I’m sure you’ve all seen social media posts about red-headed people being magical unicorns, or that less than 1% of the world’s population has red hair. In reality, populations descended from Northern and Western Europe have 6-10% red hair, but less than 1% have both red hair and blue eyes.
I’ve often reflected that I have a strange collection of recessive genes acquired from various relatives. My daughter too, has inherited many of these.
She is about to start school this fall, and I worry, which is my job as a parent. As parents, we all want the best for our kids. I recall some of these traits made growing up difficult. It’s never easy to be different than other people.
Julia, no matter what traits you have, other kids will likely tease you. This is part of figuring who we are as people. You can’t control this, but you can control how you react to it, and how you learn from it.
- Red Hair
From the time my daughter was 2 years old, random strangers have come up to me and asked me if I dye her hair. I don’t know who these people are who would dye a toddler’s hair. Still, I’m thankful we were not born when red hair was considered the devil’s mark. Being burned as a witch must be the hands-down worst way to die. Outlander, anyone?
Julia, celebrate the things that make you uniquely you, no matter if someone else thinks it’s strange, or fake.
- Blue Eyes
My grandmother often reflected a boy in her school called her the girl with the navy blue eyes. I love this family memory. I also find it amazing that every one of her grandchildren and great grandchildren got this recessive trait.
Julia, every time I look in your eyes, I see my mother’s, and my grandmother’s too. Never forget you are descended from a line of strong women. Use your beautiful eyes to see the world.
- Left-Handed
As an adult, being left-handed is generally a non-event. But, in grade school, heaven forbid I needed to do an art project that involves cutting. I am hopeless at cutting in a straight line. I have embarrassing memories of being that kid in kindergarten that had to use the scissors with 4 finger holes so the teacher can cut with you.
Julia, if you need extra help from your teacher for any reason, accept it. Teachers are there to help you be the best person you can. That includes cutting.
- Irish Skin
This means susceptibility to just about everything: sun, wind, extreme temperature, and horror of horrors, poison ivy, which is apparently a recessive trait. Who knew? In fact the figures are 85% of people are susceptible, but only 10-15% for an extreme allergic reaction.Yup, that’s us! If I sneeze in its direction, I am taking oatmeal baths for two weeks. Ditto for Virginia creeper. Big thanks to my neighbors for never weeding.
Sorry girlfriend, this is one you can’t escape. But, blushing easily will endear you to others. It’s ok to wear your heart on your sleeve.
- Being Tall
Average heights have not changed much in past generations. Based on this, I’m about 6 inches taller than the average woman. This is something I’ve come to embrace about myself, given my complete lack of skills for wearing heels. I grew 9 inches in middle school, drastically limiting the pool of datable guys, and 2 more inches in college. I feared it would continue, and I’d be 6’3’’ like the character I played in my high school musical, Hello Dolly.
Julia, may you be happy to be tall. It has its advantages in life. Try not to overly focus on your body. Strive to be healthy, and let the rest be.
- Size 0 Before It was a Thing
I was a skinny kid, and an even skinnier adolescent. When I was 12 a friend told me I’d likely fill out my bra more if I turned it around and wore it on my shoulder blades. I cried, a lot, and never forgot that comment, although we later made up. In just a few short years, post-college, when size 0 became the new 2, and suddenly thin was in, I wished I was a few years younger. It would have been easier. Now, as a 30-something with two kids, I wish I had appreciated that body more when I had it.
Honey, sometimes you may not understand why another person makes fun of you. Know that insecurity drives a lot of teasing. If you have an opportunity to support another person or lift them up, take it. This makes you a good friend, and an even better person.
- Type 0 Blood
I did not even know about this recessive trait until the first time I gave blood. The Red Cross has had me on speed dial ever since. But, I like to think the blood I’ve donated has helped people who needed it. It don’t spend as much time volunteering as I could; this is one little way I can give back.
Darling, always take whatever opportunity presents to use your talents, whatever they may be, to help others.
To my daughter: Dear Julia, I am sorry for passing on so many of my recessive genes to you. Remember that these are the things that make you unique. Embrace, and celebrate them when you can. If you love yourself, and the things that make you unique, other people probably will too. They will one day make you a stronger person.
All my love,
Mom
You can see more at Musings by Lynn, www.lynnricker.com