Work relationships are important, and Lisa Sugar’s savvy relationship advice outlines the office connections that you needed years ago—but can start building now! Plus, get a taste of her highly anticipated first book, Power Your Happy: Work Hard, Play Nice, and Build Your Dream Life, before it hits stands on September 20!
The Must-Have Work Relationships
Whatever the industry, we meet a handful of people during our careers who can help in different ways. Some are there for emotional support while others can help us get ahead in networking, but they are all incredibly valuable when building your work-related support system. Here are the types of people you’re likely to encounter and what you can offer each other.
Your boss: The most obvious and usually the most important person to impress, your boss can be an ally, a mentor, someone who challenges you to get better, or someone who makes your life hell. If it’s the latter, just be careful who you complain to, because you never know who that boss might be friends with. Going to HR or another higher-up you trust is your safest bet. If you have a boss you love and you find out you are getting a new manager, don’t panic. The more managers you have at a company, the more mentors you can turn to for advice, even after they’ve technically stopped being your manager.
The HR representative : One of the first people you’ll meet at a new job, he or she might offer you the job, train you, or just go over the employee benefits with you. Whatever resources HR offers, use them to get the most from your company’s offerings: health insurance, 401(k), maternity leave, and vacation policies. HR should also be the first place you go to discuss sensitive topics or personnel concerns you don’t feel comfortable discussing with anyone else. Trust them. They are your first ally and have seen a lot of good and bad shit, so they are ready for anything!
Your office BFF or work crew: Having a good friend at the office, even one whose friendship goes beyond work, is an invaluable part of loving your job. Hopefully, you make many along the way. These folks should preferably be a peer in your department or someone who works in another department. An office BFF understands what you do, can help you solve problems, and shares your sense of humor. They are great to fetch lunch with, happy hour, movies, and more, but try not to use her only to vent, and if you do need to get things off your chest, don’t do it at the office. Take a lunch off-site or plan to get a drink and focus on finding a good solution to what’s bothering you, rather than just bitching, which can make you both unhappier.
Assigned lunch buddy: When you start a new job, you might be assigned a buddy or “friendtor.” Often it’s someone in a different department you get to know over lunch, or it might be a colleague who is hired around the same time as you. While you might not love the idea of having lunch with a stranger, consider it good practice for future networking. Also, having a support system that stretches beyond your team or even your department can be incredibly helpful in navigating office culture or solving problems down the line.
The coworker you’re not so into: Unfortunately, we can’t necessarily control who we share an office with. If you have a coworker who drives you crazy, it’s up to you to deal with it. If it’s someone you don’t have to interact with, do your best to avoid her. If it’s a peer you think is getting more credit than he deserves, focus on doing the best job you can and prove that you deserve accolades, too. If someone is bullying you or sabotaging you, talk to HR, but otherwise, getting too caught up in your dislike of someone else will just make you disgruntled. Stay focused on the end goal, which is your own happiness and success.
Your first mentor: This might be your first boss, or it might be another higher-up in your department who understands you and supports you. Other people find mentors in family friends, former professors, or older, wiser women who don’t even work in their industry. Whoever she may be, a mentor can be a valuable (and safe) resource for advice, especially when it comes to navigating raises and promotions or figuring out your career path. It’s great to have multiple mentors throughout your career and also as a mom.
Your networking buddy: This is the friend you often run into at events and find that you connect with. It might be a colleague at your company or someone who does a similar job at another company. Attending events when you don’t know anyone intimidates even the most social of butterflies, so it helps to have someone by your side. Even if she is a peer at a competing company, don’t view her as competition, because she’s incredibly valuable as a collaborator and a sounding board. Whatever issues you are facing—whether it’s how to reorganize your team or how to incentivize employees—she can help you problem solve, since she has a similar job and deals with many of the same issues. A peer at another company can be a great secret weapon.
Your work husband / work wife: This person is similar to your work BFF and can be of either gender, but your relationship is deeper and more complicated. Like a married couple, you operate as a team, you can be brutally honest with each other, and you have an intuitive understanding of one another. Your work spouse is probably the first person you go to with good news, and you’ll eventually be able to finish each other’s sentences. He or she is also a great person to talk to if you need to have a difficult conversation with your manager or a direct report and want to figure out the best way to say it. In my case, my “work husband” is my actual husband, but I joke that Brian has another wife, Melissa, who is his work wife on the other side of the business.
Excerpt is from Power Your Happy: Work Hard, Play Nice, and Build Your Dream Life by Lisa Sugar. Reprinted by arrangement with DUTTON, a member of Penguin Group (USA) LLC, A Penguin Random House Company. Copyright © 2016 by Lisa Sugar
