A long, long time ago, back when I was growing up in Brooklyn, one of the secret pleasures of being home alone on a weekend night was the chance to watch Chiller Theater (merrily hosted by Zacherley, who was also known as the "cool ghoul"). With his wife Isobel resting serenely in her coffin, Zacherley would take turns feeding bananas and dead insects to a large blob of doughy material while interrupting each week's Grade Z thriller with snarky comments.
To watch Zacherley in action was to love him, especially when he interrupted a chase scene to inform members of the safari that the mummy or dinosaur they were so ardently chasing went "that-a-way!" Larry Blamire's 2009 film, The Lost Skeleton Returns Again, is an epic spoof of all those Grade Z thrillers from The Lost World to Valley of the Gwangi. It is so wonderfully tacky you can be sure that Zacherley would have loved it.
No cliché is left behind in this hilarious black-and-white romp, whose cheesy script focuses on a bitter, depressed scientist's search for Geranium-90 in the deepest heart of the Amazon jungle.
Blamire's film includes every bit of tacky noir pretense and primitive inanity associated with this genre: actors running around in rubber monster suits, a man-eating plant, Martians who come to rescue their Earthling friends from danger, a long-lost Amazon tribe, and a floating skull with a bad attitude that bullies inferior souls. It's all up there on the silver screen, lovingly recreated in grand and glorious style by someone who genuinely cares about such things.
What makes the film so delightful, however, is that instead of trying to camp things up and overtly mock the genre, the cast and crew have devotedly recreated the atmosphere of all those tacky thrillers and are essentially playing it straight. My favorite scene occurs when the heavily bespectacled and extremely butch female scientist (Trish Geiger) tries to teach the Queen of the Cantaloupe People the hidden powers inherent in the proper use of the double negative in English grammar.
I especially enjoyed the work of Fay Masterson (who, as Betty Armstrong, blithely traipses through the Amazon wearing a tasteful strand of pearls) and Alison Martin as Chinfa, Queen of the Cantaloupe People (her dance to the Cantaloupe Goddess is a terpsichorean treasure that must be seen to be believed).
Larry Blamire (Dr. Paul Armstrong), Dan Conroy (Jungle Brad), Brian Howe (Peter Fleming), and Jennifer Blaine (Animala) all add to the merriment. Kudos go to Jason Garner (art design), Anthony J. Rickert-Epstein (cinematography), Darrin Cummings (set decoration) and Anthony Tremblay (production design).
However, one of the most critical contributions -- which enhances the entire film far beyond what one would ever expect -- is the superbly cheeky original musical score (by John W. Morgan and William T. Stromberg) that symphonically captures every bit of the suspenseful silliness so dear to the cheaply-produced films of this genre. Trust me when I tell you that you don't need to be stoned to laugh your ass off and have a grand old time watching The Lost Skeleton Returns Again .
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If you like your death scenes to have a touch of high camp, let me recommend 2002's Mail Order Bride of Frankenstein, a 12-minute "pseudo-silent" short. Filmed entirely on location in the new-Romanesque former church now known as the McColl Center for Visual Art in Charlotte, North Carolina, Mail Order Bride of Frankenstein (the third film in M.O.B.'s Karaoke Trilogy) is meant to serve as "a chilling yet highly melodic parable on why it's generally unwise to buy love online, some assembly online."
Poster art for Mail Order Bride of Frankenstein
According to the production notes, Mail Order Brides/M.O.B., is a trio of Filipina American artists who are:
"...engaged in an ongoing collaborative investigation of culture, race, and gender. Their film/video works have screened at the San Francisco International Asian American Film Festival, the International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival, the Mix Festival and the International Film Festival in Detroit. They are committed to making the world a more delicious and harmonious place.
While, traditionally, 'real' mail order brides are thought of as ideal obedient domestics, it has not escaped this trio's attention that, acronymically speaking, 'Mail Order Brides' abbreviates down to a more sinister series of initials (M.O.B.) that inform the darker subtext of their connivings and conspirings.They have taken matters into their own well-manicured hands, using their innate graciousness, good fashion sense, and interior decorating/decorum skills to gently pry open the eyes of the closed-minded.
They have pursued this vision through a cornucopia of creative endeavors including photographic psychodramas, parade performances, public service posters, karaoke music videos, museum makeovers, and educational workshops. Their recent successful business venture, Always A Bridesmaid. Never A Bride™, has provided the world with the long-needed services of three Professional Bridesmaids™ for weddings, commitment ceremonies, and immigration-inspired marital arrangements."
Although Mel Brooks may have created a comedy legend with Young Frankenstein, it's impossible to resist a spoof of the classic Bride of Frankenstein film that:
- Promotes itself as "the world's first, best, and perhaps only Southern Gothic, neo-noir pseudo-silent karaoke horror film!"
- Is co-directed by Eliza "Neneng" Barrios, Reanne "Immaculata" Estrada, and Jenifer "Baby" Wofford.
- Features a hunchbacked Filipino-American delivery man.
- Uses such wonderful songs as 1936's "Vous Qui Passez Sans Me Voir" (sung by Jean Sablon), 1988's "I Hate Myself For Loving You" (sung by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts), and 1930's "Parlez Moi D'Amour" (sung by Lucienne Boyer).
- Features a Filipina bride of Frankenstein that could instill fear in the heart of Imelda Marcos.
- Ends with a reassuring statement that "No mail order brides or grooms were harmed during the production of this video but, alas, doughnuts were sacrificed."
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Chico's Angels: The Web Series is a delightfully cheesy spoof of the Charlie's Angels franchise starring Danny Casillas as Freida Laye, Ray Garcia as Chita Parol, and Oscar Quintero as Kay Sedia. The following four video clips contain the entire tacky story line for Chico's Angels: Gang of Chicas. Enjoy!
To read more of George Heymont go to My Cultural Landscape