As a mother of a toddler, I never imagined how many rules I would come across. Rules on bedtimes. Rules on what they should eat and when. Rules on when they should poop…..and what color the poop should look like. Rules. Rules. Rules. Parenthood today has become a war of parenting styles and I’m over it. To be completely honest, I don’t want any rules (my husband might disagree with this point) so I have gone rogue.
The day I became a mom I threw the rules out the window. Why? Who has the time to parent with all the rules? Our parents raised us without organic food….and we turned out ok, right? I don’t have time for lighthouse parenting, helicopter parenting or attachment parenting.
Does this make me a shitty mom? Maybe. But, you know what…..I’m ok with that.
I’m a shitty mom.
I’m a shitty mom because I don’t give my child a bath every night. Nope….and I don’t read bedtime stories either.
I’m a shitty mom because I sometimes use sunscreen that isn’t organic.
I’m a shitty mom because I feed my kid all the bad stuff in the world: macaroni and cheese, hot dogs, chicken tenders and pb&j.
I’m a shitty mom because I let my kid stay up way past her bedtime, just so we can play and have fun.
I’m a shitty mom because I work and someone else is raising my child.
I’m a shitty mom because I let my child watch TV. Not just a little TV, but a lot. I let her watch so I can write blog posts, post pics to Instagram and cook dinner once in a while. Didn’t you ever hear the words, “go play?”. Kids are very resourceful and adaptable, if you give them the chance. We don’t have to do everything with our kids. Kids need their independent time, just as mom’s do. TV helps me get dinner made, laundry completed and maybe a quiet shower by myself, thanks to Mickey Mouse. I love TV, why shouldn’t she.
Have we had fast food on nights where I am so tired, not even coffee will help? You betcha. Just give me the shitty mom award now!
I admit I’m a shitty mom. But, you know what; I love my child more than anything and I try to always give her the best. Sure, I feed her organic most of the time, monitor the TV watching usually and spray the organic sunscreen most times. But that doesn’t equate to being a good mom. I’m a good mom because I show my daughter love, play with her, laugh until I pee my pants and provide her with the warmth my parents provided to me. My parents weren’t great parents because they followed all the parenting rules. I am sure they made things up as they went, flew by the seat of their pants. Shit, I think I was brought home laying on the front seat in-between my parents?
So, I guess you can say I’m doing better than my parents did. That has to count for something! Look, I am a good mom, 90% of the time, but that other 10% gets me, and that’s ok. The world isn’t going to end; my child won’t end up in therapy in her adult life or the slammer because I didn’t feed her organic food.
I know we all hate excuses, but I am using this one. I can’t be 100% perfect all the time and I equate this too being a working mom. I’m married to a helpful husband, but the truth is the brunt of the work falls on me. So, to give myself a break and to make it through the work week, I am a little bit shitty. My child doesn’t notice. She loves McDonalds and enjoys her Mickey Mouse Playhouse just as much as I love my Real Housewives.
She doesn’t judge me. She loves me. So, I guess I may be a shitty mom in my mind, but in my daughters mind I am the best mom in the whole world. And that is what truly matters.
So, when you are being hard on yourself and think that you’re a shitty mom, take a step back and give yourself permission to be shitty sometimes. Be kind to YOUR self.