My thoughts on Genital mutilation horror: “Some consider FGM as a religious and cultural practice. The purpose of this illegal practice is to suppress female sexuality in order to reduce sexual pleasure in women.” And...This is the extreme and outward version of how some religions (including the ones I grew up in) teach about sex. YES, I just went there.
Sex. Why is it such a taboo topic? A black and white topic for so many? I was raised in a home that was both Fundamentalist Arab and Fundamentalist Christian. Both extreme cultures didn’t dare speak about sex while I was growing up.. It was something A. Only for marriage. B. Only “good” when married. C. Not really to be enjoyed by women. D. Our duty as a woman to perform. E. Not to be discussed or explored unless you are getting married or married.
I have so much to say on this topic. But truly I’ve had an awakening in this area (as in many areas of my life) over the last few years. We are sexual beings. Just as we have our physical side, spiritual side, and so on…we also have a sexual side. The old line of thinking about sex and who our Bodies belong to (they don’t belong to anyone btw, except ourselves!) only gets people in trouble. Lack of education about sex, lack of appreciation for its enjoyment on all sides, and lack of experiences are all only ingredients to a recipe for disaster. Sex is healthy, it is of God, it is enjoyable on all sides, and it is a wonderful part of who we are and how we were created.
Rules, regulations and man’s made up philosophies about this topic are a huge part of the problems in our churches, schools and communities. Extremists on both ends have twisted one of the most wonderful parts of life into something that they can (try to) comfortably fit in a box.
As I raise my boys, I think about the extreme views they’re going to see as they grow up, the things they’ll be exposed to at a younger age than ever, and I think about how I want to help them understand sex (as I would any other topic as a parent) in the healthiest and most positive way possible. Body image for men and women has so much to do with a healthy understanding and appreciation of sex, and not a judgemental or negative viewpoint.
I did a boudoir shoot a year ago and that experience was also part of my awakening. Seeing myself in that way (after babies nonetheless) was a moving moment for me - actually, it was a truly spiritual experience. I truly thank you Kim Kimberly Cole-Williams for making that experience such a life-changing event.
A few years ago, I started at the drawing board – really analyzing what I believed and why I believed it, and as for those things I was told about sex - they’re all wrong! A. Sex isn’t only for marriage (what, you say? I’m blaspheming, backsliding, etc…no no no, ask me what I mean and I will explain!). B. “It” isn’t only good when you’re married. C. It isn’t for women to just grin and bear it – it can be so thoroughly enjoyed by women…so very much. D. It isn’t our “duty” as women to perform for the man – our body is our own, and we do have choices and freedoms, etc. E. Finally, this topic is actually essential to talk about, explore and learn about in a healthy manner way before marriage or discussion of marriage is in the picture!