Now I lay me down to sleep...except for, I am still awake.
Awake thinking of the many things I meant to do, but couldn’t get done today.
Awake thinking of the things I said that I second guess—
In my mind, I go over these conversations with my child and wonder if something could have been said differently or if perhaps, there was something I might have missed in her words.
Or if perhaps, my strong love came through with each sentence, word and syllable
As she lays down to sleep,
I pray she doesn’t feel the difference between us and “them:”
As we walk our neighborhood on crisp days, she points to houses and says, “I want us to have our own home.”
As she lays down to sleep,
I hope she knows how amazing, creative, smart, strong and bright her light already is.
Hope that each day in every way,
my child knows I love her.
I sit and hope for the parents who tell me when they hear I am a single mom:
if they understand that parenting doesn’t come with an optional button.
If these parents know that for most of the times, we don’t choose to be single parents.
Now I try again to sleep—
I’m thinking about the time I was sick this year. A few times.
I’m thinking that I am grateful for health. Grateful for work. Grateful for friends and family.
I ask for continued health. I ask for continued love.
That I remain the sane, strong and stable woman who wakes up, clocks in and checks in with her child each day.
That bills are paid— especially the medical and legal bills— and that like today, tomorrow I am still employed.
Because a happy single mom makes for a happy child.
I ask the Lord to keep her happy.
To let her have every opportunity even if sometimes, the money is not enough.
I ask the Lord to bring her
someone she and I can trust, rely on and care for.
Someone she can call, “Stepdad.”
Someone I can call lover but most importantly,
I ask for angels or good vibrations to watch me
as each morning, I hustle through the morning routine.
Her to school, me to work.
Did I rush too much? Did I get in enough hugs?
Did I remember to pack everything for school?
I ask for guidance to know what to
I ask for guidance to pay those student loans, health insurance, medical bills, legal bills, rent, utilities
and the list expands until I am almost at rest.
Until I remember that I had a great idea and need to write it down, and in my moment of “alone time,” I know if I don’t write it...I will forget it.
I ask for the people like friends and family to know how much I appreciate the help and love.
Even though asking for help sometimes literally kills parts of me.
I ask for the people who have helped to know that one day,
I ask for people who make that sorry face when they hear I’m not married,
to not make that sorry face anymore.
To be happy I am happy, and to hope that some day I can say— I found that right guy.
Hopefully a long time before I am buried in the ground.
I ask for more opportunities for my career, for my girl.
That no stone is left unturned.
Now I lay me down to sleep, a single mom, a tired mom
Just as strong. Just as bright.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.