"Just because you aren't being hit -- doesn't mean you're not being abused."
That's the message behind Sarah Hosseini's new photo essay titled "Unseen Scars." As a survivor of domestic abuse, Hosseini created the series to reveal the emotional trauma that victims are often left with after leaving their abuser.
Although Hosseini's abuser only physically hit her once, she said that he abused her through manipulation, lying and verbally attacking her. The series represents the "unseen scars" that so many survivors of abusive relationships carry, but often go untreated because they're not physical scars.
Hosseini and photographer Melanie Mercogliano created a series of 10 photos featuring Hosseini and her experiences as a survivor. Each image is paired with Hosseini's personal testimony of the everyday struggles she endures over a decade after her abusive relationship.
"I know many women who also suffer with these after effects of abuse -- even if their abuser never physically touched them," Hosseini told The Huffington Post. "The threats are damaging. The manipulation is monstrous."
"Domestic violence can take many forms -- physical abuse, sexual abuse, rape, emotional abuse, intimidation, economic deprivation, threats of violence."
"While physical scars heal, the unseen hurt in a person is what affects them for the rest of their lives," Mercogliano told The Huffington Post. "There is no ER visit where the nurses stitch you up, there are no flowers and presents and there is no therapy afterwards."
Hosseini wanted to capture the trauma of emotional abuse in the same way physical abuse often is illustrated -- through photographs. So she drew from her own experience and created images from the thoughts that run through her head every day.
She said that creating the series was "absolutely therapeutic" as a survivor. "The project gave me power -- power over my abuser, power over my past and power in the dialogue about domestic violence," she said.
Scroll below to read Hosseini's intimate and powerful struggle as a survivor of domestic abuse.
Not long after, he hit me behind the head while I was driving. I reported it to the police at the urging of my mother, but never pressed charges. I was scared. Scared of him. Scared of what kids at school would say about me. And in a sick way, I still loved him. I thought he would stop."
It’s been over a decade since that 'joke.'
I still get tested for HIV every single year since then. Even though I’ve been married for six years. In the back of my mind, I’m always wondering, 'what if he did really have HIV?' 'What if I have it, and the tests aren’t picking it up?'"
In parking lots, or on the street -- my heart quickens whenever I see a man who is the same size and physique as my abuser.
I think for a split second, is it him? Even if it’s highly unlikely, my panic-stricken mind thinks it’s possible."
Including, in my own home.
I triple turn all of the doors in my house after I lock them, to make sure they are locked.
I check and re-check my home security system before bed.
I sleep with my panic alarm remote. It is positioned at the same exact degree and angle every night, so I know even in a sleepy haze, what button to push.
The trauma of emotional abuse and manipulation never leaves you.
You don’t ever get over it.
It is scarred into your psyche. It drives your behavior."
I am running to get away from my abuser. Or I’m running to protect my kids from my abuser.
It’s been 12 years since I’ve seen him.
I am still running."
He was right. Hardly any of my friends did believe me.
I mostly suffered in silence, and shame."
I’ve been fortunate. Through meditation, I’ve learned to self-medicate.
"Yoga, nature, travel and writing are my medication. My therapy. I don’t know if coping will always be manageable for me. But, for now, I do what works best for myself."
But, it might not be enough. The bleak reality is that one in three women have been victims of physical abuse (in some form) in their lifetime. If attitudes towards domestic violence and legislation don’t change -- there is a good chance my own daughters could be victims of domestic violence."
Physical and emotional abuse scar people. Violence, in all forms, is unacceptable. I can’t rewrite the old chapters of abuse and I can’t erase the scars.
But, I can create the new narrative of my life. I can help other victims and survivors write their new narratives too."
Head over to Hosseini and/or Mercogliano's websites to read more about them.
Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) for the National Domestic Violence Hotline or visit the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline operated by RAINN. For more resources, visit the National Sexual Violence Resource Center's website.
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