I knew wearing only my birthday suit on my 50th birthday and riding on the back of a Harley Davidson motorcycle would cause a stir, but I didn’t expect the comments to be quite so divisive. Take a look at the original article “The Survivor Chronicles” here- http://huff.to/1N33TjE Below, I respond to Fear Mongers, Conspiracy Theorists, and the Haters. Then read some of my favorite comments from Secure Normal People. Enjoy! (And feel free to leave your opinion!)
Dear Fear Mongers,
Life is short. Live a little!
- In the photo I noticed that MS. Blackburn was not wearing a crash helmet. Does Ms. Blackburn understand the risks involved in riding a motorcycle without a crash helmet? Maybe it was a feel-good adventure. But don’t try it again. It’s not worth the price.
Wait, is this Mrs. Datt, my 5th grade teacher? You really do follow me around in my nightmares! Signed MS. Blackburn
- Best way to get your insurance to pay for a total body skin graft?
This isn’t Jeopardy. Don’t question me with an answer.
- Please don’t ever ride a motorcycle again without safety gear. You’re too beautiful, exciting, and interesting to lay around in a hospital for months after having all your skin ripped off from a relatively minor fall.
I like you. I don’t like you. I like you. I don’t like you.
- Body positivity and similar efforts loose SO much gravitas when they involve a sis white hetero upper-middle class thin person.
I think I’ve just been body-shamed.
- Looking at this photo I’m reminded that Isadora Duncan died at age 50 from her long scarf wrapping around the wheel of the sportscar she was riding in.
But wow, what a legacy! Even a douchebag like you knows about it.
- Maybe for her 51st birthday, someone can give her a dictionary so she’ll know that you’re not naked if you’re wearing a scarf.
Darn it…I thought the no pants thing would put me in the “naked realm.” Now I have to go back and do it all over again!
- One bug, one stone from the road in the wrong spot...ouch.
Seriously, that’s what you’re worried about? One stone?
- I really hope writing this made HER feel better, since it is a totally worthless puff piece article otherwise.
You sound like a really nice person.
Dear Conspiracy Theorists,
You guys are super funny… keep it up!
- But - did she really ride, that is RIDE, naked or was it a prop in front of a wind machine. I find it strange that you can see every spoke of the front wheel while she was ‘riding’. Just saying. I think it was dangerous because one mistake, the bike goes down and she’s hamburger meat. Just saying.
A wind machine, really? What are we in a 1982 MTV video?
- She’s not “riding a motorcycle,” rather she is riding ON a motorcycle. That dude is riding the bike. Riding a motorcycle is a freeing experience, enhanced by feeling the raw power kick in with the turn of your wrist. Go back and actually ride the bike honey.
Ok. You’re right. I’m going to buy a $20,000 Harley and start riding. Good idea. What would I do without you, honey?
- It sure does look fake. The artist missed blurring a few spokes on the front wheel.
I can’t even respond to this. You’re an idiot.
Dear Haters,
Why you gotta be so bleak? Go hate somewhere else.
- That scarf could’ve changed the title of that photo to “this is what a headless corpse looks like at 50”.
But you and I both know that wouldn’t be as sexy.
- We all believe what we want to believe. Somebody needs to tell this lady that she is not “riding” a motorcycle, she is riding behind a man that is riding a motorcycle. What is this thing about declaring the older women still have some worth left in them because they still can show their naked body, model their naked body, ride behind a guy on a bike, naked, trying to feel that she is still a bit sexy by going through these extreme stunts. Not necessary.
You said “naked” three times in one sentence! Hee hee!
- Oh geez another woman who takes her clothes off to get attention...but I would think at 50 she would be mature enough to be past such a stunt? Guess not!
I know I am but what are you?
- She should try catching a bullit in her teeth next. People wear cloths and a helmet on a motorcycle for a reason.
Seriously, that’s how you spell bullet and clothes? I can’t even respond to you.
- ...and this is interesting because?
Ok, that kind of stung.
- I think it would have been equally powerful – maybe even more so – had they resisted the temptation to so heavily Photoshop her stomach and back (terribly obvious when you zoom in).
You zoomed in? Were you trying to catch a nip slip?
Dear Secure Normal People,
Thank you for getting it! I hope I’ve given you some ideas for your next birthday!
- First thing I noticed was the lack of eye protection. Okay, second thing I noticed was the lack of eye protection.
- You missed my street. Please send schedule beforehand.
- Can we get a look at the proof sheets???
- I’ve decided that I only turn 49 once...so I’m going to sew a live badger into my pants. Why not? Right?
- 50? 50? That naked woman on that bike is 50? Yeah I will Obama her and need to see a birth certificate. That body is 50! Well, well, guess some things do get better with age.
- Happy Birthday to ME!
- I like naked women of all ages. I’m an equal opportunity lover.
- Now I bet you didn’t ride through LA...? Did ya!!??
- Great! Too bad you had to do it on a lousy Harley Davidson. An Italian bike would have suited this occasion so much better.
- Pleasantly stunned by the intellectual honesty of the biographical sketch.
- If I looked that good I’ll be going grocery shopping naked, gardening in the buff...You name it!!
- Dear Haters- Careful, you wouldn’t want to fall off your couch!
- Good Lord, you people must live in a fox hole...You can tell the real motorcycle people here and the ones that wont walk out of the house without an umbrella with the fear it might rain. The woman was enjoying herself, so why cant you be happy for what she did. The rest can keep your mouths shut and go to Friendly’s for a ice cream cone.
- I didn’t think I was going to like this article before I clicked on it. I thought it was going to be some attention-seeking drivel. I was wrong. What an inspirational story! Makes me look forward to 50!
- You just melted my computer...
- It’s a compact and inspirational photo essay. Everyone should do one to take stock of the hardships they’ve faced and also to look forward.
- YEA for you. If only more people followed their dream we might live in a happier world. I’m trying to do it now (age 73). BTW piss on the negative commentators, do it your way.
- You have two choices: live your life or get in the coffin and wait. Keep ridin’, Christine....
- I guess the thinking is ― “Hey I’ve survived terrible things ― let’s go celebrate my life by doing something that raises my chances of ending my survival streak. I know... let’s fly down the highway nude on a motorcycle! It’ll either be fun or a spectacular disaster! Whoohoo!”
- Good lord, man, chill. It’s just a nice photo.
- The photo is not fake, give me a break. And clothes are not gonna make a helluva lot of difference if the bike goes down. Besides, the photo is a statement about turning 50. Not an endorsement for how to ride daily.
- I turned 60 this year, Ms. Blackburn, and now I want to gather old photographs and do the same thing based on the format of your wonderful story. The way you told reminds me of reading a Hemingway novel. Quick, precise and completely enjoyable. Thanks.
- Get it mama!
- Keep on rockin in the free world.
And my favorite response of all-
- White people…
Thank you for the comments everyone! By the way, in the interests of safety we were not going 70 mph, but rather cruising at around 30, still dangerous enough to be adventurous! If you haven’t read the original piece- The Survivor Chronicles, take a look. And go ahead, leave a comment. You know you want to.
