Donald Trump: I Am A Rich Man (A Parody of “If I Were A Rich Man” from Fiddler On The Roof)

“Dear God, you made many, many poor people.

I realize, of course, that it’s no shame to be poor.

But I’m damn glad I’m not one of them.

So, is it so terrible that I have made a large fortune?

I am a rich man

Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum

All day long I grow increasingly numb

Because I am a wealthy man.

Women- no clue how to work hard

Ya ha deedle deedle bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
I am a filthy biddy biddy rich,

Idle diddle daidle daidle man.

I’ll build a big tall wall stretching miles by the dozen,

Right in the middle of the border.

And shut down Muslims from entering the country.

There will be mocking of women, handicapped too,

And H. Clinton for I abhor her.

Tweet offensively-take it down, just for show.

I’d rid our country of terrorists, export them by the dozens, for all to see and to hear.

Squawking just as noisily as I can.

All my ignorant comments landing like a trumpet on the ear,

As if to say, “Here lives a wealthy man.”

I am a rich man

Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum

All day long I’d biddy biddy bum.

I am a wealthy man.

I’d try to become the President.

Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum,

For I am a biddy biddy rich

Idle diddle daidle daidle man.

I’d see my sheriff star on Twitter, and swear it’s not a sign against the Jews,

Oy ve!

Supervising liberals to my heart’s delight.

I love to put on all my airs and strut about like a peacock.

Oy, what a happy mood I’m in,

Screaming at the delegates, day and night.

The most important MEN in town would come to fawn on me!

They would ask me to advise them.

Like a Solomon the Wise.

“If you please, Mr. President…”

“Pardon me, Mr. President…”

Posing problems that would cross a rabbi’s eyes!

And it won’t make one bit of different if I answer right or wrong.

When you’re rich, they think you really know!

If I were President, I’d get this country back on track

Show China just who knows how to make a deal.

And maybe start some wars just to show off.

And I’d discuss nothing with nobody, because I’d already have all the perfect plans.

That would be the sweetest thing of all.

If I were the President,

Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum.

Show the entire world I have no idea how “to shtoom”

I don’t have to- I’m a very wealthy man.

No one else knows how to work hard,

Idle diddle daidle daidle wo-man.

Lord who made the lion and the lamb,

You decreed I should be what I am.

Could I be a real solution in this plan?

I am just a very wealthy man.

“You might say every one of us is a fiddler on the roof. Trying to scratch out a pleasant, simple tune without breaking his neck. It isn’t easy.” Source