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Engy Abdelkader

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What Do Muslim Women Do for Fun?

Posted: 11/11/11 03:34 PM ET

Fun.

It means different things to different folks.

But how about Muslim women, particularly those who wear the headscarf -- what does fun mean to them?

About a month ago, I threw out the following question to practicing Muslims in America: "What do you like to do for fun?" And, here's what I heard -- well, actually, read via email -- in response from the women (in their own words):

  • Sahar (32, NY): I love to get pedicures, go on sushi dates with my best friend and love to bake cakes!!
  • Hala (32, NJ): I have a passion for cooking, and love to try new foods. I love good music -- definitely have a soft spot for stuff from the '80s and '90s. I love traveling, although it's difficult now that I have three small children, and I love reading (memoirs and mystery/suspense type novels mostly). I also find writing a great expressive outlet and very relaxing, and so ... I have a blog :).
  • Hafeza (30, N.J.): I'm a cardiologist and my husband and I spend our spare time taking the kids to Philly for restaurants, shopping in New Jersey or going to New York for a Yankees game.
  • Hebatallah (28, Wash.): Spending family time in the park, reading novels; volunteering to help the environment as much as possible; and enjoying a good laugh :)
  • Mona (32, N.J.): I like to travel, get together with old friends (doesn't happen as much as I'd like) and catch up with each other, get massages and other spa treatments regularly for relaxation and mental wellness during "me" time, read, keep a drawing tablet and paint if I find the chance. I also love to sled with my children in the snow and will attempt teaching them to ski this year. I love to write stories, poems and songs for fun, and share and sing them with my kiddos.
  • Jabeen (27, N.J.): I enjoy simple pleasures like watching a good movie, cooking at home, or taking a picnic. Being very social, I'm always ready for a dinner out with my friends, sightseeing or even just hanging out and talking or playing video games together.
  • Sana (29, N.J.): In my free time I love watching movies inspired by the writings of Jane Austen with both my sisters. From Emma to Pride and Prejudice and so on I love being able to sit back on our mom's cozy couch with a few snacks and watch Austen weave her magic. The sarcasm, humor, time period, costumes and love stories are so enchanting that you can't help but be drawn in.
  • Shenaz (24, Calif.): I have my own blog, and like to write my weird/funny/original, not always Islamic reflections on it :) I also like to write snail mail to my friends. I also like running! and i like reading poetry :)
  • Naila (30, Pa.): I love to travel around the world and see different countries and their cultures. My family also goes on camping trips almost every summer. I am into many forms of art such as interior design, photography and painting. And can't forget reading novels and watching movies (especially period dramas).
  • Nazia (31, Mass.): I like to spend time with family and friends as much as I can participating in activities ranging from shopping and dinner out to hiking and kayaking. I also enjoy having people over, cooking dinner or ordering pizza, and watching a movie or playing board games. Personally, I also enjoy working out, practicing yoga, and getting monthly facials and the occasional massage.

I guess girls do just want to have fun (headscarf notwithstanding).

 
 
 
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This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
07:41 PM on 11/20/2011
BTW, notice that the findings of feminist standpoint theory would contradict the opinion/theory of altoplano.

Feminist standpoint theory suggests that, although powerful discourses attempt to define women on the “margins” of society, women's cultural positions provide them with heightened understand­ings of the contradict­ions between their experience­s and the ways the dominant group defines them. Thus, while many Americans believe hijab—also called a “veil” or “headscarf­”—function­s to oppress women, veiled women probably possess alternativ­e understand­ings.

