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Emma Gray

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Samantha Brick's Daily Mail Piece Misses The Point -- But So Does The Backlash

Posted: 04/ 4/2012 7:13 pm

"There are downsides to being pretty -- the main one being that other women hate me for no other reason than my lovely looks."

Samantha Brick wrote these words in the Daily Mail Monday and provoked a barrage of criticism the likes of which we haven't seen since American mom Dara-Lynn Weiss defended her decision to put her child on a diet in the current issue of Vogue.

Brick, who describes herself as "no Elle Macpherson," but "tall, slim, blonde," wrote that she is constantly bombarded by positive male attention -- she recently received a bottle of champagne from a flight captain, and it wasn't the first time. And because she has the sort of looks that provoke such acts of devotion, she contends, other women resent her. In fact, she makes it sound like women in general are fundamentally jealous creatures out to undermine any woman more attractive than themselves:

If you're a woman reading this, I'd hazard that you've already formed your own opinion about me -- and it won't be very flattering. For while many doors have been opened (literally) as a result of my looks, just as many have been metaphorically slammed in my face -- and usually by my own sex.

This claim, combined with Brick's sanctimonious tone, were reason enough for many readers to react negatively to the piece. It's pretty much impossible to pen this kind of thing (or the follow-up from Brick published Tuesday) without opening yourself up to ridicule -- which the Daily Mail's editors almost surely realized when they published this inevitable traffic-driver. (See the Mail's in-depth analysis of the story's success, including a chart tracking the number of Twitter searches for Brick's name in the last 24 hours.)

Unfortunately, people have criticized Brick's looks more than her ideas, which are off-putting regardless of how beautiful she "really" is. Jezebel's Lindy West summed up the situation with the statement that Brick's piece:

begs women to go all mean-girl on her (every woman I spoke to succumbed to the temptation immediately), gives men a pass to comment on the relative value... of her body, and encourages both sexes to eviscerate, body-shame and judge Brick with impunity because her ideas are so repellant.

The claim that being beautiful is just soooo hard is especially difficult for people to swallow because beauty can give women very distinct advantages -- especially when it comes to their careers. According to an infographic that recently made the Internet rounds, research shows that attractive workers earn 10 to 15 percent more than their "unattractive" counterparts, and in a culture where thinness is often equated with beauty, women who weigh 70 pounds below average tend to earn over $20,000 more than women who are average weight.

But that is not the issue here. The issue isn't that it's not that hard to be pretty, or that very few people are going to empathize if you claim that it is, or that it's a good idea to think twice before lamenting your own gorgeousness in a major newspaper. The issue, which Brick doesn't seem to realize, is that being valued -- or devalued -- for your looks alone isn't good for any women of any shape, size or level of conventional attractiveness. By running this piece, Brick and her editor(s) only underscored that point. The point is also that most women aren't out to undermine other women, and we need to stop perpetuating the idea that they are. In fact, they're perfectly capable of supporting and encouraging other females of the species -- even those who get the occasional bottle of complimentary champagne.

We've rounded up the best quotes about the "curse" of beauty. Have any to add to our list?

LOOK: Quotes About Beauty

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"Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful" -- 1980s Pantene commercial; more recently Keri Hilson's
Pretty Girl Rock

 

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07:43 AM on 05/02/2012
This horrific woman has another article out talking about how some historian woman is too ugly to be on TV.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2138177/Samantha-Brick-Sorry-women-ARE-ugly-TV.html

