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Emma Ruby-Sachs

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It Gets Better, But No Thanks To You, President Obama

Posted: 10/25/10 08:35 AM ET

Recently, the President of the United States released a video as part of the It Gets Better series that spoke to the trials of bullying and the importance of reaching out for help. The problem is, young gay kids -- the target of It Gets Better -- are learning about their worthlessness from the actions of the President's office.

Obama's video was an addition to a larger popular project where people from across the world create short videos with messages of hope for young gay kids who might be thinking of taking their own life. The idea is to communicate the inherent worth of each kid's life, even if they feel different, even if they are tortured at school and especially if they are gay. The reason we need this kind of international movement of support for gay kids is because society tells them and their friends, in all sorts of ways, that being gay means you are worth less.

One important way kids might learn that being a fa**ot is way worse than being the kid who can't kick a soccer ball, is that their President is telling them being gay is reason enough to get kicked out of the army. When a court makes the shocking finding that being gay is no reason to bar someone from service in the military, their own President, their government, stands up and publicly objects to the admission of gay soldiers.

That certainly is fodder enough to get the gay kid in fourth grade beaten up when he tries to join in the recess snowball fight. After all, gay soldiers hurt troop morale and threaten our national security.

The defense of DADT by the federal government is just one example of President Obama's insistence on defending each and every court finding that threatens the exclusion of LGBT Americans from legal equality in this country. Now, I understand the argument that forcing equality through the courts is unsustainable and that legislative moves towards equal rights are most desirable. I understand these arguments even as I know they, historically, have proven to be ineffective, not to mention slow and insulting.

But it doesn't matter if Obama's approach is politically correct.

Every time his administration stands up and defends an offensive and bigoted law, he sends a message across the country and the world that being gay is a weakness, a problem and a reason to be treated with less respect than everybody else. He tells families and their children that disdain and abuse towards gay people is just fine.

He's the one telling gay kids they're just not good enough.

Is it any wonder so many are contemplating taking their own life when they live in a country that clearly does not value their existence?


 

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06:19 PM on 11/21/2010
Or are we not allowed to disagree with authors?
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03:37 PM on 11/19/2010
Any reporter or journalist that continues to promote needless rhetoric like "gay rights", "gay pride", "gay bullying", "gay teens", "gays in the military", "gay advocacy", "gay politics", "gay marriage", "gay suicide" (or any other propaganda with similar phraseology; e.g. "gay this and gay that"), needs to be shipped back to the 1970s when civil rights truly was "all about gay". However, this is 2010. As an LGBT activist, I am passionate about promoting equality and acceptance for all youth who identify as LGBPQA -- and that can only start when we acknowledge that sexuality and sexual expression is not confined to ONLY straight or gay people. If we discriminate within our own Queer space and deny true inclusivity, what are we to expect from the heteronormative community at large? It certainly does get better, but no thanks to your article.
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08:42 PM on 11/18/2010
Any reporter or journalist that continues to promote needless rhetoric like "gay rights", "gay pride", "gay bullying", "gay teens", "gay advocacy", "gay politics", "gay marriage", "gay suicide" (or any other propaganda with similar phraseology; e.g. "gay this and gay that"), needs to be shipped back to the 1970s when civil rights truly was "all about gay." However, this is 2010. As an LGBT activist, I am passionate about promoting equality and acceptance for all youth who identify as LGBPQA -- and that can only start when we acknowledge that sexuality and sexual expression is not confined to ONLY straight or gay people. If we discriminate within our own Queer space and deny true inclusivity, what are we to expect from the heteronormative community at large? It certainly does get better, but no thanks to your article.