And yes they are both theories (definition of theory: A supposition intended to explain something. I'm pretty sure altoplano's opinion is trying to explain something, namely why women wear hijab. And in case supposition is too ambiguous, let's define that word. Supposition: an uncertain belief. Sounds a lot like an opinion. That is, an opinion that intends to explain something is a theory. Or I suppose some just use their own definitions of words.
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07:37 PM on 11/20/2011
Another study with in depth interviews, more details coming, remember some people contend EVERY woman who wears hijab is coerced physically or essentially mentally (akin to a domestic abuse victim): Let's see if these findings by Rachel Anderson Droogsma from in depth personal interviews with 13 American Muslim women seems to duplicate this view:

"Feminist standpoint theory suggests that, although powerful discourses attempt to define women on the “margins” of society, women's cultural positions provide them with heightened understandings of the contradictions between their experiences and the ways the dominant group defines them. Thus, while many Americans believe hijab—also called a “veil” or “headscarf”—functions to oppress women, veiled women probably possess alternative understandings. In this study, 13 veiled American Muslim women share their experiences, and under the lens of standpoint theory, the participants’ definition of hijab emerges. Specifically, the women inscribe hijab with meanings shaped by their unique cultural standpoints. Hijab functions to define Muslim identity, perform a behavior check, resist sexual objectification, afford more respect, preserve intimate relationships, and provide freedom."

Interesting, this psychological researcher states, "Thus, while many Americans believe hijab—also called a “veil” or “headscarf”—functions to oppress women, veiled women probably possess alternative understandings."

and

"Hijab functions to define Muslim identity, perform a behavior check, resist sexual objectification, afford more respect, preserve intimate relationships, and provide freedom."

I'm getting ready to send an email to our favorite HP blogger... I hope to see all of this data in an article
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06:57 PM on 11/20/2011
Here's another quote from a published research paper regarding motivations driving women to wear and NOT wear the hijab in the US (and don't worry there are bunch more coming, so get your excuses ready):
"The important point is that young women who wear hijab and jilbab interpret (Koranic) passages as requiring covering, and act accordingly (518). Additionally, many young Muslim women find covering a comfort in mixed-sex settings. The following quote is illustrative: I lived in a co-ed dorm and it was really the first time I had to deal with unwanted attention from guys. I guess that was the first time I really understood why it was necessary to wear a scarf, because as soon as I did, all the idiots
left me alone (518). Others use hijab to rebel against their parents (519). In any case, they find that young women took up the hijab voluntarily. Alternatively, they found that sometimes women gave up wearing hijab because of pressure from friends, family, schoolmates, or coworkers (519); a generation gap also exists, as young adult women react strongly, and negatively, to younger women's choice to wear hijab (520)."

Let's repeat cause not all of us read well: "In any case, they find that young women took up the hijab voluntarily." I wonder how they came up to this conclusion without exploring whether coercion was a motivation... oh wait they did. Oh my, more quotes. Please get your excuses warmed up.
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01:03 PM on 11/20/2011
"Studies in the United States and other Western countries suggest that Muslim women wear the hijab to reflect a Muslim identity, for social reinforcem­ent from friends and family, to gain esteem or respect, and as a sense of religious duty (Ali, 2005; Bouma & Brace-Gova­n, 2000; Cole & Ahmadi, 2003; Droogsma, 2007; Read & Bartkowski­, 2000; Ruby, 2006; Williams & Vashi, 2007)." So far, I have yet to see any studies that anyone else has with references as to other explanations (i.e., theories). The study of a behavior and the explanation to that behavior is a theory. It maybe an opinion as well, but being an opinion is not mutually exclusive of being a theory. Whatever you respond, I know one thing. I have cited studies, you may cite their limitations, but what you cannot cite, is an actual STUDY that supports you theory/opinion.
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04:48 PM on 11/19/2011
Theories require evidence to be credible. Explanations as to why a person behaves in a specific way are de facto theories. Some have a theory as to why millions of people behave in a certain way, but not a shred of data to support it. Further, they believe the accounts of women ought to be discounted solely based on the garments they are wearing. Much like those who are ignorant and weigh a woman's statement based on her lack of garments, some would like to say too many garments indicate that a woman's testimony, her opinions, her voice should be disregarded as mere thoughtless ramblings without volition or value. I say such views are ignorant.
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10:50 PM on 11/19/2011
I'm not sure whose views you are referring to, but as a general point, you're wrong.

An opinion is merely a belief or judgment about something. An informed opinion can be based on credible sources and relevant data.

