Why is that sometimes you wind up working really hard for what you don't want -- instead of what you do want? According to Dr. Phil, it's because you're either doing what others expect of you, or you don't even know what you really want.
So how do you figure out what you want, and then live a life that's authentic and true to you?
"The reason people don't get there is because they don't even know how to ask themselves the questions to figure out what they do want," says Dr. Phil, who has partnered with AARP and Life Reimagined to offer an interactive course guiding people to reflect, evaluate their priorities, and take action to live their best lives.
Dianne, who recently uprooted her family and moved across the country, tells Dr. Phil: "I always felt like I was existing and never really living ... I definitely feel like something has been missing in my life for all these years." But her move to California didn't solve the problem. "I still feel unfulfilled," she admits. "I'm in the same rut ... I don't feel that I'm being fully true to myself for what I want and pursuing what makes me happy."
She describes herself as a small-town girl who wasn't a risk-taker, so she ended up working as a secretary instead of chasing her dreams of seeing the world. "I was very good at it but I just hate it," says Dianne, 52. "I've lived a life where everyone else has told me what to do."
Dr. Phil asks Dianne, "How do you know what you want? How do you know if you're doing the right thing or the wrong thing?"
"Sometimes I don't," responds Dianne, who trained to be a flight attendant, only to discover that having no fresh air in tight quarters was not right for her.
"Are you worried about role modeling for your son?" Dr. Phil asks.
"Yes that's a huge factor in my life," Dianne says. "I want him to see that I keep trying to do what I want to do and pursue different avenues to figure out what I like so he knows it's OK to try."
Although Dianne has been divorced for eight years, she still lives with her ex and their teenage son, and she now works part-time as a waitress while pursuing a real estate license.
"The reason I've got a problem with you living with your ex is because you're in a comfort zone," explains Dr. Phil, pointing out that she's holding herself back from pursuing a new relationship.
"Totally," she responds.
Dr. Phil asked Dianne to take The Turtle Test, one of the exercises on the Life Reimagined website that helps evaluate if you seize new opportunities to learn, or if you experience "turtle behavior" and pull back into your shell.
"I don't care how old you are or are not, it is never too late to recreate a new life," says Dr. Phil. "Because what I'm going to do is walk you through this. We're going to deal with things like the 10 defining moments in your life, 7 critical choices that you've made in your life, 5 pivotal people in your life, and then we're going to talk about how to write a script that lets you star in your own life. Because if you don't, who is?"
Are you living a life that has been assigned to you or a life that you have chosen? Are you ready to take control of your life using Dr. Phil's clear-cut no-nonsense guidance? If you're ready to become the best version of yourself, start your personal journey here.
