We tend to worry alot about our sons viewing porn.
While we tend to underestimate how soon our boys are interested, we assume it's a more urgent conversation to have with them -- because it's young males who view it most.
But as I explain in my book, 'Girls, Uninterrupted,' porn works as an insidious two-way street.
It's highly likely that by the time your daughter is ready to have relationships, she will have seen porn too.
The fact she has viewed it will mean she is more likely to do what boys ask, even if makes her uncomfortable, degraded or it is physically painful -- because she thinks that's the deal.
Yet many parents are so lost for words, they simply don't know what to say to their daughters, often leaving it too late.
It means she will already have been sucked in playing by the rules porn has created for her.
Rest assured, as you will see, there really are age-appropriate ways to talk about this.
If you still feel reluctant, think of this conversation as a way of giving your daughter a shock-absorber for life.
If you are still finding it difficult, I suggest you privately log on to any internet pornography site for just a few seconds.
Imagine viewing what pops up through the eyes of your child, as if for the first time.
Then, I think, you will find your resolve.
How to talk to your daughter about porn:
Explain that porn is not sex. Tell your daughter porn is not making love in the way that a thriller or action movie is not what happens in real life. It's like grown-ups play-acting for the camera and ignores the real purpose of intercourse, which is ideally to feel closer. Tell your girl that the happiest, most fulfilling sex, which both men and women enjoy the most, involves emotion and affection. Porn is created to make money, to shock and for the entertainment of the person watching.
Keep it simple. Explain that there are some things on the internet which are not meant for children -- in particular violence and cruelty. Even young children will understand this and want to avoid it. Tell her she will never get into trouble for showing you images that upset her.
Explain the economic realities. The fact is that porn is a money-making business. From talking to older girls who got addicted to porn, I have found that one of the most effective ways they wean themselves off was to learn more about the sex trafficking that goes on in the industry. Somehow this rational knowledge that other women are being abused in the making of this material helped them overcome the chemical lure of returning to it.
Find videos to help make your point. If you're worried your kids think it's just you being old-fashioned, out-out-touch or prudish, guide them to responsible, well-made videos that show that porn is a concern across society. Show them how it has a chemical effect on their brain which could take it out of their control. Watch them first, of course, but try short clips on YouTube like 'The Science of Pornography Addiction'.
Tanith Carey is author of 'Girls Uninterrupted: Steps for Building Stronger Girls in a Challenging World.'