a compromise that trimmed billions in spending from an earlier version of the Senate economic stimulus bill....
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Congress Divided Over Competing Stimulus Bills
The Senate agreement on a roughly $827 billion economic stimulus bill sets up tough negotiations with the House primarily over tens of billions of dollars...
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Krugman: Senate Stimulus Compromise Cuts Most Needed Parts Of Plan
I'm still working on the numbers, but I've gotten a fair number of requests for comment on the Senate version of the stimulus. The short...
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Obama Readies Campaign-Style Approach To Sell Stimulus Package
Beset by criticism of an alleged ethical double standard over some of his Cabinet choices and an intensifying partisan debate over his economic recovery plan,...
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GOP Senators Face Party's Wrath For Supporting Stimulus Bill
The GOP is set against passage of President Barack Obama's stimulus package. Republicans in the House all voted against it (although it passed) and their...
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Economists Agree: Pass Stimulus Package Immediately
While economists remain divided on the role of government generally, an overwhelming number from both parties are saying that a government stimulus package -- even...
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Controversial Tax Break Would Be Eliminated In Stimulus Bill
A tax decision that made it a better deal for Wells Fargo & Co. to purchase Wachovia Corp. would be eliminated by the economic stimulus...
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Steele Confuses Stephanopoulos: Claims Government Jobs "Aren't Jobs," Private Sector Jobs Never Go Away
There is certainly a political debate to be waged over whether or not government spending can effectively create jobs. But in his interview on This...
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Schumer: Stimulus Bill Will Be Passed Next Week
WASHINGTON — A top Democratic senator predicts that an economic stimulus bill will pass Congress by the end of the coming week because the stakes...
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McCain On Stimulus: Democrats Just Like GOP
WASHINGTON — Republican Sen. John McCain says that Democratic lawmakers putting together an economic stimulus plan are no more open to input from the opposing...
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Dem Group Heaps Praise On GOP Senators For Stimulus Compromise
A Democratic interest group that has been targeted Republican Senators opposed to the stimulus plan has now invested in a new set of ads, honing...
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Stimulus, Yes; Bank Bailout II, No
If Obama does his job he will mobilize public opinion and isolate Republicans who would rather sink the economy than give a Democratic president legislative success.
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Economic Stimulus: Investing in Vets Delivers a Huge Bang for the Buck
As the Senate begins to debate the stimulus package this week, our elected leaders must ensure that any plan fully supports the newest generation of veterans and their families.
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Billionaire For A Day: A More Entertaining Economic Stimulus Package
Let's do something to capture all Americans attention and by doing so make the economic stimulus package real to all of us: 800 Americans will each win a billion dollars.
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Palin's Facebook Page: Opposes Obama's Stimulus Plan
We learn on Facebook that Palin has "serious concerns" with Obama's stimulus package. Say what?
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Just imagine: What if McCain Had Won the Election and Obama had Shafted him During the Stimulus Debate?
Um, are McCain's feelings after losing an election the big question on people's minds in the nation? I think the stimulus package is the focus of the country right now, don't you?
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Stimulate Me!
Experts seem relatively unified, if such a thing is possible, on the issue of direct economic stimulus to every taxpayer. They're against it.
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Where's Ross Perot When You Need Him?
I'm ready for a little old fashioned Ross Perot specification of the expected outcomes of the stimulus package. This is what we call in education a "teachable moment."
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Rahm Throws Pelosi Under The Bus To Save Stimulus Bill
The story of the morning seems to be that the Obama team is unhappy with Nancy Pelosi and the House committee chairs for delivering up such a liberal, pork-laden bill that they themselves really had nothing to do with.
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Our Twin Crises
That we are unable to manage a functioning economy or deal with climate change because rapacious Wall Street traders have disproportionate political clout is a measure of our political dysfunction.
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Creating Jobs Is Not "Wasteful"
America voted for a change of direction last November, not more of the same. Republicans should listen to the American people and work in a bi-partisan fashion to help get our country on the road to recovery.
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Oh, About That "End" of the Obama Honeymoon ...
Where Obama may have made a mistake is in being too substantively accommodating with people who are basically not going to support him except in the event of an extraterrestrial invasion.
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Patriotic Extortion
Imagine if the Democrats had not pre-capitulated to the Republicans on the stimulus bill. Imagine if they had forced the Republicans to actually mount a filibuster.
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Spaghetti Economics
We need to throw lots of spaghetti against the wall, and fast -- and continue to throw lots of spaghetti against the wall for at least a few years.
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Command and Control?
At a time when the country is virtually pleading with him to exert command and control, he has yielded that role to congressional partisans that the public doesn't quite know and almost certainly doesn't trust.
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Why the Stimulus is Needed, Part II
Given the decreases in personal consumption expenditures and gross private domestic investment, what are the chances of the consumer spending again or business investing again?
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House vs. Senate Stimulus Bills
Some highlights: The House version would spend $60 billion more on education -- the Senate version adds more than $100 billion for tax cuts to individuals and families.