Randall Krause
HelpStopHate Campaign
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aviandonn
My micro-bio is empty
06:53 PM on 11/13/2010
I don't care how much he double talks and gives lip service to equality for the GLBT community. His behavior and actions aren't very different from those anti-gay politicians who want to deny gays equal rights, equal protection and equal treatment. Half-hearted statements about supporting gay rights don't make up for his actions.
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06:21 PM on 11/21/2010
Perhaps it isn't always about gay people, but an entire community?
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06:24 PM on 11/21/2010
That is LGBT people as a whole
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Douglas Campbell
10:54 AM on 10/30/2010
Well said.
02:53 PM on 10/28/2010
Good reach.
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forkuu
terrible typist-no patience- no political party
06:40 AM on 10/28/2010
lets just vote him out and try some one else. with increased voting numbers and a feeling of betrayal i think its time the obama lying train is stopped
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CateManhattan
Common sense is way too uncommon.
05:18 AM on 11/24/2010
GOP will be better for y'all??? LOL!!!!!! Keep dreaming.
08:51 PM on 10/27/2010
When Obama wanted the gay vote he sure made it sound like he intended to get rid of DADT. And we threw our support behind him with all our hearts. Now, not only is he not doing anything to rid us of DADT he is actively defending the ridiculous merits of this policy. I am not blaming Obama for any of our gay problems. He didn't create them. But he did lose my trust. Don't come knocking on my door again.
06:37 PM on 10/26/2010
the man just got into office and now hate against the gays is his problem ...blaming the black man for the problems of culture and politics in america...how shameless...oh by the way code word ofa bigot you don't want to have a reason to give this black man some credit for the success he has done...jump on Clinton for he offered up the gays on the dadt thang...no reason to respect a black man give me a break...next time pass a mirror look in it and see what the reason for a delay in advancement it is you..give me a break...where was your mouth 10 years ago...
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cheryl tobin
Alpha Dog with my pack!
12:06 PM on 10/27/2010
What's with this Obama is a black man stuff? He is half white in case you didn't know!
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nikanj
free the fnords
10:09 AM on 10/28/2010
He self-identifies as black.
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Douglas Campbell
03:14 AM on 11/01/2010
1. what does black have to do with it?
2. Clinton is not the president, so I assume thats why Obama is taking more heat than him, BUT, and judging by your whacka doo level, you were too young to remember this DADT was an IMPROVEMENT and a COMPROMISE over what previously existed.
3. the rest is all jibberish. I dont know what you are thinking....but you are messed up
05:22 PM on 10/26/2010
How would you like to be a heterosexual boy that is suicidal but not gay ? Consider that 80% of teen suicides are boys, most of whom are not gay......but yet they are completely ignored.
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Douglas Campbell
03:16 AM on 11/01/2010
That is true, and worth serious action and thought, however, are you saying this because you think gays are stealing the spotlight that they dont deserve?
05:12 PM on 10/26/2010
As the Founding General Counsel ( 1972) of the Gay Activists Alliance, Inc., I absolutely refuse to believe that President Obama could not get rid of Dont Ask Dont Tell with a stroke of the pen. Harry Truman did it for HIS people. Why the hell can't he just DO IT FOR MINE????? And I am straight. But I spent 35 years in the LGBT rights movement, and like all of you I have gays in the family. I will never vote for him again. I am so sorry I cancelled my wife's vote for Hillary you have no idea. But then again she voted for Mike Bloomberg and I cancelled out her vote I am proud to say. So is he, today, since he is now against more than two terms in office...... for the rest of us.
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forkuu
terrible typist-no patience- no political party
06:42 AM on 10/28/2010
hard lessons learned . politicians play the voters.
02:37 PM on 10/26/2010
If you are part of the LGBT crowd, you can: 1) Vote Democrat, your issues will eventually move forward; 2) Vote 3rd party, allow Republicans to win, your issues will move backward; 3) Be a log cabin republican; be disrespected for being a sucker, and your issues move backward; 4) Don't vote, cast your chances to the wind.

Your issues have moved nowhere for centuries, and then President Obama happens and you expect magic will turn the world immediately in your favor; pleasant dreams, unaffected by reality.
05:15 PM on 10/26/2010
Listen BlueBoomer.... there is no magic in doing the right thing. I hear this litany every time the Democrats screw me and show me profiles in cowardice. I am no big fan of the Democrats supporting the war in Afghanistan. Try, just try to remember where Osama Bin Laden came from. We nurtured him, gave him millions of dollars, and taught him how to be a good insurgent.... as long as he was insurging against the Soviet Union. Yeah. Remember the poem......" came back from the ride with the lady inside, and the smile on the face of the tiger. "Nuts to you, and the Democrats too.
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rialb309
Free your mind and your ass will follow.
12:11 PM on 10/26/2010
Disaffected LBGT's can always join the ranks of the Log Cabin repugs if they feel Obama's efforts aren't satisfactory. I'm sure a republican led government will serve you well ...that is, right after the successful completion of mandatory counseling and therapy designed to un-gay you. This griping is so perplexingly unsettling. If folks would just show some patience and chill, the reforms will come soon enough.
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Douglas Campbell
10:59 AM on 10/30/2010
Your message is completely insulting and offensive. Basically you are saying LGBT have no other option other than Obama, who is working against LGBT right, but not as aggressively as a Republican would.
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RobinJoJo
10:40 AM on 10/26/2010
Oh get over YOURSELVES!!! Obama is not to blame for everything. This is just tiring.
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Douglas Campbell
11:02 AM on 10/30/2010
Get over ourselves? You mean because we want basic human rights, equality and freedom and don't get it by someone who promised if elected he would, that we are to blame for reminding you and Obama of that campaign promise?
09:53 AM on 10/26/2010
There are several problems with this "campaign" but here are two:

1. "It gets better" -- assumes it somehow magically takes care of itself. The passive voice is indicative of too many schools' and communities' attitudes on the problem. WE don't actively take any action to stop the problem of bullying in schools.

2. It implies this is predominently a LBGT problem which does a MAJOR disservice to the issue of bullying as a whole. As I've written recently (http://socialsmarts.wordpress.com/2010/10/06/bullying-its-not-just-for-glbt/) bullying is an equal-opportunity epidemic. If we treat it as just a "special interest" problem, then we are jeopardizing the efforts to stop bullying as a whole. While it IS true that LGBT kids are more likely to be victims of bullying and harassment, the reality is 1 in 4 of ALL kids are victims of some form of school-based violence before they reach High School and if they are ages 12-18, one full THIRD will either be bullied or actually BE the bully.

Don't minimize the problem of bullying by making it sound as though it's the "alternative" problem. That's like saying only Hispanic children suffer from hunger and poverty in this country.

For more discussions on causes, impacts and solutions to bullying join our discussion: http://socialsmarts.wordpress.com/category/bullying-and-school-violence/
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03:30 PM on 11/19/2010
I agree, I was not even bullied in school because I was out of the closet, but because I was a geek. I simply didn't fit in. I wore glasses, I was thin, I was shy. I didn't have very many peers that I could relate to. Teachers didn't pay any attention to the verbal attacks. Middle school was the worst period of my life and not even because of my sexual orientation.