But I prefer the Samantha Sick version to be honest :P
http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/samantha-sick-why-im-hotter-than-all-of-fhms-100-sexiest-women-daily-mail-samantha-brick
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TRhett
Everyone should get what they deserve
02:44 AM on 04/25/2012
When are people going to learn that NOONE can pull off that "I'm so beautiful/rich that _______ (fill in the blank - with positives or negatives)?" It always backfires, no matter what point is being attempted. I'm sure this was all done with every intention of causing endless Twitter/web chat and backlash (with its resulting increase in traffic/etc.) . . . but they always seem to be caught by surprise at the nastiness of the backlash. Learn from the past, folks -
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imanormalalien
and yes, it's a MGMT reference
11:43 PM on 04/16/2012
I don't get the backlash. Of course writing such a piece brings upon a lot of criticism to yourself, but she generally has a point that very pretty people have certain advantages. we all know this.
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TRhett
Everyone should get what they deserve
03:02 AM on 04/25/2012
Yes, we do . . . but most of us have sense enough not to brag about it, keep our mouths shut, and quietly work with it. Otherwise, you risk turning a positive into a negative and pretty much lose all the benefits thereof. At the risk of sounding cynical, I learned very early (15 to be exact, when a high school teacher three times my age couldn't keep her hands off me) how to work the situation to my advantage . . . quietly and innocuously. And even though I'm not "young" any more, I'm still subtlely working it.
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imanormalalien
and yes, it's a MGMT reference
10:09 AM on 04/25/2012
There are teachers (and etc.) who do even do inappropriate things with kids that don't have "appealing features". That's a whole other topic, though. But with this, why are the different ways attractive and not-so-attractive people get treated so taboo to be discussed? Is it just because the writer focused a lot of the story on herself? Or this whole subject matter just has to be shoved under the rug. There's actually some relevant things relating to this subject that I think people would be interested to know about. Like I saw an article on how being "too attractive" could be a negative factor in getting hired by another woman, for a job
12:40 PM on 04/16/2012
Reading the women's section makes me feel like men aren't supposed to relate to this, but none of the articles are ever about women-exclusive issues. EVERYONE deals with his crap. Get over it.
11:04 PM on 04/14/2012
in general samantha bricks point are well founded
in practice, its hard to take her serous with her below average looks

I have 3 sisters a mother many female cousins and aunts, and a healthy share of solid relationships and I can say without doubt, that women are their own worst enemies and judge each other in a manner far worse than any man could
04:39 PM on 04/12/2012
I've learned a lot about human nature by riding the subway and overhearing other's conversations. On one occasion, I overheard a group of 3 women just tear apart another women's looks, personality etc because a guy that one of them was interested in had been talking about how beautiful this woman was and that he wanted to "hook up" with this women. On another occasion, I overheard two girls planning a party and they decided not to invite a certain woman solely because they thought she was beautiful and they were afraid that they would not get the attention of certain men that were also to be invited. So I actually agree with Samatha Black--I believe that there are definitely many women out there that discriminate against women they feel are attractive because of intimidation--that's not to say that there aren't women that are compassionate and evolved human beings but to deny that women can be cruel like that is to be in denial!

I also feel that by Samatha Black putting out such a controversial statement and watching the barrage of criticism pour in regarding ms black's appearance really proves her larger point that women are often judged by their appearance first and foremost.
08:50 AM on 04/11/2012
Don't hate me, but I've created a beautiful chart to sort this out:

http://www.suburbankamikaze.com/suburban_kamikaze/2012/04/samantha-brick-beautiful-women-hate-chart.html

SK
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TRhett
Everyone should get what they deserve
03:10 AM on 04/25/2012
Why would anybody hate you . . . that's hilarious. And dead on.
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Still Posting
FOX: Devolving their viewers since 2002.
04:21 PM on 04/09/2012
1. "which the Daily Mail's editors almost surely realized when they published this inevitable traffic-driver."

2. Loves me some Ani DeFranco [slide 2].
08:36 AM on 04/09/2012
Is it not enough for women to just simply be happy with what they have, and work it? I have many a beautiful female friends who just enjoy life as it comes without making a stink over something so shallow.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
HoneyBQuick
Be who you are and say what you feel.
12:36 AM on 04/09/2012
I immediately distrust women who immediately distrust other women. Women who say things like, "I don't have a lot of female friends because women are so catty!" I almost always find that such statements come from catty women.