Anybody can hold an opinion about anything, regardless of what you say is on- or off-limits. It sounds like you're attempting to redefine words to suit your own agenda.
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12:59 PM on 11/20/2011
An opinion as to why the sun rises from the east is allowed, but it is de facto a theory. Take a philosophy class or look up the word epistemology. It is amazing that the ignorant have so much to say, under the cloak of 'opinions'. Look up the word psychology in a dictionary: The scientific study of the human mind and its functions, esp. those affecting behavior in a given context. Wearing hijab in a behavior. An opinion that seeks to explain why people wear hijab is a psychologic theory. To state otherwise is to wallow in ignorance. But then again, that seems to your specialty.
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06:38 PM on 11/18/2011
"Purdah exists because Islam views women as so sinful and beguiling that the mere sight of one can lead men astray. That is what the "modesty" of the hijab is about. It is sexist to its very core and we should remember that every time we see someone wearing one. That a woman is wearing it of her own volition makes no difference­. Such a woman is only buying into what purdah says about her. " --BurtonDesque

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/17/all-american-muslim-hijab-episode_n_1100378.html
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08:19 PM on 11/18/2011
Hehe, cute, quoting another HP poster in response to peer reviewed publications in academic journals from PhD psychologists. On one side we have peer reviewed publications from respected academics on the other we have a blog comment from a 'BurtonDesque'.... Um, does this 'BurtonDesque' have a PhD... formal training... qualifications?

The need to pull quotes from random people rather than real data is a nice touch. You asked for data, I supplied far more than you (since you have no published, peer review data at all) and it contradicts your theory in Western muslims. Of course, I forgot, you only pay attention to data when it supports your view, correct? When you have no data and the only data out there by PhD researchers contradict your view, then you don't believe it.

When you want to quote statistics on FGM and honor killings, then you believe it without question. I didn't say your FGM data was suspect, I took it for face value and countered that Muslims committing those acts were violating their religion and acting ignorantly and causing harm and provided data that FGM is not based in Islamic theology. But I guess you take a different approach: data that supports your views are obviously correct, and data that contradict you are wrong.

Curious, when did you get your tea party, anti-intellectual, I prefer my opinions to any ideas from researchers member card? Hope it has a large credit line, you've used it up.
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09:31 PM on 11/18/2011
It was a well written quote and I thought it was appropriate for this story. I knew you'd enjoy it. Since when do you need a PhD to post an opinion here? That's the thing with comment forums like this: you get the good with the bad. People with PhDs can post garbage and people with no credentials at all can post gems. It's acumen laid bare.

By the way, what is your obsession with PhDs? Perhaps a frustrated aspiration? No worry, though, you still have your law career to fall back on. In any case, I guess you're not much for democracy.

As for data, I'm always interested in seeing relevant data to help me form my opinion. However, I'm not interested in the irrelevant data you push in your desperate attempt to prove your point.

And by the way, I'm about as far from the Tea Party as you could get. In fact, I consider myself a liberal, just not a misguided one. On that note where did you acquire your earnest moral and cultural relativism?
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07:57 PM on 11/21/2011
Islam for the ignorant posters, holds women in a very high esteem. It requires men and woman to be modest in their attire to show respect for themselves, each other, and for their creator. It is not sexist for a woman to hide her cleavage! It is sexist when a woman is forced to do so to gain attention from men.

Yes men are sexual beings and they tend to dehumanize women when they see them in skimpy clothe!

"Sexy women in bikinis really do inspire some men to see them as objects, according to a new study of male behavior."

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2009/02/090216-bikinis-women-men-objects.html

