CRIME
01/03/2017 06:20 pm ET

Bank Executive's Attempt To Keep DUI Out Of The Paper Backfires Spectacularly

And now it's national news.

Never mind the fact that Alanis Morissette’s hit single “Ironic” is more than two decades old. We hereby declare it the (unauthorized and extremely unofficial) anthem of one Joseph Talbot, an upstate New York man whose attempts at hiding a drunk driving arrest have backfired spectacularly.

New York State Police troopers arrested the 43-year-old bank executive for driving under the influence on Thursday. And, according to troopers, Talbot pitched a fit throughout the process: He called one trooper an “asshole” and accused the officer of trying to ruin his family. He also refused to be fingerprinted and photographed, police say, “because he did not wish to appear in the local paper.”

As a result, officers tacked on a second-degree charge of obstructing governmental administration, then took him to the Wayne County Jail, where he was booked and photographed anyway. Talbot is scheduled to appear in the Town of Palmyra Court on Feb. 1.

Wayne County Jail
The booking photo of bank executive Joseph Talbot.

As Talbot feared, The Times of Wayne County published his booking photo Saturday, to which he reacted by purchasing every copy of the paper he could lay his hands on, apparently in an attempt to keep the news of his arrest quiet.

Byrne Dairy store clerk Amber Streeter told Rochester ABC affiliate WHAM he bought 70 copies from her.

“He told me he went to about four, five other stores before he got here,” Streeter said. “Also that he wasn’t going to stop until he bought every paper out.”

The paper, which has a circulation of about 12,000, says Talbot succeeded in buying about 900 copies in the Newark, New York, area ― not enough to kill the story but just enough for the attempt itself to be newsworthy and gain additional attention.

Isn’t it ironic?

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