For certain, as a gender, we have our fair share of sinkholes, but most women - even if they're not "my kind of woman" - are lovely in all kinds of ways.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Robyn Singleton
screw you guys, Im going home
03:04 AM on 04/09/2012
women suck
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imanormalalien
and yes, it's a MGMT reference
11:58 PM on 04/16/2012
not true at all. i'm really nice to people and yet girls still often snub me off. guys are easier to be friends with
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Thirdway
Populist
11:53 PM on 04/08/2012
I'd be wiling to bet the real reason she has trouble making friends with women because she is always telling them how beautiful she is. I mean think about the conversation. She probably says things like "you have it so easy, when you look like me every guy is trying to eye-hump you." That's pretty much just saying, "feel sorry for me that I'm prettier than you."
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
afowler712
Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspi
03:10 AM on 04/08/2012
Sammantha Brick is a normal looking woman, she has an open face and a sweet smile. She is not beautiful but rather looks approachable to me, like someone you might have had a breif friendly discussion with at a store while standing beside her in line. She is mistaking 'beauty' for 'approachability' IMO that is what has 'opened doors' for her, and her naivete is what has 'slammed them' in her face. I don't feel that she has deserved all of the hate that has been sent her way, yeah she comes off as ignorant, but let her be no one said you had to agree.
11:22 AM on 04/07/2012
In a letter that Samantha Brick penned in response to the backlash and was printed in the Daily Mail, she says that all the hatred toward her is because she admits she is pretty. Actually, the hatred does not come from her "good self-image" but from her bashing all other women. I am inspired by women who know the look great and I want to feel that way about myself and try hard to. I am NOT inspired by women who bash other women and assume that all of us in the female gender are petty, jealous, insecure little beings all groveling with a mixture of awe and jealousy at Samantha Brick's feet. Here is my response to her nasty attitude about her own gender: http://urbancowgrrl.blogspot.com/2012/04/why-its-hard-to-be-beautiful.html
10:41 AM on 04/07/2012
Part 2: Sexual harassment exists and impacts women everywhere....Maybe she went about it in a bit of a strange way but ultimately I think one thing she was getting at is sexual harassment. It is real and I think it is something that needs to be stopped. Enough with the war on women, let's put some effort behind the war on sexual violence which includes sexual harassment.
11:28 AM on 04/07/2012
I definitely agree with you that sexual harassment is very real. And although it is about power and control (not attraction) so it can happen to any women, I myself have seen this particular form of violence against women show up more so with the stereotypical "attractive" woman (or what the media pushes as attractive). That said, I think the problem with Ms. Brick's original "I'm Too Pretty" article was that she perpetuates a misogynist attitude by putting so much blame on other women for her own personal relationship issues by demeaning the entire female gender to petty, insecure, catty children who are ruled by jealousy and competition. In my opinion that just continues the misogynist attitude that women have been fighting against for centuries in Western culture and it makes me sad to see one of our own throwing the rest of us to the lions.
10:39 AM on 04/07/2012
While I have been unable to find the actual blog to read for myself, I think that there is a kernal of truth to what Samantha Bricks is saying. I have lived in France as a young, blonde woman and let me tell you I received A LOT of attention from men. The difference is whether this is WANTED attention or UNWANTED. In my case, it was UNWANTED and therefore that is sexual harassment. Many times I have felt unsafe walking around alone at night and am very very cautious traveling alone. What causes this? I do not know but I would make the guess that it originates with sexism and the MEDIA'S and popular cultures portrayal of women. For years popular culture has been saying that women are supposed to be tall, blonde with 'fine features' and blue eyes, because of the power of the US media, this has reached people all over the world including France where Samantha lives. I think that appearance is given too much credit for EVERYONE and while yes, studies have found that more 'attractive' typically are able to get better jobs, ect. there are some danger's out there and it is not just for 'pretty women' but really for any woman. There are double standards out there and I think it is injust to forget that sexual harassment is REAL.