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I Smell A Rat

Posted: 02/20/08 03:50 PM ET

Why do we allow the very rich diet-related and pharmaceutical industries to manipulate us into thinking we are flawed and imperfect? Companies spend gross amounts of money on very persuasive advertising that manipulates women into thinking they need to aspire to the pre-pubescent and unrealistic images of beauty that bombard us in the mass media. This constant assault on our self-esteem has got to stop; and our children are as obsessed with this nonsense as we are. It just isn't right.

I smell a rat; a big stinking rat that doesn't care about the well-being of the women it professes to serve. As long as we continue to turn ourselves inside out in this unattainable quest for impossible perfection by cutting, slicing, sucking, starving, prodding, popping, and stuffing, we will never be truly happy and we will continue to lose our self-identity in the horrible confusion. What a waste of a beautiful natural resource: the mother, the sister, the daughter, the wife, the girlfriend, the aunt, and the grandmother.

So let's use our voices to write letters, submit op-ed pieces, blog, and converse about it. Let's create change at the grass roots level so we don't have to remain "not enough, too much, too small, too big, too round, too old, too bold, or too whatever." The next time an ad or message makes you feel uncomfortable, take note and don't buy the product. Better yet, cite your grievances directly to the offending companies. They NEED to hear from us!

Wake up women! Big business is out to take our well-earned money and they are willing to steamroll our self-esteem for their gain if we let them. Let's get the conversation going. It's time to step up and be heard.

 

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07:30 PM on 02/22/2008
The arguement that these magazines reflect what men want to see is pure advertising. If these magazines are what men want, how come you never see any men buying them? It's well known that us men like looking at pictures of pretty women, and some of us have so little self control that we have to look at such pictures again and again. Yet you never see any man buy Elle, Vogue, or any of the rest. Why not?

The stuff men do look at may be sleazy and nasty, but it's also has more variety. There are porn magazines that have heavy women in them. See, porn is looked at in private, where a guy doesn't have to worry about what his friends, family and coworkers think of him. There's plenty of men who keep their socially unacceptable desires "in the closet" while talking "thin" in public.

Fashion is about conformity, acting fake to look good to your neighbor. These famous stars who marry young thin women are in the public eye more than anyone, so they conform even more than anyone. Don't you remember how the tabloids went nuts when Gerald MacRaney married Delta Burke? If you step out of line you get slammed, and famous people get slammed double.
12:46 PM on 02/22/2008
If that were true, there would be no money spent on advertising, because you are arguing that the drive to buy these products comes from women. In fact, advertisers spend a great deal of money on your salary, ad. time, etc., in order to create and to increase demand. And although some other posters here talk about how a wide variety of men have a wide variety of preferences -- and surely that is true to some extent -- in fact if women did not find that being thin, young and pretty made no difference to most men, they would not be spending lots of money and effort (diets, plastic surgery, etc.) to attract them. Look at who the most attractive (handsome, smart, powerful and/or wealthy, etc.) men tend to prefer as companions and spouses. Rarely do you encounter a man who chooses a woman who is less physically attractive (but smarter or more charming, for example) than he is.

So, let's be honest and admit that there are a lot of factors involved here.
12:44 PM on 02/22/2008
If that were true, there would be no money spent on advertising, because you are arguing that the drive to buy these products comes from women. In fact, advertisers spend a great deal of money on your salary, ad. time, etc., in order to create and to increase demand. And although some other posters here talk about how a wide variety of men have a wide variety of preferences -- and surely that is true to some extent -- in fact if women did not find that being thin, young and pretty made no difference to most men, they would not be spending lots of money to attract them. Look at who the most attractive (handsome, smart, powerful and/or wealthy, etc.) men tend to prefer as companions and spouses. Rarely do you encounter a man who is less physically attractive (but smarter or more charming, for example) than he is.

