'Help! He's More Into Sports Than He's Into Me'

Differences in hobbies/interests can wreak havoc on a relationship. In fact, it is one of the top 10 reasons couples see me for counseling. So often I hear complaints such as: "He's more into his sports than he's into me" or "I'm tired of competing with his sports watching." The good news: it's fixable.
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

Ladies, just one more game and you will have made it through yet another season of football, hopefully unscathed and your relationship still intact. The sad reality is that simple lifestyle issues and differences in hobbies/interests can wreak havoc on a relationship. In fact, it is one of the top 10 reasons couples see me for counseling. So often I hear complaints such as: "He's more into his sports than he's into me" or "I'm tired of competing with his sports watching." The good news: it's fixable.

Here's how to handle his love affair with sports:

Does he know how you feel?
Women often withdraw from their partners and this can be misinterpreted. Often people assume their partner knows how they feel. He isn't a mind reader so if you haven't expressed your feelings, then do so. Speak in a positive way. For example, you might say: "I really cherish our time together and want to discuss with you ways for us to find a balance between our personal interests and those as a couple."

Have a discussion with him about what is an appropriate amount of time to spend watching sports.
He has his definition and you have yours. It isn't fair for him to part with his hobby just as you shouldn't part with yours. What is needed, though, is a compromise. Find a happy medium.

Appreciate the fact that he feels passionate about something.
Trust me, many guys are boring and have no interests outside their careers. So look on the bright side that he is actually capable of having balance between work and play - now it's just a matter of finding balance between play and you.

Designate a time to participate in your respective hobbies.
For example, if he watches football on Sunday afternoons then that's a good time for you to do things with your friends or participate in one of your favorite activities. If you're working on your own projects at home you might wish to join him for the half-time show.

It's crucial that you spend time together so plan a date night.
This should be a day when neither of you has other commitments. Have this plan in place so you can look forward to it.

Consider attending a live game as it can be far more exciting than watching one on television. It might help to give you a new appreciation for the sport.

For more tips on healthy relationships check out my book BE FEARLESS: Change Your Life in 28 Days.

Popular in the Community

Close

HuffPost Shopping’s Best Finds

MORE IN LIFE