David Mark Quarve (1941-2017)
As springtime approaches, the memory of shared losses endured in 2016 is still fresh in our collective minds, compounded by the slow, steady accumulation of additional stage exits in this New Year. These losses of notable actors, authors, musicians, and others that have defined generations affect broad swaths of the general populace with grief, cause for reflection, and forced awareness of the passage of time.
Some shared losses, even of those never personally met, cut with broad strokes through the national psyche. Personal losses go relatively unnoticed by comparison, but cut much deeper to those who are affected. In a couple of days, another service member will be welcomed to his final resting place in a national cemetery. The ceremony is private; the event will not be trending on Twitter. There are legions of people who never met the deceased, and it is very much their profound loss.
Born in a blizzard, my friend grew up in and graduated high school in North Dakota. Well-educated in English and Philosophy, the pre-seminarian played the baritone and ran track in school. A graduate of Concordia College in Moorhead, Minnesota, he served his country honorably aboard the USS Sellers and in the Navy Reserve.
After researching and publishing his family’s genealogy, this former Social Commissioner of the Athenian Society moved to Fresno, California, and became a railway clerk for Southern Pacific Railroad. At the same time, he joined the Fresno Chess Club and served as its president for 25 years, at the end of which he was inducted into the Fresno Chess Club Hall of Fame.
This railway clerk led a full life, working for Denver Rio Grande Railroad and the Union Pacific Railroad following his initial stint with Southern Pacific. He recently celebrated his 30th wedding anniversary with his wife Catherine. In addition to chess, he also played tennis, Bridge, and Whist, and served as Junior and Senior Warden at St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church. The story of his adult life stretches from one coast of the country he loved to the other, and the journey produced many positive memories and lasting relationships along the way.
It is important as we wring our hands for the steady flow of celebrities making their final curtain call that we remember the constant trickle of the far less-famous but equally wonderful people who also continue to leave us, each after having made their own difference the world. A military honor guard will send my friend to his eternal rest in relative obscurity. His contributions are many, and the world is a better place for his time here.
An enriching life story is not unique to my departed friend. Equally robust life stories exist of others as well, waiting only to be recorded and shared by family and friends of the deceased. In a time where local newspapers will not print more than a cursory notice marking the passing of community members without a fee, it is more imperative than ever that people are properly eulogized, and these descriptions of friends and loved ones are preserved for posterity. Ordinary people matter, everyday lives hold value, and we must not lose sight of the importance of recording the significant contributions to family and community of those who made a difference for those who will come later.
I remember this man, this veteran, this chess guru. The warmth of his kindness and our resulting friendship touched my life in a meaningful way. I have no doubt this is an experience shared by many lucky enough to make his acquaintance. So this understated eulogy is my way of saying goodbye, showing his life mattered, ensuring he will not be forgotten. I will not forget the simple kindness he always showed to me, and I implore others to similarly mark the simple kindnesses of those who made a difference in their lives. David Mark Quarve passed away on February 7, 2017. He was 75.
Randal is a freelance writer, genealogist, and Kentucky Colonel. He is also currently Commander of the Department of Missouri, Sons of Union Veterans of the Civil War.