Reports of an Australian study today may cause concern for parents whose babies were born by Caesarean. It’s not unfathomable that there could be a correlation between Caesarean birth and cognitive delays. Perhaps due to the interruption to the microbiome; the community of microrganisms that surrounds and inhabits each of us, as research is beginning to link our gut to our brain. My sense is that it could also be due to birth trauma. It seems logical that babies born by Caesarean are more likely to experience emotional shock if they are born at a scheduled time (without the physiological preparation of labour), or as an emergency measure due to labour being difficult. They are also more likely to experience separation from their mothers.
When our babies’ feelings about birth, or subsequent experiences, accumulate, they can start to weigh on the limbic system (the emotional centre of the brain). This has the effect of inhibiting the function of the pre-frontal cortex (the cognitive centre of the brain). Essentially, over time feeling hinders thinking. Thankfully, we can restore our children’s ability to think well by helping them clear these accumulated feelings.
So, knowing that there is this potential risk factor and that many babies will still need to be born by Caesarean, what can we do to support our children?
1. Consider the colonisation of microbes during labour. Usually a baby receives vital vaginal and fecal flora as they pass through the birth canal. If this is bypassed one measure that some parents choose to take is to place a swab in the vagina, to be wiped over the baby shortly after birth. Babies are also colonised with microbes from mum’s skin during skin to skin contact.
2. Listen to your baby when they cry. We actually have an inbuilt recovery system for any kind of stress or trauma. The body naturally releases stored feelings through crying. Because the healing effects of this are little known, culturally, we tend to stop crying babies by rocking, feeding or soothing with a dummy. When we know that our baby is well fed and changed and is not crying for a physiological or medical need, we can hold them close and listen with warmth and patience as they cry. This is very different to letting a baby cry alone, which can be detrimental. As humans our brains are highly social and interrelated and when close to each other, we tend to 'attune' to one another. This happens strongly between parents and babies. With their closeness and attention a parent’s brain becomes a resource for their baby's brain, which 'piggybacks' on the adult limbic system so they can sense they are safe while they offload feelings. This is how small and big humans heal all life’s hurts. You can probably relate to how good it feels to have a cry with a loved one close by.
3. Continue listening to your child this way as he or she grows older. We tend to see that birth trauma is something children will go back to releasing time after time. It's not always clear this is what they are working on but all emotional releases in the form of laughter, crying, shrieking/trembling with fear, raging tantrums, sweating yawning are valuable. Children tend to pick a small pretext like not wanting to go in the car seat or high chair, not wanting to put a jumper over their head, fear of being closed in or restricted when they are actually quite safe. Check this article for a list of some ideas of things you can say during their emotional upsets.
Here’s an example of what a birth trauma release might look like in an older child:
“My oldest child started getting more and more upset and panicked as we were getting ready to go out as a family. We happened to be in the bathroom and then she kept wanting to go to another room where she could safely do the heavy work of "feeling better," as she calls it. She knew her intense feelings were right there at the surface and feared she could get hurt, or hurt me. I told her I would keep her safe, even there. She just lost it, started to rage, and tried to kick her little sister. Wanting to keep everybody safe, I held her on the bathroom floor. She was sweating, trembling and struggling, saying she was stuck, and trapped. Then she panicked and tried to scratch my face. I held her hand and kept reminding her that I loved her, and that she was safe. She looked at me and told me she couldn't breathe (she could) and that she was choking. Rhythmically, she would stop breathing and then tell me how it hurt, how it was so tight. Then she told me she was feeling sick and gagged. When she was being born, she got stuck in the birth canal for more than two hours, an experience that we think frightened her immensely. That frozen fear, that life or death urgency that belongs to the past was being brought up right then, for both of us to re-experience, and release. The process went on an on for a while. She would have crying cycles and look at me often for reassurance. She would find it. Then, it happened. She started to relax in my arms and smile gently. I could see peace coming from her eyes and from her overall muscle tone. She giggled and mentioned something silly she was noticing. After this big cry she was more calm, sweet, tender and alert for some days.” By Marilupe de la Calle (Hand in Hand Instructor in Philadelphia)
Today’s research may feel daunting if your child has been born by Caesarean. The good news is that because these therapeutic parenting tools are not yet widespread, it's unlikely that many of the children in this study were listened to in this way and given the opportunity to recover from their early experiences. We don’t yet have the research to support this, but parents within the Hand in Hand Parenting Community have been witnessing behavioural and developmental leaps after emotional release for the past 25 years. I'm ready to place my bet on this approach being the missing piece that will help babies born by Caesarean to thrive. As our evidence is currently just anecdotal, I’ll leave you with a couple more stories.
“One mother was practicing Parenting by Connection to build a stronger bond between herself and her 4-year-old daughter. Her daughter had been coming into the mother's bed at night and sleeping restlessly, so the mom tried not allowing her daughter into her bed, but instead, holding her while she cried and cried and cried. After one particularly long, hard cry in the middle of the night, her daughter finished, and lay in her Mommy's arms. She looked at her Mommy and said, "Mommy, when I was born, I was on your tummy and we were looking at each other, just like now." This was true--the doctor had laid her daughter on her chest, and they had a long moment of eye contact right after her birth. This mom had never talked about this to her daughter--the memory was whole and accurate.”
“When my son Oliver was little he would have incredible night terrors. He would kick and kick and kick, all the while seeming terrified. Of course, I was tired and grumpy. I wanted to stop the tantrum and would tell him that he was just dreaming and nothing was really wrong. Around this time I also noticed that whenever he had a cough, or swallowed wrong, his eyes would get huge, like he couldn't breathe. His birth was a very traumatic birth with a ruptured uterus and emergency c section. I remembered that when the doctor went to cut into the uterus, his foot came flying out with a big kick and the doctor jumped back and said, "Wow, this guy can really kick". Then I remembered that he didn't breathe on his own for quite a while. The staff stood around him chanting softly, "breathe, breathe, breathe" and finally, he did. I realised his night terrors had to do with that powerless, scary feeling. From that time on when he had them I would say, "You made it. You kicked yourself free. You can breathe all by yourself." The night terrors tapered off. He still hates the feeling of not being able to breathe, learning to swim was a huge project, but I'm so glad for these tools.” By Instructor Maria Chew