There is a virus spreading across the United States of America, and no one is safe, no matter how rich or how famous they are.
The virus doesn't kill you. It doesn't even make you sick. It does something much worse: It causes young children to erupt in laughter all around you after someone inexplicably points at your shoes and screams, "WHAT ARE THOSE?!?!"
It doesn't make sense. But then again, nothing does. This is 2015, and a meme is spreading like wildfire. No one can stop it, not even Michael Jordan. Yes, the 52-year-old G.O.A.T. has fallen prey to the meme that has devastated so much of the wider United States in recent weeks. What's worse, he was ambushed by a child at his very own Flight School camp.
The kid, of course, had only one question.
The "What are those?!?!" meme is a sort of litmus test for whether you are young and hip or old and like me. Anyone who falls victim to it will immediately become understandably panicked. Jordan, a man who knows a thing or two about pressure, responded admirably, reportedly asking someone what the hell the kid was talking about and then pushing back. But by then, the damage had already been done. There was little he could do.
"What are those?" Jordan eventually responds. "These are 29 Lows."
If you're of a certain age, you're probably reading this right now and are like, "What are you talking about? What is going on?" Let me direct you to the ultimate authority on such Internet-related matters: UrbanDictionary.com. According to the esteemed website, the meme has been around since at least 2011, when this definition was posted:
This is what you say/scream when you see someone wearing shoes or other footwear that are dirty and/or non-brand unknown. You should also point your finger in the air then while saying, "What are those?!" Make your way down to the person shoes, all while their back is turned.
But the meme has obtained newfound popularity in recent months, since a genius by the name of Brandon Moore subjected an unknowing police officer to the "What are those!?!?" virus. The police officer appeared understandably baffled, and the virus began to spread.
No one was safe: not teachers, not students, not the woman sitting next to Forest Gump, not even Arthur.
Poor Michael Jordan. Poor Arthur. They never even knew what hit them. And you know what's really scary? There's no telling who will be next.
H/T Deadspin
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