Have you ever been jealous of someone that you work with? According to a new study, a whole lot of people are -- and those feelings of jealousy impact women differently than they do men.
The study, published in the most recent issue of the journal Revista de Psicologia Social, examined the way that feelings of jealousy (defined as "a threat or loss of success in a relationship due to interference from a rival") and envy (defined as "a response to another person who has success, skills or qualities that [you] desire") impact workplace dynamics. The researchers were especially interested in the way that these feelings impact "intrasexual competition" -- competition between people of the same gender spurred on by the desire to get and keep "access" to the opposite sex.
What they found after studying men and women in the Netherlands, Spain and Argentina was that women's feelings of jealousy and envy can be predicted by intrasexual competition, whereas men's can't. "Women with a high level of intrasexual competition are more jealous if the rival is more attractive, and more envious if the rival is more powerful and dominating," Rosario Zurriaga, one of the study's authors, told the Spanish Foundation for Research and Technology. However, when it came to social skills, both men and women showed signs of jealousy and envy toward individuals who seemed to have an easier time socially at the office.
The results highlighted the important role that the ability to build friendly relationships plays in the workplace -- which probably doesn't come as a surprise to anyone. Previous studies have shown that women benefit greatly when they have allies at work, especially those in leadership positions, and well-developed social skills help build those relationships. However, the fact that women resent female coworkers based on their for looks, perceived "dominance" and the amount of attention those coworders receive from the opposite sex is disturbing. The findings seem to confirm the results of a plethora of studies showing that looks really do matter when it comes to getting a job. A study from April indicated that conventionally attractive women who included a photo of themselves with their resume were less likely to get an interview. Data has also shown that women who are overweight or considered "unattractive" make significantly lower salaries than their conventionally pretty counterparts.
The issue gets especially tricky when trying to figure out how to address it, as Meredith Lepore of The Grindstone points out:
The main thesis that was supposed to be learned from this study is that in order to prevent the negative effects of these feelings, companies should try to modify aspects such as the perception of threat, loss or comparison with others at work. That seems like a bit of a daunting task though. How do you make someone not feel like they are being threatened?
Since it is so difficult to do anything about this supposed issue, I wonder what the authors of this study hoped to accomplish in the first place. New research about women and their supposedly inherent inability to support one another seems to come out every other week, but the value of the findings alone isn't clear to me. If researchers are going to keep examining tensions between women, shouldn't they also be investigating what causes those tensions? When a study suggests that female bosses are harder on female employees or female coworkers compete with each other more intensely than they do with their male counterparts, do the findings indicate that women are predisposed to antagonize other women, or is there something about their particular workplace that makes them feel there are only so many women allowed at the top? When women judge other women's looks more harshly at work, is it because they have a natural tendency to focus on the superficial, or does their particular office culture suggest that a woman's advancement is based in part on her appearance? Shouldn't we be raising these questions as well?
What do you think? Do you feel like women are impacted by feelings of jealousy in the workplace? If so, what should be done about it?
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Having said that, I've actually found the opposite of what this article describes in my workplace. Of course, we've all experienced envy for each other at some point, but the men in my workplace seem to keep to themselves; their lives are their own and their accomplishments are their own, end of story. The women, however, do what they can to help each other have equal ground. I'm not saying that anyone is jumping through hoops to get another woman promoted, but they're certainly concerned about making sure everyone has equal opportunity. I feel like the men are more likely to say "Everyone for his/herself" while the women are more likely to say "Maybe we can help each other out".
It certainly put working with the boys in an entirely new light. Men (there are exceptions if they are insecure) will welcome talent and good skills because it is good for the job and project.They do respect someone who knows what they are doing and welcome it.Women will be threatened and then react to you from a place of insecurity and simply "attack". Yeah, it can get ugly.
I have made a couple great friendships with female colleagues in Architecture and I cherish these friendships.
That is shockingly rare.
Only with honest dialogue can real change happen.
A woman is a very reserved creature who perceives herself and the world inside her. While between men there is interaction, support, and readiness to sacrifice for others, this does not exist between women initially, by nature. Every female, every woman, anything female is designed to exist on her own, protect her boundaries, children, household, den, and so on.
This is instilled in them by nature, and this is why we must not deform it. We have no right to break the woman’s nature; on the contrary, we have to develop it harmoniously, and at the same time integrate women with each other. How can you accomplish this?
When a woman tries to establish contact with another woman, she should clearly see what they have in common with each other, what mutually ties them together. It isn’t just some junction, but a common emotional, physical, social, and cultural realm where they don’t simply touch but as if overlay over one another. This way, feelings of jealousy and envy can be turned into goodness- by using them only in order to improve oneself.
They say that there is a woman behind every successful man, and this is really true. Every woman has this power. This truth can be a unifying force for all women whether she is a wife, mother, sister or a friend.
If someone is smarter, better looking, stronger, etc... I came to the realization that nobody is smart. Only God is smart, and He's lending His intelligence to someone. Better looking? God has lent someone His beauty. Stronger? God has lent someone His strength.
This has protected me from envy/jealousy most of my life.
I personally do but many will not process this in the same way. I think it can be extended to say that all we are our talents and gifts are from God so we can't really take the credit for them.It's humbling
I was trying to figure out what to say to include the HP posters who are atheist/agnostic, but I couldn't speak as effectively from that POV. So instead I just relayed what has worked in my personal experience.
It speaks more to how women relate to each other in the work place
jealous/envious female co-workers can be won over, but it takes time, perseverance and a turn-the-other-cheek willingness on the part of the attacked gal. trust me, the gal in question sees it for what it is - both the hateful behaviors, barbs and exclusion meted out by the jealous woman/women AND the lame extra attention some men give them, which can often be very unwelcome. be advised, though, looks, charm, u-call-it, can and will be used as needed, so no amount of hatefulness will ever change that reality. the resentful ones would better spend their time working on themselves and/or finding common ground, of which there is always more than less.
feeling sorry for the attacker(s) and intellectualizing their issues helps the attacked gal cope, though no one is ever immune from feeling hurt by any attack, especially when it is undeserved. happily for all, skill/know-how/intellect have a wonderful way of creating the ultimate balance.
What if a girl who loves her life and so still have to deal with jealous females?
Women can tend to be more emotionally involved with co-workers, meaning that their are emotions that develop as associated with business relationships. My best boss ever was a woman but I have had difficulty with women co-workers who tend to dramatize the day's events. I know men who do this also but not as commonly.
As Good as it Gets. Attractive women advance because they are works of Art and are appreciated.
As old as time itself. There is no excuse for an ugly Woman ! Who said that ?