Islam appears effectively dealing with these type of social issues in a very positive way!
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11:14 AM on 11/16/2011
Everyone is entitled to voice their opinion, however, I do notice that the detractors have failed to address the issues of 1) does anyone truly have free will (see post about being raised by wolves), 2) how the headscarf is identity concealing (see post quoting dictionary) 3) and why are there any dress codes at all in a society and why are they different for men/women in the US? In addition, people like altoplano may wish to address how far you are willing to go to enforce your goal of avoiding wardrobe based oppression. Are you willing to be repressive and oppressive and force women not to wear the head scarf even if they clearly want to? How much force are you willing to use? Pray tell. Finally, since the main detractors purport to support Muslim women, please deliver a cogent argument on how opposing an article that essentially states Muslim women are humans like the rest of us, even if they wear hijab furthers your goals? You have the right to speak, but I wonder if your desire is that muslim women who freely wear the hijab have no voice at all? Would you prefer they never speak or write about their common goals, activities, etc? Or only limit themselves to issues of repression/oppression among muslims and become limited in their discourse and thoughts? Shall you repress them in order to save them from the oppression and repression you perceive?
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03:49 PM on 11/18/2011
Here's some interesting DATA: "Studies in the United States and other Western countries suggest that Muslim women wear the hijab to reflect a Muslim identity, for social reinforcement from friends and family, to gain esteem or respect, and as a sense of religious duty (Ali, 2005; Bouma & Brace-Govan, 2000; Cole & Ahmadi, 2003; Droogsma, 2007; Read & Bartkowski, 2000; Ruby, 2006; Williams & Vashi, 2007). Pertinent to sexual objectification, Muslim women’s reasons for wearing the hijab also include that it is a mechanism for protecting against harassment and the male sexual gaze, for moving more freely in a sexist society, and for asserting oneself as a human being as opposed to a sexual object (Ali, 2005; Bouma & BraceGovan, 2000; Droogsma, 2007; Read & Bartkowski, 2000; Ruby, 2006). Indeed, Afshar (2000) demonstrated that for some women the hijab allows them to “claim the gaze and to become the ones who observe the world” (p. 531).
All from the published article: U.S. Muslim Women and Body Image: Links Among Objectification
Theory Constructs and the Hijab by Tolaymat and Moradi. In the journal of counseling psychology. That would be ACADEMIC data. Interesting, your circular theory wasn't discussed but there's a few more interesting points about the positive aspects of hijab the authors noted that I'll be posting. I hope you have a rebuttal against academic findings by PhD psychology researchers (and they aren't bright enough to discover your theory will be considered "weak").
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05:36 PM on 11/18/2011
Oh, one more point: it's not a theory, it's an opinion.
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11:06 PM on 11/18/2011
Wait a minute. Did I see coercion as one of the reasons? No, thought not.
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04:12 PM on 11/18/2011
More academic data:
"Surprisingly limited data speak to the potential link between the hijab and body image variables. Two recent studies address this gap. First, in a sample of Australian Muslim women, modesty of dress was found to correlate negatively, whereas media consumption and tendency toward physical appearance comparison were found to correlate positively with body image and eating problems; these links were observed above and beyond level of religiosity, and level of religiosity was not associated uniquely with the criterion variables (Mussap,2009). In another study, a series of group comparisons involving U.S. Muslim and non-Muslim women—categorized into groups by age (younger and older), type of dress (Western or nonWestern), and veiling (with veil or no veil)—were conducted to examine differences on body image criterion variables (Dunkel, Davidson, & Qurashi, 2010). The pattern of findings across multiple comparisons suggested that relative to Western dressers, non-Western dressers reported lower drive for thinness, appearance pressures, and internalization of dominant cultural standards of beauty. This pattern was more consistent among younger women than among older women, and the pattern was
unchanged when body mass index (BMI) was controlled. Taken together, these two studies suggest that in Western countries, Muslim women’s Islamic or non-Western dress is associated with lower body image problems, and this link is independent of religiosity and BMI. It is important to note that these studies investigate the hijab from the perspectives of women who are likely to have greater volition in wearing the hijab."
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04:22 PM on 11/18/2011
Alto, I'm sorry but I can't find your circular theory on hijab in these papers. But don't worry, there's more interesting data, I haven't actually told you what this 3rd study found yet.
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04:32 PM on 11/18/2011
the third study tested the following competing hypotheses: "Conceptualizations of the hijab as a marker of sexual objectification suggested a positive relation between the hijab and sexual objectification, whereas conceptualizations of the hijab as affording freedom from sexual objectification suggested a negative relation between the hijab and sexual objectification experiences. We examined the relation between wearing the hijab and sexual objectification experiences to test these two competing hypotheses." I'm guessing you know where I'm going with this.

