This essay is one of 35 selected by a panel of judges for “Ambitions Interrupted,” a series from The GroundTruth Project and YouthVoices, its storytelling platform.
Name: Leny Rose Bildan-Ayroso
Age: 30
Dream job: Writer and filmmaker
Location: Antipolo City, Philippines
Current job: Team leader at a telemarketing company
Biggest challenge: Unsure of how to start pursuing dream
I want to become a writer and a filmmaker. Ten years ago, I set my dreams aside and jumped into the idea of “money first,” taking a job at a call center. I did not have grit at that time and I believed stories that I would not earn enough money by writing, and that I would need to know someone in order to break into the field.
I felt the need to help my family right away, and I thought I could pursue my passion later. Even before I got my bachelor’s degree in mass communication in 2006, I made up my mind to get a job as an outbound telemarketer. I now work at TELUS International in the Philippines.
I was itching to give my first salary to my mother. For almost 10 years, I’ve worked in what’s called BPO, “business process outsourcing,” getting promotions along the way. I believe that love is a choice, and I chose to love my work and accomplishments.
At present, I keep on searching for joys in what life has to offer outside my workplace. I got married two months ago and found out that I am five weeks pregnant. Truth be told, I never expected great happiness in this phase of my life. I never thought of a dream man, dream wedding, dream house with kids or a dream life as mother or wife. All I dreamt was to become a traveler, a writer, a vagabond filmmaker.
Once again, I am ready to settle where my reality is – as a wife and soon-to-be mother. But I asked myself: Is it not possible for my dream and reality to collide? A wife-writer, a mother-filmmaker? One day, I hope share my writing with the world, but for now, I am uncertain how to begin.
This story was originally submitted to YouthVoices, a platform powered by The GroundTruth Project that encourages young people to share stories about the issues affecting their generation. Submit your own essays and answer new questions here, or learn more about global youth unemployment with this interactive map.