Being a grandfather comes with many important responsibilities, such as making funny faces, engaging in baby talk and otherwise behaving like a child, which is pretty much how I acted even before I was a grandfather.
At the top of the list of grandfatherly duties is baby-sitting. But I never stopped to ask, because I am new at this, who is supposed to be baby-sitting whom?
I recently found out when I read "How to Babysit a Grandpa," a New York Times best-seller by children's author Jean Reagan.
The book, which features delightful illustrations by Lee Wildish, is for readers 5 to 8 years old, right in the middle of my intellectual age group.
"It's also for readers in your physical age group," Reagan told me when I called her to talk about the 32-page masterpiece. "After all, I couldn't leave out the grandpas."
"We appreciate it," I responded, "especially since we are the ones who have to be baby-sat."
My granddaughter, who was born in March, is a little too young to understand the lessons in the book (at the rate she's developing, that won't happen for another couple of weeks), but I feel better knowing that she will soon be able to look after me.
"She will love taking care of you because you sound like a lot of fun," said Reagan, who based the grandpa in the book on her father.
"My dad is a very funny guy who has always been attentive to my kids," Reagan said. "Of course, he did some things that I couldn't put in the book, like showing my son, who was then 6 or 7, how to make a slingshot. That means every grandpa whose grandchild read the book would be asked to make a slingshot. I can picture a lot of broken windows."
"I feel your pane," I offered.
Speaking of which, the book opens with a clear view through the front window of the grandchild hiding when his grandpa rings the doorbell. After he greets his grandpa, and his parents drive away, the kid says, "When your mom and dad leave, pat your grandpa's hand and say, 'Don't worry. They always come back.' Then, right away, ask him if he's hungry."
"Snacks for Grandpa" are: "ice cream topped with cookies," "olives served on fingertips," "anything dipped in ketchup" and "cookies topped with ice cream."
"After snacks," the kid continues, "it's time to take your grandpa for a walk. ... Remember to grab his hand when you cross the street and remind him to look both ways."
Other parts include "What to Do on a Walk" ("If there's a puddle or a sprinkler, show him what to do"), "How to Entertain a Grandpa" ("Somersault across the room") and "How to Play With a Grandpa" ("Give him a kazoo").
"When your grandpa says, 'Naptime,' it's time for his nap," the grandchild says. "The best way to put him to sleep is to have him read a looooooong book, over and over and over and ... zzzzzzz."
After the grandpa wakes up, it's time to clean up the messes he has made. When the parents return, the kid says, "See, Grandpa. They always come back." Then he asks, "When can I baby-sit you again?"
"I wanted to be a little subversive and put a funny twist on things, but I also wanted to include lessons for kids," said Reagan. "Most of all, I wanted them to laugh."
The book is hilarious. And Reagan is working on another one that will be out next year.
"It's for grandmas," she said. "I'm not a grandma yet, but when I am, I want to be a fun one, like you're a fun grandpa."
"I'm sure my wife will love it," I said. "But for now, as my granddaughter will soon find out, she has her hands full baby-sitting me."
Stamford Advocate columnist Jerry Zezima's new book, "The Empty Nest Chronicles," is available on Amazon. Visit his blog at www.jerryzezima.blogspot.com. Email: JerryZ111@optonline.net.
Copyright 2013 by Jerry Zezima
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.