I'm planning to send the results to our favorite HP blogger as well, I hope she will write an article about it. How interesting and illuminating research is.
01:24 AM on 11/16/2011
If I can quote Jermaine Stewart, "We don't have to take our clothes off, to have a good time, oh no...."
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11:57 AM on 11/16/2011
Nobody is talking about taking their clothes off.

What you are really saying is that you consider women who don't wear an identity-concealing garment to be morally suspect, not because of their actions, but merely because they are women.
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01:39 PM on 11/16/2011
@alto: you seem to make HUGE leaps of logic... I'm not sure where all the baggage is from, but clearly you have something that makes you perceive 3 extra statements/assumptions when none were made. Surely, others have pointed this out before (but I assume you've deduced that they are wrong as you cannot be).
05:27 PM on 11/16/2011
Half a century ago I knew, and met, a lot of muslim women. I know that they have similar interests. In fact, in one of my positions I had to take quite a few out to lunches and shopping. They liked nice clothes, although, occasionally, I heard, too bad that when you are young you can not afford such clothes, and when you are older, they do not change much. None of these women ever wore hijab, or headscarves. Women in similar positions now do. Farah Dibah wore nice clothes, a little bit exotic, when she came to the Amstel Hotel for a meeting with bankers, and regal, but not a headscarf, or a hijab. One can dress to cover up, and yet not stand out like a sore thumb in public. Other very conservative women do it all the time. I have seen close up, more than once, how an Islamic (occasionally Orthodox Jewish) swimsuit gets in the way of having a good swim, and my, do they EVER leave long and deep puddles to slide and lip on. How one goes about RUNNING, in a Hijab, is a mystery to me, and doing it, staying alive, in the climate I live in, is even more mysterious. So, Engy Abdelkader, let us know a little more about having fun as a Muslim woman., especially running and swimming with those long swathes of black fabric around one's legs. I have seen it, and it is NO fun.
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05:54 PM on 11/15/2011
Next up from this author: "Why Poor People Should Vote Republican".
07:48 PM on 11/15/2011
Or, "Why Some Fake Liberals Embrace Tea Party Bigotry."
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08:17 PM on 11/15/2011
Self-righteous indignation is never funny. You're going to have to sharpen up your material.
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09:55 PM on 11/15/2011
It seems you are bringing your own baggage to this article. The point of the article, I believe, is to say Muslims who wear the hijab are normal women. Don't make snap judgments based on appearances. Wearing a hijab doesn't preclude you from having fun or enjoying everyday normal things that many other women who don't wear the hijab enjoy.

To you, wearing the hijab is obviously repressive. To me, wearing anything is potentially repressive or liberating depending on the beliefs and intentions of the person wearing it and whether they are being coerced. This article is not attempting to discuss that issue at all.

Your arguments related to that issue are not only unconvincing (any dress code in any environment is in large part arbitrary, yet we don't all walk around naked, and even in the USA men are allowed to be topless but women are generally not). Further, you comments are generally belligerent and disrespectful in attitude towards people you apparently feel are being oppressed. This is akin to a Democratic politician calling poor people who vote for republicans ignorant as though that will convince them to vote for him/her.
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10:17 PM on 11/15/2011
What does it take to convince you? Do you have access to Google? If so, do some research about honor killings and the reasons for them. While you're at it, look for the reasons for FGM and "blame-the-victim" rape cases. Permit me this guidance: they are all rooted in some notion that women are inherently shameful.

