The last few days have been a marvelous whirlwind! Charlene, my friend and co-worker at Robert F Henry Tile flew from Montgomery to Los Angeles, Calif. to attend a great sales training event hosted by Walker Zanger. They make some of the most beautiful tile and stone products you have ever seen. Google them. You will agree.
Anyway, we spent several delightful days with these wonderful people, soaking in both the beauty and knowledge they surrounded us with. It was a terrific time!
Then came Sunday morning. We had to get up so early that I swear I heard roosters crowing on the eleventh floor of the Universal City Sheraton (lovely hotel). You just don't expect to see or hear fowl of any variety at any time, other than plucked and roasted.
We checked out of the hotel at 4:30 a.m., meaning we got up at 3:15 a.m., got in the Camry and headed for LAX. The trip was relatively uneventful, turning in the car to the nice Enterprise people, catching the tram to LAX, getting checked in and then finally, at the gate!
Since we were there early, we had a little breakfast. I won't even TELL you what that cost, then boarded our American Airlines Flight leaving LAX promptly, PROMPTLY at 7:15 a.m., headed for Charlotte, N.C. Unfortunately, fifteen minutes past our prompt departure time we had not even taxied onto the tarmac, so an informative young man explained our dire dilemma, and our collective lack of promptness.
"We have to wait a while because the caterers forgot to bring the meals for the people in first class, so we are just going to have to wait for them since they have paid for them, after all."
Since the vast majority of the people on the plane were not sitting in first class and were generally unsympathetic to the issue at hand, I am at a loss on why to make this statement. I can think of so many more diplomatic ways of giving us the same news.
"Sorry folks, we are waiting for the food truck. It's running a little late but since we know on a four hour flight you will need some refreshments, please hang in here with us. We should be leaving shortly." Collectively we could have understood that, considering our common need for pretzels and Diet Coke.
Shortly turned out to be an additional twenty minutes. Now we had been on the plane on the ground for nearly forty-five minutes before leaving, but as we finally took off, another voice informed us that because of some turbulence ahead that the captain would keep on the seat belt sign for another thirty minutes.
After we had been in the air for about twenty minutes, a rather kind woman behind us hailed a stewardess and politely explained she was feeling ill and could she go to the rest room?
Now I need you to think back in time with me. Do you remember the robot from the television series Lost In Space whose main line consisted of, "WARNING! DANGER WILL ROBINSON! WARNING!"?
After the series' demise this voice had then been implanted into our stewardess. Making sure to preserve the ailing woman's dignity she announced at full volume that could be heard for ten rows that " If she absolutely HAD to go to the bathroom it would be at her personal risk and American Airlines would assume no responsibility should she be hurt or maimed."
She then went to her Mr. Microphone and in the same tones, only highly amplified, she informed the entire cabin of the same information. The woman behind me never moved, but several of us did including yours truly who was not gifted with a bladder the size of The Gulf of Mexico.
The Robot returned for an important announcement that they would begin cabin service soon...that some items were available for purchase but only, ONLY you understand by using a credit card, no cash allowed. That service would start at some point "she hoped "when the aisles were clear, apparently some thoughtless passengers were politely waiting in line to use the rest room. "It will start when the aisles are clear, GOT IT?"
We got it.
Her scolding of the rather well behaved passengers actually had people looking to see what she would do next. Knowing grins were exchanged. She was that spinster school teacher we all had whose goal in life was to make those around her as miserable as she is. There is only one way you can really handle someone like this, and it is how we do it in the Deep South. We look at each other, eyes slightly downcast and understandingly say "Bless Her Heart." And we mean it, sort of.
Aside from a few other similar comments whose only correct reply seemed to be "Sir, yes sir!", the rest of the flight was uneventful. The last leg of the journey from Charlotte to Montgomery went without a hitch.
I do have to wonder though... What did they eat in First Class?