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Emma Gray

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Women At Work: Jealousy And Envy Impact Women Differently Than Men

Posted: 05/06/2012 12:13 pm

Have you ever been jealous of someone that you work with? According to a new study, a whole lot of people are -- and those feelings of jealousy impact women differently than they do men.

The study, published in the most recent issue of the journal Revista de Psicologia Social, examined the way that feelings of jealousy (defined as "a threat or loss of success in a relationship due to interference from a rival") and envy (defined as "a response to another person who has success, skills or qualities that [you] desire") impact workplace dynamics. The researchers were especially interested in the way that these feelings impact "intrasexual competition" -- competition between people of the same gender spurred on by the desire to get and keep "access" to the opposite sex.

What they found after studying men and women in the Netherlands, Spain and Argentina was that women's feelings of jealousy and envy can be predicted by intrasexual competition, whereas men's can't. "Women with a high level of intrasexual competition are more jealous if the rival is more attractive, and more envious if the rival is more powerful and dominating," Rosario Zurriaga, one of the study's authors, told the Spanish Foundation for Research and Technology. However, when it came to social skills, both men and women showed signs of jealousy and envy toward individuals who seemed to have an easier time socially at the office.

The results highlighted the important role that the ability to build friendly relationships plays in the workplace -- which probably doesn't come as a surprise to anyone. Previous studies have shown that women benefit greatly when they have allies at work, especially those in leadership positions, and well-developed social skills help build those relationships. However, the fact that women resent female coworkers based on their for looks, perceived "dominance" and the amount of attention those coworders receive from the opposite sex is disturbing. The findings seem to confirm the results of a plethora of studies showing that looks really do matter when it comes to getting a job. A study from April indicated that conventionally attractive women who included a photo of themselves with their resume were less likely to get an interview. Data has also shown that women who are overweight or considered "unattractive" make significantly lower salaries than their conventionally pretty counterparts.

The issue gets especially tricky when trying to figure out how to address it, as Meredith Lepore of The Grindstone points out:

The main thesis that was supposed to be learned from this study is that in order to prevent the negative effects of these feelings, companies should try to modify aspects such as the perception of threat, loss or comparison with others at work. That seems like a bit of a daunting task though. How do you make someone not feel like they are being threatened?

Since it is so difficult to do anything about this supposed issue, I wonder what the authors of this study hoped to accomplish in the first place. New research about women and their supposedly inherent inability to support one another seems to come out every other week, but the value of the findings alone isn't clear to me. If researchers are going to keep examining tensions between women, shouldn't they also be investigating what causes those tensions? When a study suggests that female bosses are harder on female employees or female coworkers compete with each other more intensely than they do with their male counterparts, do the findings indicate that women are predisposed to antagonize other women, or is there something about their particular workplace that makes them feel there are only so many women allowed at the top? When women judge other women's looks more harshly at work, is it because they have a natural tendency to focus on the superficial, or does their particular office culture suggest that a woman's advancement is based in part on her appearance? Shouldn't we be raising these questions as well?

What do you think? Do you feel like women are impacted by feelings of jealousy in the workplace? If so, what should be done about it?

 

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Have you ever been jealous of someone that you work with? According to a new study, a whole lot of people are -- and those feelings of jealousy impact women differently than they do men. The study, ...
Have you ever been jealous of someone that you work with? According to a new study, a whole lot of people are -- and those feelings of jealousy impact women differently than they do men. The study, ...
 
 
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03:08 AM on 05/25/2012
First of all, I don't truly believe that biological sex plays much of a roll in workplace interaction at all, but rather the way society seems to mold us categorically. Men seem to be taught that they're entitled - that if they do what they're supposed to, they'll succeed. On the other hand, women are taught that if they do what they're supposed to, they might get an opportunity. I think society makes it difficult for women to relax in any position because it's always possible that someone else might take over what they worked so hard to obtain, not to mention that (when it comes to other women) it might be because of something as simple as appearance or superficial charisma (I mean charisma in non-work-related situations).

Having said that, I've actually found the opposite of what this article describes in my workplace. Of course, we've all experienced envy for each other at some point, but the men in my workplace seem to keep to themselves; their lives are their own and their accomplishments are their own, end of story. The women, however, do what they can to help each other have equal ground. I'm not saying that anyone is jumping through hoops to get another woman promoted, but they're certainly concerned about making sure everyone has equal opportunity. I feel like the men are more likely to say "Everyone for his/herself" while the women are more likely to say "Maybe we can help each other out".
09:48 AM on 05/08/2012
Oh yes. I have worked with a few middle-aged women who most likely had to fight tooth and nail to get where they were, and instead of championing a fellow woman, they totally backstabbed me and other young women out of jealousy. It's a shame. We need to stick together!
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patililac
heaven forbid!
04:06 AM on 05/08/2012
No, totally disagree. If a woman has negative feelings against another woman, she is called catty or described as jealous. This recent ONE study is skewed, manipulative, and not valid at all.
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brooklyncitizen
Soror quaerens lucem
09:52 PM on 05/07/2012
Well the takeway from these studies is that it validates what many of us have experienced. As a self proclaimed youngish feminist I wanted to work with women in what is still a predominantly white male profession, Architecture. As a woman of color I have certainly been on the receiving end of racism and chauvinism but NOTHING compares to what I experienced with female bosses. Awful, disrespectful, envious, and dysfunctional.

