Note: this article is the first in a 2-part series. The second article is “How to Avoid Codependency in Relationships: Master the ‘Adaptation and Change’ Cycle”.
In many ways, our minds and bodies work in a similar manner. By observing the behavior of one, we come to better understand the other. The mind and body are both highly adaptive systems.
In the arena of physical fitness, adaptation is very well known. If you continue to do the same workout routine week after week, the body adapts and then ceases to grow. Similarly, we adapt to whatever lifestyle we live. This process starts in early childhood and persists throughout life. Even as adults, we adapt to the behavior of our friends and loved ones. We conform (adapt) to a relationship dynamic that we create with our partners. Even bad habits become part of our normal and comfortable routine. In other words, we adapt and align with whatever has become familiar.
Adaptation can be a very good thing when we are adapting to healthy lifestyles. It helps us to maintain a routine that feeds and supports our growth and development as individuals. Also, every relationship requires a certain level of adaptation so that we can adjust to the behavioral patterns of our friends and loved ones.
On the other hand, adaptation is obviously undesirable when our behavioral patterns are unhealthy. However, when the behavioral patterns are healthy, we can still be at some risk. Life, situations, and people change over time. As a result, we do well to embrace the flexibility required to adapt to those changes. In fact, just as in physical fitness workout routines, change is necessary for growth provided, of course, the change is in the direction of increasing health and life-supporting activity.
Employing these principles of adaptation is subtle and not easy to apply wisely. In the case of bodybuilding, we may have the development of our physiques to gauge our progress. In that arena, the subtlety is very obvious because only a small handful of people who work out develop great physiques. In contrast, the progress in our personal lives is not as easy to gauge. Our growth as individuals can stagnate without our even being aware of it. That’s the problem with adaptation. We adapt to a lifestyle and a belief system and find it difficult to move forward. In other words, we stagnate.
If we’re not attentive, the stagnation creeps in and overtakes us. Even when we’re busy with our dynamically changing worlds, our relationships can still stagnate. We may not even be aware that it’s a problem until the situation becomes overwhelming and unbearable. We wake up one morning and realize we’re in a rut. Then, seeing that we’re unhappy, knowing we need some kind of change, we may have a tendency to ‘throw the baby out with the bathwater’. We turn our backs on our lives and look for a whole new alternative. All of the positive attributes of what we created are then left behind.
The key principle here is to continue to monitor and evaluate, and then adapt and change as necessary to make sure it’s all moving in a positive direction. In bodybuilding, there is no one workout that is right for everyone. Similarly, there is no one cookie-cutter lifestyle which works for every individual or relationship. As we progress through life, honestly working to evolve our relationship with the cycle of adaptation to change is the key to healthier, happier, and more fulfilling lives.
Michael Mamas is the founder of The Center of Rational Spirituality, a nonprofit organization dedicated to the betterment of humanity through the integration of ancient spiritual wisdom with modern rational thought. From personal issues to global trends, Michael Mamas helps individuals and organizations develop a deeper understanding and more comprehensive outlook by providing a 'bridge' between the abstract and concrete, the Eastern and Western, and the ancient and modern. Dr. Michael Mamas has been teaching for 35 years (including in the U.S., India, Europe, and Canada) and writes on a variety of subjects on his blog, MichaelMamas.net.