As you are discovering your identity, make note of character traits in others that are not in agreement with what you are trying to establish as your identity. Be aware that if you do not know who you want to be, then others can make you into who they want you to be. You will be vulnerable to the manipulation of others – a puppet.
“You shouldn’t wear your hair like that!”
“This is the big city, Country Girl. Everybody don’t speak to each other like that. You ain’t in the country anymore.”
“You weren’t here, but I knew it would be okay to come in your room and play your radio.”
“Let me have that, you don’t need it. You got a lot of them.”
These are not things that a person who honors and respects you would do or say to you.
If you do not know who you are, you will be subjected to being psychologically pulled in different directions away from your personal and career goals by people. These people do not have your best interests at heart. Some will want to control you, not for your benefit but for theirs.
This will affect your happiness and self-worth, because you will begin to feel like what matters to you is not important, or you will lose sight of what matters to you and what you want. You will become overwhelmed with what others want and their happiness. This is a hindrance to you discovering your identity.
You do not want to establish this type of pattern for yourself through your college career and beyond.
Respect means that you value someone, consider them, which includes their space and property. It does not mean that you place them above your own worth. It does not mean that you should accept harsh treatment from others, which includes violation of personal space and name calling.
By knowing exactly what honoring and respecting people is, you will also know the boundaries associated with it and recognize when you are not being honored and respected. So begin by knowing what it means to honor and respect people the right way and discover the boundaries associated with this concept to protect your well-being.
Being a college athlete, you already have many things that demand your attention. It is important for you to discover your identity so that you will not be a puppet for others.
I encourage you to find your identity by learning the boundaries and what exactly it means to honor and respect people. Apply that meaning to gauge how people are treating you, and monitor those who try to distort the true meaning of honoring and respecting people.
How do you know when people are not honoring and respecting you? Let me know how you gauge at geralinelhandsome.com. Like me at https://www.facebook.com/geralinelhandsome/
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