It certainly put working with the boys in an entirely new light. Men (there are exceptions if they are insecure) will welcome talent and good skills because it is good for the job and project.They do respect someone who knows what they are doing and welcome it.Women will be threatened and then react to you from a place of insecurity and simply "attack". Yeah, it can get ugly.

I have made a couple great friendships with female colleagues in Architecture and I cherish these friendships.
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MissTake1989
Equal means equal, hypocrites.
06:43 AM on 05/08/2012
Thanks for your honesty. I appreciate that your loyalty is to reality over feminist solidarity.

That is shockingly rare.

Only with honest dialogue can real change happen.
08:55 PM on 05/07/2012
Article says..." women and their supposedly inherent inability to support one another ..."

A woman is a very reserved creature who perceives herself and the world inside her. While between men there is interaction, support, and readiness to sacrifice for others, this does not exist between women initially, by nature. Every female, every woman, anything female is designed to exist on her own, protect her boundaries, children, household, den, and so on.

This is instilled in them by nature, and this is why we must not deform it. We have no right to break the woman’s nature; on the contrary, we have to develop it harmoniously, and at the same time integrate women with each other. How can you accomplish this?

When a woman tries to establish contact with another woman, she should clearly see what they have in common with each other, what mutually ties them together. It isn’t just some junction, but a common emotional, physical, social, and cultural realm where they don’t simply touch but as if overlay over one another. This way, feelings of jealousy and envy can be turned into goodness- by using them only in order to improve oneself.

They say that there is a woman behind every successful man, and this is really true. Every woman has this power. This truth can be a unifying force for all women whether she is a wife, mother, sister or a friend.
07:00 PM on 05/07/2012
I'm not speaking for women, but I have found a very effective way to counteract envy/jealousy.

If someone is smarter, better looking, stronger, etc... I came to the realization that nobody is smart. Only God is smart, and He's lending His intelligence to someone. Better looking? God has lent someone His beauty. Stronger? God has lent someone His strength.

This has protected me from envy/jealousy most of my life.
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brooklyncitizen
Soror quaerens lucem
09:55 PM on 05/07/2012
And it works if you bleive in a God.
I personally do but many will not process this in the same way. I think it can be extended to say that all we are our talents and gifts are from God so we can't really take the credit for them.It's humbling
01:16 AM on 05/08/2012
Thanks for your response.
I was trying to figure out what to say to include the HP posters who are atheist/agnostic, but I couldn't speak as effectively from that POV. So instead I just relayed what has worked in my personal experience.
11:53 PM on 05/08/2012
So what you are saying is that the Creative Force or Creator of the Universe has arranged it somehow that one person has some quality and another may have something else. In this system there is nothing better than or more than, just different. In addition everything we think we have here is temporary and our qualities didn't spring from our own effort in the first place so why stress the differences? Your attitude eliminates the competitive quotient and can help us move into seeing our similarities rather than our differences.
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Kittenesque
06:01 PM on 05/07/2012
My jealous supervisor didn't let me last at work despite my raise for good work. She just couldn't stand me, in the same position as her, but fresh out of college, two decades her junior. But there are other women who were very welcoming. They just weren't working with me so the dynamics were different. I hope I will only ever be supportive of the younger crowd struggling to make it rather than being jealous of their youth, fashion sense or whatever else. It is so petty.
01:56 PM on 05/07/2012
If you study it, you will find differences. They study the difference between men and women all day and night, but don't study any other differences, so it looks like sex is the great divide. If they looked at stuff like class, upbringing, or even height they would find differences too. Sex is a factor, but not the only thing that makes a person what they are.
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brooklyncitizen
Soror quaerens lucem
09:56 PM on 05/07/2012
I think you miss the point.
It speaks more to how women relate to each other in the work place
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millebocca
veni, vidi, clicki
09:26 AM on 05/07/2012
there is nothing "supposed" about either the issue or (some/many) women's inability to support each other/overcome petty competitive attitudes and their resulting hostility.

jealous/envious female co-workers can be won over, but it takes time, perseverance and a turn-the-other-cheek willingness on the part of the attacked gal. trust me, the gal in question sees it for what it is - both the hateful behaviors, barbs and exclusion meted out by the jealous woman/women AND the lame extra attention some men give them, which can often be very unwelcome. be advised, though, looks, charm, u-call-it, can and will be used as needed, so no amount of hatefulness will ever change that reality. the resentful ones would better spend their time working on themselves and/or finding common ground, of which there is always more than less.