So, let's be honest and admit that there are a lot of factors involved here.
09:36 AM on 02/22/2008
I work in advertising, and while i have nothing to do with advertising fashion, the marketing tactic is evident:
Make the ideal of beauty unattainable, and the money will never stop pouring in from those desperate to reach it.

Myself and most of the men that i know actually find the "tall and emaciated" look rather unattractive.
08:55 AM on 02/22/2008
The old lament that nobody appreciates my inner beauty is sad and tired. Incidentally, evolutionary psychology is discovering that some beauty is indeed on the outside and mcoomon to all humans...it's called biophilia and social engineering efforts to disuade us are doomed to fail and create more unhappiness. luxorinlasvegas.com
09:23 PM on 02/21/2008
In physical therapy, the overused muscle hurts, but it's the underused muscle that is causing the problem. It's true in real life too. There's two ways to meet someone you like. One is to make yourself pretty and hope they notice you enough to talk to you. Another is to actually go over to them to talk to them. If you only concentrate on one way you're going to go way overboard.

Besides, a lot of this has more to do with fanatical conformity than looks. "In fashion" means "looking like everyone else", not "looking good".
03:51 PM on 02/21/2008
"Why do we allow the very rich diet-related and pharmaceutical industries to manipulate us into thinking we are flawed and imperfect?"

I don't.
02:33 PM on 02/21/2008
"a stupid, loutish husband/father, a wise and intelligent mother, and a couple of cute, wisecracking kids?"

Not arguing your point, SPPP, but you can't throw my man Peter Griffin in that mix. Lois has lots of weaknesses, the kids are Dumb, Dumber & Satan and even the dog is an alcoholic sex maniac. Family Guy's characters are so attractive because they're like Everybody Loves Raymond's characters: they're ALL nuts!
01:20 PM on 02/21/2008
I think everyone with a typical human experience is capable of understanding beauty residing both inside and outside. If one is foolish enough to be convinced by advetising to value more the superficial or tangential rather than the substantive, well, they are fools, and if advertising didn't rip 'em off, no doubt they'd probably be foolish enough to toss it away on some other foolish enterprise...and maybe they'd learn a lesson they could absorb in the process, who knows? But the old lament that nobody appreciates my inner beauty is sad and tired. Incidentally, evolutionary psychology is discovering that some beauty is indeed on the outside and mcoomon to all humans...it's called biophilia and social engineering efforts to disuade us are doomed to fail and create more unhappiness.
But, then again, part of the hyper-reflexive human brain space, is the occasional result of finding beauty in unusual places and circumstance.
Nevertheless, there is nothing about which to be embarrassed by enjoying the sight of someone sexually alluring who is fit and filled with happiness and potential. What that is to you is what taste is all about, and each to their own.
12:50 PM on 02/21/2008
It's called "Madison Avenue" and not only women are affected. Where have you been for the last fifty years?
01:58 PM on 02/21/2008
That is what I was thinking.
12:43 PM on 02/21/2008
Advertising is disgusting, but it behooves every one of us to learn to ignore it. Men are bombarded also.
01:18 PM on 02/21/2008
What about MSM? How many typical sitcoms depict a stupid, loutish husband/father, a wise and intelligent mother, and a couple of cute, wisecracking kids? While y'all might be upset about Cosmo, consider the abuse the American male gets in the media. Homer Simpson, Peter Griffen, even Heathcliff Huxtable was the butt of every joke.
12:42 PM on 02/21/2008
When I was in my teens and early 20's I did not care what a woman looked like on the out side it was the heart and mind that attracted me. True beauty comes from the inside not from what is put on the out side. 1776
01:16 PM on 02/21/2008
Yeah, yeah, yeah -- but what is the point of "true beauty"?
05:13 PM on 02/21/2008
sicko; A caring intelligent person that can carry on a meaningful conversation is far more beautiful than a superficial ass that only cares about looks and social acceptance. The most " beautiful " person in the world that cares only about themselves is in fact very ugly. Grow up . 1776
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11:46 AM on 02/21/2008
Pure marketing to women's competition for men. It's been going on forever. I have a very old copy of LIFE magazine and most, if not all the ads go something like this... "every engaged girl uses X cream".... "Want the man of your dreams to propose?..." Sure ads aren't as direct now.... but women's natural instinct to attract men will always be there. Unfortunately, with the era of airbrushing, breast implants, and computer touch-ups... we have long ago lost the meaning of natural beauty. I'm not quite sure anyone knows what that is these days.