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A Better Stimulus for the Economy
The problem with our economy is not weak spending, which is just a symptom of our predicament. The root problem is lack of confidence in the future.
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Wait ... Didn't Michael Steele Just Say My Parents Never Had Jobs?
Mostly this is about the economic ignorance, real or feigned, underlying most GOP objections to this stimulus package.
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The Truth About the Stimulus Package
Until other countries are willing to do their share to stimulate the global economy, the Obama administration is right to lift our boat first.
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Operation Zero Cred
The GOP with Joe the Plumber on the Hill this week to discuss the economy. They should be summarily shut out of this process -- whether or not the president wants them out.
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Stimulus Package: If You Jump Halfway Across a Chasm You Fall Into the Abyss
If we are going to spend two trillion dollars (and most likely more) trying to deal with the economic crisis, shouldn't we do it right?
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Change vs. Bipartisanship: What Happens When You Throw a Bipartisan Party and Half the Guest List Stays Home?
The problem with a message of bipartisanship is that it makes it very difficult to tell the story of why things are so bad that we need dramatic change.
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Delusional or Just Cynical?
A good example of the "frothing at the mouth" reaction to the stimulus plan is a blog penned by Jonathan Tobin, Executive Editor of Commentary.
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Obama Financial Team to Taxpayers: You'll Get Nothing, and Like It
There's nothing that prevents the public from getting their fair share of any future bank profits appropriate to the high risk investment they are being forced to make.
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No, Seriously: Republicans Don't Get It
Investment in bike paths will not only improve our economy, and take our country in the right direction for the future; it is exactly the kind of investment the American people want.
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Obama's Wake-Up Call
Even as unemployment hits 7.6 percent and shows no signs of slowing any time soon, the GOP is falling over itself to protect the ostentatious privileges and prerogatives of a few financial potentates.
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Selling Stimulus
What the administration needs, and what its senior advisers proved so adept at during the campaign, is a simpler, more compelling, campaign-style message for what this legislation is really about.
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A New Movement
There is a movement to strip billions of dollars from the stimulus bill led by Ben Nelson of Omaha (whose Democratic status is debatable) and Susan Collins (Republican) of Maine.
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Energy Self-Reliance and Our Future
You want my opinion on a stimulus plan? Follow Ohio's example and invest in American energy. All of it.
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Stimulating
As muddled as this economic stage may be -- and all major measures taken in crisis usually are -- it is born of the drive to reconstruct and not profiteer, and that alone is progress to applaud.
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Bipartisanship (is) for Dummies
The idea that we can turn this economy around by caving to the feckless demands of those who screwed it up in the first place is utterly bankrupt.
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Obama: Use This And the Jobs Bill Will Pass With a 100 Vote Margin
Our best salesman is Obama. There is no house or senate member who this president cannot roll over.
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Pulling the Wool Over Our Eyes
The American people elected President Obama in record numbers to lead our country in a new direction, if the Republicans aren't willing to join him, the least they can do is get out of his way.
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Obama to Speak Monday Night on Stimulus While Rep. Pete Sessions Says Republicans Are the New Taliban
If the media hadn't acted so irresponsibly the past two weeks and President Obama hadn't tried to be so bipartisan, he might not have had to take to the airwaves, but that's not the case anymore.
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Our Phone Calls Are Working, Don't Let Up!
If representatives know that's what their constituents want, they will be both more inclined to keep that critical public investment from the House bill, and act with the speed.
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Obama Undermines Jobs Mandate For the Sake of Bipartisanship
Roosevelt had the New Deal, Kennedy had the New Frontier, Johnson had the Great Society, and Obama has...the stimulus plan. An abstract goal with fungible components that valued process above all else.
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Lions Coach Up Steelers on Stimulus Package
How can anyone take the GOP seriously on economic policy? Agree or disagree on their philosophy; their record is demonstrably terrible. They are the Detroit Lions of Congress.
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Republicans Say They'd Support the "Right" Stimulus Bill, But Stimulus for Them Is Only More Tax Cuts
If you look closely at what the Republicans are saying, this isn't a debate on the merits of this stimulus legislation, but rather another round of policy battles fought during last year's campaign.
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Democrats in Congress Need to Learn How to Lead
I am losing patience with congressional Democrats' innate instinct to capitulate, something that has been evident since the November 2006 mid-term elections.
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I would grab a government job in a NY minute!
I can only assume the GOP feel they can only regain control by relying on those who can be sneaky enough rather than most competent.
It goes without saying that I will vote against her in the secondary election, but I may vote repub in the primary to support her.
1. He was my choice (selfish I know).
2. At least they were thinking about COUNTRY first, not ME, ME,ME.
For the flip side of the first link, try this one...
The Republicans are not collapsing. They're not sliding in to craziness.
This is a performance art remake of "Old Yeller", with the Republicans in the canine role, and we're near the end of the performance.
To get a real view of what will result if neoConservatives get their way, try reading the above...