If questioning and criticism makes you uncomfortable, though, then perhaps a public forum is not the place for you.
05:47 PM on 11/16/2011
I know a Muslim woman. She is still young. Her family emigrated to the U.S. and she grew up as a regular American kid. Suddenly her father changed. He became devoutly Muslim. Demanded that his daughters wear certain clothing...then he was murdered. I have no idea by whom. I do know this. When I first met her, she was outside of herself. She was on tranquilizers, and she had run out of meds. She then waited on tables in a restaurant. We went out and got her meds from the pharmacy. She was anxious, ill at ease. Today she has to wear clothes in compliance with the same restaurant where she still works, but she is now a manager, so has a few choices. Her hair is twisted into a helmet, full of hairspray. Her clothes are all black, and wide, shapeless. No makeup. I wonder if she is having fun. Does not look like it.
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02:19 PM on 11/15/2011
My headscarf does not stop me from doing anything. In fact, I get to do more because I know the parameters of my life as a hijabi. I don't have to wonder. I shop, ride on roller coasters, laugh at silly things, laugh at anything, eat at restaurants, sing karaoke, go walking, go running, go to work, go to school, loaf, laze, get crazy, go crazy, smile, smile, smile--you know, like other humans.
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05:14 PM on 11/15/2011
What was preventing you from doing those activities before you wore an identity- concealing garment?
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10:13 PM on 11/15/2011
Identity concealing? Fail. Picasa and Facebook use facial recognition software to identify a person and people who try to conceal their identity don't worry about their legs or arms, but rather their face. Only a very small minority of women across the 1.1billion muslims in the world wear a face veil (niqab/burqa) though you see them a lot on TV, mostly in Afghanistan. The hijab is not identity concealing (hence it's accepted in passports, licenses, etc).
01:03 AM on 11/16/2011
Why are you posting on HP if it is concealing your identity? According to you, everyone's identity must exposed.
07:42 PM on 11/15/2011
Have fun enjoy your life. You don't need any of those know-it-alls telling you what to do. Keep smiling. The snark that I have been reading can make a person depressed but with your iman I'm sure it doesn't bother you.
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10:33 PM on 11/13/2011
To those who wonder about being able to take a skinny dip, let me ask, don't women ever feel like walking down a street topless and NOT having men stare or make catcalls or other lewd comments or even being arrested? Men can do it, isn't that inequality?

Why do we sell products by exploiting/objectifyi­ng women's bodies? Why do women have far more eating disorders/body image disorders? Is it the portrayal of women and their bodies in our society? How many women's strip clubs exist? Are these liberating? Lap dances? Prostitution? Where do you draw the line? It's natural for primates and other animals to engage in sexual activities in the open, so should we seek to allow this in our society? Of course, might makes right is also the "natural" law and there is no medical care for animals in the wild, so should we shoot all the doctors to allow natural selection to be unperturbed?

Before you go thinking that what you are doing is natural and free, how much have you already been affected subconsciously by the society you live in and the marketing that surrounds you?

Finally, we don't exactly place strippers/nudists/exhibitionists on a pedestal. So your notion of less clothes being more free and natural and better is logically speaking, false in this country. The important thing is, as many have posted, that people choose what is best for themselves. Isn't that the point of democracy?
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BurtonDesque
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07:58 PM on 11/13/2011
How about you address the human rights of women in Saudi Arabia who'd like to drive around town for fun? Or maybe the human rights of women and girls in Afghanistan who'd like to get an education for fun?

Of course, I can't fathom how your head doesn't explode from the cognitive dissonance of being a human rights attorney and Muslim simultaneously.
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The Knocker
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10:44 PM on 11/13/2011
How about address this in our own backyard:

"Fact #1: 17.6 % of women in the United States have survived a completed or attempted rape. Of these, 21.6% were younger than age 12 when they were first raped, and 32.4% were between the ages of 12 and 17.

Fact #2: 64% of women who reported being raped, physically assaulted, and/or stalked since age 18 were victimized by a current or former husband, cohabiting partner, boyfriend, or date.

Fact #3: Only about half of domestic violence incidents are reported to police. African-American women are more likely than others to report their victimization to police."

Fact #5: In the National Violence Against Women Survey, approximately 25% of women and 8% of men said they were raped and/or physically assaulted by a current or former spouse, cohabiting partner, or date in their lifetimes. The survey estimates that more than 300,000 intimate partner rapes occur each year against women 18 and older.

http://www.feminist.com/antiviolence/facts.html
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BurtonDesque
Fear a Blank Planet
09:53 AM on 11/14/2011
Do you like your red herring broiled, baked or fried?
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07:14 PM on 11/14/2011
Deflection.
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