It was her big day to shine in front of all of her kindergarten classmates. Eager to please us and impress her friends, her book of choice was Princess Cupcake Jones. She was glowing on her extra-special day; both Mom and Dad had come to participate in her designated day for sharing a book with the class.
Perched tall beside me in a chair in front of her peers, she was beaming as she proudly announced to the class neatly seated on the reading rug that she would be reading to them about Princess Cupcake Jones.
She cleared her throat, but before she could turn the first page, a precocious—and very privileged—classmate blurted out, “You’re a princess, but only sort of. You’re pretty and fancy, but your house is kind of small for a princess.”
Shocked, my heart sank as dead silence filled the classroom air. The young, nervous teacher offered up the expected eye-roll toward the student implying for her to shut up, but it was too late. The words had been spoken, and my girl had heard them.
Confident, yet sensitive to the needs of others, my 6-year-old graciously stated, “It does not take living in a big mansion to be a princess. Being a princess has to do with what’s in your heart and how you treat people.”
Her classmate simply replied, “Oh.”
She didn’t shrink. She didn’t cry. She did not appear to feel inadequate. She stood her ground.
Fighting back tears, I winked at my girl and nodded for her to proceed. And just like that, my little girl experienced what may have been her first public humiliation and public feat simultaneously. She did not allow the words of her friend to break her stride. She stood up for herself and used what could have been a very embarrassing moment to educate her peer on humility. She had more poise in her little pinky than I had in my entire body in that very moment.
As a mother who believes in investing wholeheartedly in the character development of my child, this has always been my goal. I have worked to lay a foundation for compassion, humility and integrity; but after that, my job is done, and it is up to her to act on these values and continue this legacy that I hope to leave behind for generations to come.
I don’t ever want my daughter, who will become a woman in this world, to ever place a value on a person on the premise of the size of a person’s home, bank account or their material possessions.
I want my daughter to know that only she has the power to define herself and her destiny, not others.
I want my daughter to know that no material possession could ever add more value to her as a human being.
I want her to know that having good character, compassion and integrity are things that money and association can not buy.
I want my daughter to know that it is her duty to extend the gift of compassion towards all people regardless of their station in life.
I want her to know that no one can make her feel small, unless she gives them permission to.
I want my daughter to know that no matter how much success or material possessions she may attain, that it is her duty to appreciate and be thankful for everything that she has, while never placing more value on things than a human life.
I want to leave my daughter with an inheritance of integrity, and for it to spill over into the generations that follow.
Yes, beautiful, big homes and nice things are lovely. But I want my daughter to know that being of good character will always adorn her with a crown of glory, and that being a princess is truly a matter of the heart.
Photo Credit: Creative Soul Photography
Note: The original version of this article was originally published on Mamalode on October 18, 2016.