Life is a work in progress, isn’t it? We learn from our experiences and hopefully, in the later rounds, know which punches to pull. With this in mind, we asked our post-50 women friends what they were looking for in their next mate. What would you add? (A version of this list appeared in 2012.)
1. Makes me laugh ― and laughs at my jokes.
We all like to laugh. We also all like to be thought of as funny. It’s a two-way street.
2. Loves me, loves my dog.
There’s a good chance the dog or cat was there first. We belong to the part of the population that says nobody who is worth anything would ever ask you to abandon a furry family member. Allergies? Well, there’s a pill and shots for that. The compromise may be that Fluffy gets her own bed. But please just don’t make us choose.
3. Doesn’t try to boss my kids around.
Another two-way street, this one. How about nobody bosses anybody and can’t we all just get along? Single parents are a package deal. And even when the kids are young adults, they are still kids.
4. Gets why I cry when I hear “Sunrise, Sunset.”
Because our kids grow up faster than our need to parent them dissipates.
5. Knows “Do these jeans make my butt look big?” is a trick question.
We may not all have the same level of insecurities, but we all certainly have some moments where insecurity steers the ship. And we all want someone who recognizes when we are just feeling down, even on the occasions when we don’t see it ourselves. Yes, we want you to be a mood-reader.
6. Responds with “You color your hair?” every time we say we’re going to have it colored. Every time.
Beauty is on the inside and with this response, we are reminded that we don’t need to worry so much about the outside. We will do that anyway, but nice to know our mate doesn’t really care.
7. Makes me feel loved, but not owned.
We may belong together but we don’t belong to each other. Big difference that one.
8. Understands plumbing, both mine and the sink’s.
Really? You want us to explain?
9. Assumes he is meeting my plane at the airport.
More important, he wants to be there at the gate because being apart is hard. Even before we see our luggage on the carousel, we want to see his eyes.
10. Wants to show me places that he thinks I’ll love and more than half of them aren’t sports stadiums.
Understands that harmony comes from experiencing life together ― but sustained interest is rooted in the ability to bring different things to the table.
11. Would rather hang out with me than the guys, but knows that I’ll miss him more if he goes.
A little space goes a long way.
12. Knows that real men volunteer.
You get more when you give. Be generous.
13. Isn’t a bystander in life.
Be honorable. Don’t lie and pretend you are protecting someone. And above all else, don’t be afraid to put yourself out there.
What are you looking for in your post-50 partner? Comment below!
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