POLITICS
08/17/2015 06:08 am ET | Updated Aug 17, 2015

All Is Not Well In Hillaryland

The Huffington Post

Things are getting weird when even Al Gore is thinking of getting into the Democratic presidential race, which is turning into a last hurrah for the Baby Boomers and their tad-older camp counselors.

Hillary Clinton, permanently punctilious, has done everything right: She put her HQ in Brooklyn, hired savvy digital/social/big data nerds, raised a ton of dough, gave substantive, well-thought-out speeches and flooded early primary and caucus states with organizers. She's still the default bet for the Democratic nomination: national polls show her with a fat 36 percent lead.

And yet all is not well in Hillaryland. Polls also indicate that voters now view her as untrustworthy. Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.), whose DeLorean time machine is in overdrive, is drawing colossal crowds and, according to one poll, now leads the former secretary of state in New Hampshire. Vice President Joe Biden, who had previously said “no way,” is now sounding serious about jumping in. So, we are told, is Gore, who was warning of environmental doom as far back as the ‘60s.

 What’s happening to Hillary? Here are our explanations, ranked on our First to Last Political Richter Scale: 

RANK REASON
1
PINATA FOR GOP AND FOX
Hillary was right: There IS a vast right-wing conspiracy, and it is out to get her.
2
EMAIL HANDOVER
Words like "FBI," "CIA," "classified" and "investigation" are not things you want associated with your presidential campaign.
3
NO NEW NARRATIVE
Familiarity makes it hard to create a campaign narrative when the real one is so well-known, and so complicated.
4
KREMLIN-LIKE CAMPAIGN MACHINERY
Hillary trusts only a tight circle, led by longtime aide Huma Abedin, Philippe Reines, David Kendall and a few others. Everyone else, including the “campaign manager,” is hired help. This overprotectiveness approaches on paranoia.
5
WHERE'S BILL?
What IS his role, anyway? Remember Charlotte? That was the best sales speech a Democrat had given in years. Plus, people like him, and you’re married to him!
6
OVERSEAS AND CORPORATE CONTRIBUTIONS
Guess this is why we aren’t seeing Bill Clinton.
7
'DEAD BROKE'
We know what you meant, but we are well-fed, inside-the-Beltway pundits.
8
LOOKS LIKE IT'S NOT GOING TO BE JEB
The more traction Marco Rubio gets, the more slippery Hillary’s slope becomes.
9
DEBATE SCHEDULE BACKLASH
Only insiders (and Martin O’Malley) care, but the Beltway and media crowd blames her for the measly, weekend-heavy schedule of Democratic debates.
10
ATTENDED DONALD TRUMP'S THIRD WEDDING
Something about the phrase “third wedding” should have been a warning. But, hey, a party is a party. We’re waiting for the pictures of Hill & Bill dancing to the 2005 classic “Gold Digger.”
11
TRYING A LITTLE TOO HARD TO BE ALL DIGITAL AND ZEITGEISTY
Who told her that it was cool to ask college kids to send her emoji tweets about their college debt? College kids can actually use words.
Images: Getty, Associated Press

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