“It never feels like I’m in control of my body or my thoughts when I have a panic attack and it’s as if someone else has entered my body and is forcing it to shake, hyperventilate and scream,” says Shannen Roberts, solo artist of Cusi Coyllur.
I am thrilled to present Cusi Coyllur’s (coo-see coy-your) next single, “Woke Up From a Lazy Dream,” now available on Spotify, SoundCloud, Bandcamp and more. Her last single, “amivulnerable?”, was on domestic abuse awareness. Coyllur again advocates for social justice and mental health issues with this song about suffering from “mind obstacles,” a term she coined to replace “mental illnesses.”
Her use of chimes, lighters and harps lure you into a dreamscape representing the hazy, mind-altered world she, her friends and partner at the time struggled to leave. Taking place in high school, she was a stoner who regularly drank and popped soma pills, often in between classes.
Later, cries and an abrupt change of stomps, claps and harsh vocals depict her intense panic attacks, sometimes occurring three times a day with hallucinations. Many of her friends revealed they had tried to commit suicide or were depressed and took drugs to cope. It was a scary realization that she was overwhelmingly not alone at the time in how she felt and dealt with it. This song brings awareness to depression, suicide and how those mind obstacles are linked to teenage drug and alcohol abuse.
The line “Woke up from a lazy dream” is a metaphor for the feeling when the drugs wear off and so does the feeling of being “cool.” Brought back to reality, she realized this lifestyle would lead her nowhere and panicked about her partner who was still stuck in that world.
Soon after she secretly recorded the song, she started The Strange is Beautiful, an alternative self-help blog for mind obstacles, to help others heal in healthy ways and create a supportive community. Cusi Coyllur has another single followed by an EP coming out in the spring.