feeling sorry for the attacker(s) and intellectualizing their issues helps the attacked gal cope, though no one is ever immune from feeling hurt by any attack, especially when it is undeserved. happily for all, skill/know-how/intellect have a wonderful way of creating the ultimate balance.
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cordierite
always misunderstood
03:41 PM on 05/07/2012
I'm an American and just came back from briefly working from an overseas commonwealth country in the pacfic which stated that I would be and thought would be getting support from other staff members in training me in a dominently female company and can say after all these years this stuff still exists and it gets tiring. To this day I don't know what exactly happened but know it wasn't "cultural differences" or misunderstandings. The company I worked at which hires every year due to its "high turnover rate" would think would be welcoming of new employees and try to keep them but isn't.Throughout this I tried to be as professional and classy while I was being backstabbed, scapegoated and gossiped about in hopes of winning the meanest of female co-workers over but to know avail and not in the nick of time. In the end I haven't heard of any work from them and returned back the United States in part to not getting any help because of something they didn't like about me. I wasn't even a threat to their employment since I was low on hierarchy scale and would leave after my contract expired to return back to my home country after my working holiday visa expired. I don't know if there is a solution but you just have to trust universe to handle this but it is tiring when your trying to earn a salary.
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Charlotte Bonnie
Agnostic. Turkish-American. Classical liberal. Gay
08:39 AM on 05/07/2012
One thing I can't stand in a workplace is gossip and backstabbing which goes into the arsenal of women though being a very tomboyish female I haven't had any catty encounters with neither my female supervisors nor my coworkers because for them I'm kind of like one of the boys. Ironically, the females who complain about drama cause the most drama themselves but I've had my fair share of problems with men too due to their insecurity. One of them commented on my masculine behavior and expressed his "slight annoyance" with it. Even though I wanted to tell him off really bad I let it slip away because in general we got along very well. We don't go to work to cater to males' visual preferences. While I agree there is a vicious competition between women in the workplace there are an equal number of men who can't stand strong, outspoken women since they associate these characteristics as masculine characteristics. A male who gets angry at work will be called ambitious and passionate whereas a female who gets angry will be labeled as a b...h. Double standards still exist. I guess in order to be happy I'll have to work with nerds and geeks or have my own business.
11:17 AM on 05/07/2012
I agree with the statement that the people who complain the most about drama are usually at the center of drama. My work strategy is to listen to all the gossip and keep it to myself. It helps to have a handle on the political alliances of the day, future layoffs, and difficult personalities. Spreading this information will get you in trouble. Funny thing, if you come across as calm and non-combative, people will tell you the strangest things.
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getpeace
Get Courage, Have Fun...
08:18 AM on 05/07/2012
Insecurity and low self-esteem are at the root of jealousy. The key is to raise our daughters to embrace who they are with confidence. Then women can support, and will want to support, other women.
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rewith85man
Expressing Who I Am
04:54 PM on 05/07/2012
Not all mothers can raise their daughters to be happy and appreciative of who they are.

What if a girl who loves her life and so still have to deal with jealous females?
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getpeace
Get Courage, Have Fun...
07:02 PM on 05/07/2012
Good point....also important to raise our daughters to be strong and stand up for themselves. And to befriend women who build them up, not tear them down.
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oldwolf49
Religion is a tool of the evil.
07:47 AM on 05/07/2012
I have worked for more women bosses than men and in my experience when a woman feels slighted she becomes vindictive towards everyone equally where as men simply make that one person feel like crap.
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Vballboy60
The Dudes abides...with the moderation
07:34 AM on 05/07/2012
Unfortunately some, not all, women in my work place become vindictive when they feel they have been slighted. And all too often it is merely the perception of having been slighted that sends them into this state of mind.

Women can tend to be more emotionally involved with co-workers, meaning that their are emotions that develop as associated with business relationships. My best boss ever was a woman but I have had difficulty with women co-workers who tend to dramatize the day's events. I know men who do this also but not as commonly.
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jf12
Esta vez saldré como las otras y me escaparé.
10:05 AM on 05/07/2012
Agreed. Most women tend to be much better in general at, shall we say, dishing out directives rather than taking them.
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jf12
Esta vez saldré como las otras y me escaparé.
07:33 AM on 05/07/2012
Keep in mind that in this case men's feelings can't be predicted by their behavior. But the women's feelings are. It's not the result of the men *doing* *anything*.
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frank1946
Tell the Truth
07:31 AM on 05/07/2012
Natural tendency to focus on the superficial ?

As Good as it Gets. Attractive women advance because they are works of Art and are appreciated.

As old as time itself. There is no excuse for an ugly Woman ! Who said that ?