When you first become a parent, you miss the days when you could make it through an entire feature-length film without falling asleep. Later, you miss the days before you could recite entire feature-length films from memory because your child has watched them roughly 1,000 times.
The funny tweets below touch on everything from the usefulness of kids’ movies as distraction techniques to the gaping plot holes that jump out at you to the just plain funny stuff you notice after too many repeat viewings.
Read on for our favorite tweets you’ll relate to if you’ve spent way too much time watching kids’ movies.
Watching "Frozen" again with my daughter because we paid $19.99 to download it so she's going to fucking watch it every day until college.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) March 9, 2014
4yo:Mom I can't get my Buzz down (from shelf) & M can't find his Woody. Very funny Disney/Pixar the jokes on us. I get it I really do.
— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) March 7, 2013
Refuse 👏 to 👏 see 👏 Cars 👏 3 👏 unless 👏 they 👏finally 👏 explain 👏 why 👏 the 👏 windshields 👏 are 👏 the 👏 eyes 👏 not 👏 the 👏 headlights 👏
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) June 15, 2017
You know you're a parent when the only #Oscars nominated movie you've watched is Inside Out.
— Doyin Richards (@daddydoinwork) February 28, 2016
Do we all agree there is a 100% chance an earlier version of this machine killed Belle's mom pic.twitter.com/UUmmccEURL
— Kibblesmith ⚔️ (@kibblesmith) July 2, 2016
Parenting in the 80s: Here. Watch this cartoon movie.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) June 8, 2017
Parenting now: Worries the death scene of Bambi's mother will scar my kids for life.
Belle could have easily set up some kind of literacy program in her town instead of being a pretentious snit about it
— Mara Wilson (@MaraWilson) June 28, 2016
When I was a kid I had to wait 2 years for a movie to hit VHS but now I'm pretty sure my toddler just bit torrented Moana.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) December 10, 2016
*slams hands on table*
— Goddamnit Jamie (@Jay_FrickinLynn) July 2, 2015
HOW DID BUZZ KNOW TO FREEZE AROUND HUMANS IF HE DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS A TOY, CAROL?
[watching Aladdin]
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) September 11, 2016
6-year-old: I know what I'd wish for.
Me: What?
6: A tube of toothpaste that never runs out.
Dream big, kid.
Kids today are so coddled- Elf on the Shelf, Toy Story. In my day, if dolls magically came to life, they murdered you and everyone you loved
— maura quint (@behindyourback) December 26, 2013
We're 15 minutes into her first ever viewing of E.T. and I guarantee the 6YO's entire takeaway from this movie will be "PENIS BREATH!"
— Brenna Jennings (@SuburbanSnaps) November 1, 2014
Daughter: I think you'd like the Cinderella movie."
— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) March 2, 2015
Me: Yeah? Why?
Her: Cause she's like you.
Me: Beautiful?
Her: No. She cleans a lot.
Unless this movie takes a dramatic turn, it seems the theme of Little Mermaid is "be pretty, be quiet, and all your dreams will come true".
— The Glad Stork (@TheGladStork) September 4, 2015
We screamed "We want more original movies."
— Jacques Nyemb (@jnyemb) May 28, 2017
They give us the 'Emoji Movie.'
We sigh heavily, realizing we need to be more specific.
Probably the biggest plot hole in Harry Potter for me is that they are wizards.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) April 10, 2015
We really never talked enough about the fact that Ariel's main hobby was "looting corpses for whatever they had in their pockets."
— Sady Doyle (@sadydoyle) March 18, 2014
The villain in the next Lego movie is just a pissed off mom with a giant DustBuster.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) July 24, 2015
ET is a feel-good movie because it reminds me that I'm not so bad at parenting I wouldn't notice an alien is in my daughter's ghost costume.
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) November 27, 2016
Pro Tip for parents:
— Matt Navarra ⭐️ (@MattNavarra) August 4, 2016
DON’T buy the Finding Dory night light.
When you turn it on in the dark… this happens. pic.twitter.com/ogrNMa9VM0
ESTATE AGENT: Here's the garden as y
— Joe West (@joejwest) November 27, 2014
SIMBA: Shut up a second
[the sun comes out from behind a cloud]
SIMBA: This belongs to me now
My son is laughing & enjoying The Smurfs movie. I'm so embarrassed for him.
— Wendi Aarons (@WendiAarons) August 12, 2011
The most overlooked impact of the movie Frozen is that it changed everyone's first guess of the pronunciation of Anna.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) June 20, 2016
Some little kids were doing karate moves while waiting for the Ninja Turtles movie to start. I defeated them so easily.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) August 9, 2014
I'd like to personally thank the movie #Cars for being such an enthralling movie that my son hasn't asked for a snack in over 45 minutes.
— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) September 11, 2014
GOOFS: Gaston is not roughly the size of a barge.
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) May 10, 2015
OMG, Paddington is SUCH an adorable movie the first 45 times.
— Julie Maida (@NextLifeNOKids) June 1, 2015
*watching ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: CHIPWRECKED*
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) January 9, 2016
Me: You like this movie?
5yo: Yes!
Me: *points to door* GET OUT.
Actually the rat isn't named Ratatouille, its Ratatouille's Monster. The scientist is Dr. Ratatouille. Read the book 🍝
— Eran (@eranrae) June 20, 2017
Monsters, Inc. pic.twitter.com/W3ME8gCv2m
— Amazon Movie Reviews (@AmznMovieRevws) December 16, 2014
Karate Kid is my favorite movie about tricking a kid into doing all your chores because you gave him a bandana and beat up his classmates.
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) July 3, 2016
How To Talk To A Woman, Disney edition. pic.twitter.com/Q1ZNhhpzgF
— OhNoSheTwitnt 🏳️🌈 (@OhNoSheTwitnt) September 2, 2016
"Sorry I'm late, I got held up." - Simba
— Rhys James (@rhysjamesy) January 13, 2015
At what age does a little girl’s obsession with princesses typically end? I’ll flee the country if I ever have to buy her Cinderella tampons
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) February 4, 2014
I assume the Minion movie is just footage of me begging my kids to stop doing Minion voices every day since 2013.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) July 13, 2015
The Polar Express is my favorite Xmas movie about parents who don't give a shit that their kid was abducted in the middle of the night.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) December 23, 2013
"Oh my God, stop singing and I'll build a fucking snowman with you." - Elsa
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) April 3, 2014
"How the Grinch Stole Christmas" is my favorite Christmas movie about breaking and entering.
— The Glad Stork (@TheGladStork) December 21, 2015
I just caught myself say "I'm dying to know how the new Lego Movie turned out" in case you're wondering what my level of cool actually is.
— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) January 29, 2016
Anyone who thinks the Minions are cute and funny clearly hasn't seen the movie 97 times.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) September 20, 2016
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Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
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