Super Bowl Commercials We'd Love To See ... Sans Randall Terry And 'Beer Guy'

Oh, the plight of the Super Bowl viewer who watches mainly for the commercials. As many of us have learned, this is a hit-or-miss approach to the big day. For every creative and adorable ad that runs (think last year's Volkswagen spot featuring mini Darth Vader), there are about five to which the only reasonable response is "what were they thinking???"

This year, the outlook isn't so great (well, except for that David Beckham ad). Between spots for Budweiser and Chevy, we may be in for graphic pro-life ads that anti-abortion activist Randall Terry has promised to run in 40 local markets. (The ads won't be aired on the national level, but since Terry has announced his candidacy in the 2012 presidential race, TV stations located in states holding a primary election within 45 days of the Super Bowl are required to run them by law. So far, only NBC Chicago and Colorado NBC affiliate KKCO have pushed back.)

Jezebel has already called a "party foul" on "Terry's crusade to ruin hot wings and bean dip permanently for everyone." But ads like these aren't the only commercials the Super Bowl could do without. There are the boring variations on the theme "Beer -- Worship It," the 18 talking animal ads, and let's not forget 2010's slew of commercials depicting men as helpless losers.

Slate's Kerry Howley described these sad former "Beer Guys":

This guy maybe used to be Beer Guy until he started dating some horrible shrew who makes him carry her lip gloss. Now he's just resentful. Beer Guy was hovering in between the joyful, beer-soaked depths of his animality and the banality of civilization. This new guy, he of the Flo TV and Dodge Charger ads, has tipped over into civilization and feels oppressed.

What would happen if Super Bowl advertisers skipped the abortion debate and the sad dudes and opted instead for some ads that don't demean anyone and keep things festive? Here are some commercials we'd love to see on February 5th.

SLIDESHOW: The 12 Super Bowl Commercials We'd Love To See

 

Follow Emma Gray on Twitter: www.twitter.com/emmaladyrose

Comments

[gevan]

11:40 PM on 02/05/2012

For some reason I'm not interested in wearing David Beckham's underwear.

[rdschuler]

06:58 AM on 02/05/2012

I miss those days when the teams played for the love of the game and didn't have to behave like a bunch of weirdo's after scoring to get attention .Since I'm 80 years old ,and have seen much of what the teams have to offer today,I think sports have sunk to a new low in every respect .Tough to find a role model ,that the youth can look up to . Trouble is,they don't have a clue what a role model is .

[BrianDaubachFan]

01:57 AM on 02/04/2012

Light beer doesn't need to market to women, and has succeeded in winning over men through decades of male-oriented ads. Big breweries love it, because light beer costs a lot less to make than real beer. If I see a SB ad championing real beer over light beer, I will be loyal to that brand for the forseeable future.

[Vrano]

07:49 PM on 02/03/2012

So, who does this "we" demographic cover.

[RealistBC]

07:17 PM on 02/03/2012

Further proof America deserves the corrupt government which it now serves.

[simplemee]

05:36 PM on 02/03/2012

Yes to Ryan Gosling.

[Louie Rey]

04:33 PM on 02/03/2012

I could watch all the E-Trade baby commercials over and over again. They're adorable and very funny. By the way, I'm not much of a golfer. I'm more of a Shankapotamous!

[riverrose28]

03:41 PM on 02/03/2012

I love the e-trader babies, and the beer commercials, not to impressed with go-daddy! But, we all like different things! I'm so looking forward to Sunday! I'm rooting for the Giants, I think hubby is rooting for the other guys, so it should be fun around here. I just hope I don't fall asleep and need to watch the end of the game through my eyelids like last year, boring! Hopefully this years game will be more exciting.

[wine93]

02:49 PM on 02/03/2012

How about any of the Budwiser frog commercials? They were great...

[Rae48]

02:36 PM on 02/03/2012

I love those babies.

[Shay Howey]

02:34 PM on 02/03/2012

Speak for yourself on the lizard idea-I'd rather see him get smushed by a car and put a much needed end to this annoying commercial "character"

[CaWa]

02:20 PM on 02/03/2012

Yes, Taye Diggs selling anything. And bring back that Jag commercial with Sting. I don't think that was Superbowl commerical, but it was still hot.

Has anyone purchased web services from Godaddy? I just wonder how boobs really communicate relaible web services to anyone. But, then, I guess boobs sell cars, beer, and a lot of other stuff.

[kapalabhati]

09:54 AM on 02/04/2012

Taye Diggs could sell me something I already own at a 200% mark up.

[hollyk]

02:06 PM on 02/03/2012

The etrade babies are the best--always look forward to seeing them!

[hereztheclincher]

01:24 PM on 02/03/2012

After reading the article, I said "this had to be written by a woman." Of course it was.

[CaWa]

02:20 PM on 02/03/2012

The picture and the byline might have been a clue.

[TeriA1]

03:38 PM on 02/03/2012

What gave it away, her picture, the name Emma, or the "Huff Post Women" banner? After reading the comment, I said, "This had to be written by a man." Of course, it was.

[BrianDaubachFan]

01:59 AM on 02/04/2012

To be fair, the banner reads "Huff Post Sports" if you come to the article from the Sports section.

[ex1machina]

01:24 PM on 02/03/2012

Yeah, I'm fine with the ad people coming up with their own ideas. I like the Ferris Bueller/Broderick spot -- Funny or Die's already jumped on that bandwagon with a Ferris Bueller meets Back to the Future parody which I'm guessing was inspired by it.