Women do attack each other.... and become more ruthless every day. Recently, I received an e-mail saying "it's beautiful women's month" in the subject line... the body of the e has a picture of Marilyn and a sentence followed..."did you know Marilyn was a size 14?" Great!.. I thought. A plus for women accepting their bodies.... until I continued reading... "did you know she also had bad hygiene?" I went ballistic... I did. I responded to ALL the people it was sent to, pointing out the destructive message hidden within the "complement".... most of the women just didn't get it...but i never got a mixed message e again.

You can all start by turning off the TV or just not watching any Hollywood crap, and throwing out ALL of your fashion/beauty magazines. Sure worked for me.
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Counterglow
Werner Heisenberg may have been right.
11:26 AM on 02/21/2008
Thank you, thank you, thank you for not trying to blame this evil mess on men and their allegedly unrealistic view of what characterizes a desirable woman.

Over the years, I've found that the preferences of average, everyday guys range from rake-thin/boyish to morbidly overweight, and include everything else in between.

And I'll go on the record right now and say the sexiest woman I've ever been around was a long way from the most physically attractive. And it wasn't just me who thought so, either. I swear she could conjure an adoring male (or several) from the middle of an empty desert island.
10:23 AM on 02/21/2008
You people make me giggle.

I work in advertising. For a "big corporation". Run, more or less, by women. Women buy our products. Women want our products. If we stopped selling our products, women would be very upset. It doesn't matter what our product is, the fact is that it is driven by a market. Remove the impetus for the market, and you remove the "problem".

I see articles like this, and I just sigh and shake my head, and, occasionally, giggle. As one of the posters below (above? elsewhere?) mentioned, women do this for other women, not for men. The competitive drive in women is fierce, and a lot more subtle than the basic pissing contests that men indulge in.

Example: In any given business meeting of female corporate executives, just about every woman there can identify by style and designer, the outfits, shoes, and cosmetics of everyone else in the room. Men? "Nice tie." I've worked in female-dominated fields all of my life, and the company, organization, or business model doesn't matter: women judge each other harshly. Not men, women. They compete in brutal and (to men) frighteningly ugly ways.

Before you go blaming "big business" for your poor self image (because it's easier to blame a faceless corporation than indulge in a little honest introspection) go a month without any perfume, cosmetics, make-up, or hair styling products. Ditch anything with a label in favor of basic sweats. Every day. See what it is like to be judged on your appearance armed with just what Nature granted you. Watch how your co-workers, friends, family, spouses, children, and neighbors judge you. Men will likely walk right past you, oblivious. It is your "sisters" who will judge you the most harshly.
11:04 AM on 02/21/2008
Good point.
12:01 PM on 02/21/2008
A simplistic answer. It doesn't have to be either/or. It is not a choice between designer labels and sweat pants. You can present yourself very well in simple, clean, inexpensive & stylish clothing and wear a minimum of make-up and still look great. If your friends, co-workers judge you because you don't wear designer clothes and expensive perfume, then maybe you need new friends.
01:13 PM on 02/21/2008
But that misses the point -- "stylish" clothing is still advertised, still designed for the insecure woman. Just because it's inexpensive, it doesn't escape marketing. And make-up and all cosmetics have no other purpose than to make you appear more attractive. It's a simplistic answer because the original article was simplistic: "WOMAN=GOOD! EVIL MENS ADVERTISING=BAD!". Any compromise on it ruins the argument.