Life isn’t easy for me; life isn’t easy for anyone really; every day is filled with challenges big and small. I certainly try my best to see the positive side of things but sometimes this seems almost impossible. These past years haven’t been easy coping with destructive family relationships, car accidents causing family members life-changing injuries, pay cuts and I could go on and on but what I do know is this – choosing to be positive has helped me in becoming the person I want to be.
Thinking in a positive way and trying to see the best in even the most challenging of situations has made every single moment easier to bear and it’s through this I have grown and my horizons have expanded.
Positive thinking is a choice for all of us; it is something we have to actually train ourselves to do as most of us naturally hedge towards negative thinking. When times becomes particularly difficult being positive IS hard work, there’s no doubt but there are always benefits to being gained so it’s definitely worth all the effort. I would like to share with you some of the steps I take to keep thinking positively.
- Being Positive Is Your Choice – this was most definitely my greatest lesson – I DO HAVE A CHOICE. I was always led to believe that people either had a negative or a positive disposition because of their childhoods, their patterns, beliefs, relationships and experiences. I spent years ‘blaming’ all the things going wrong in my life on my negative mindset and it was just inevitable that these things would happen. NOT SO…… when I took the time to think about it I realised it was down to me what I chose. With this information every day I know that it is my responsibility to choose to see the positive in every situation. I choose my feelings; I choose my attitude and no one can change this. What an empowering way to live!
- Removing The Negativity – so what was I to do when I was living a life surrounded by negative people and all I wanted was for them to applaud my happiness? I started to live my life on an 80/20 rule, trying to spend only 20% of my time with the negative people in my life. This was painful to make this move but it was also necessary, as I could not continue to live with this negative influence anymore. When I used to think in a negative way I attracted negative people and things into my life; which in turn brought me down. I also had to look at my own negative behaviours and start changing these – eating healthily and exercising more, starting meditation, taking time for me. By taking a step back and re-evaluating what I was doing and who was in my life, I began to focus more on attracting positive things into my space. I made a decision to leave trading the futures market and concentrate on my mission of helping women to heal their painful relationships. None of this was easy and is still ongoing but it is a much better way to live your life.
- Focusing On The Positivity – there is good in every single person and in every situation; it’s not always easy to recognise this and might not be obvious. It is much easier to see the negative as you are used to doing this and finding the positive is hard work so be careful here not to slip back into your old ways of thinking. Step back, take some time and try and see the positive in EVERY situation, however, bad it may seem. For me, seeing any good in my mother was almost impossible but I kept at it and now I naturally only see the ‘good’ in Mum. So it does work, it just takes time. It’s all a learning curve so keep going with this, it gets easier over time as you form a new habit of ‘seeing’ the positive in everyday situations.
- Affirming your Positivity – so now you know you have the choice to think positively and you know to look for the positive in situations but how can you reinforce this new habit? This is where affirmations come in; short positive sentences all about you and how amazing you are. Look for the absolute best in you and tell yourself. Write these down, 20 affirmations of how amazing you are at your job, how good you look, how well you cook and how wonderful you are. Focus entirely on the positive and read these every day. You will naturally then see the positive as you go about your daily business; attracting more of this to you.
- Spread Your Positivity Around – share what you know with the world! Very simply start being nice to people, complimenting them, smiling at them, saying positive things, not moaning and joining in their negative comments. Don’t gossip and run people down; this will drag you with them. Tell your parents and your children how much you love them. Simple stuff hey? But I found all this quite difficult. For years, I hadn’t seen the good in me so I couldn’t possibly see the good in anyone else. But this was changing as I started to take a small step each day of just ‘being nice’. People genuinely love ‘positivity’ so you are doing the world a huge service sharing this around.
Having a positive outlook is a choice you can make today. So take one small step in the right direction and build on this. Start believing in you and that you can do this!
