President Trump and I officially ended our “working” vacations last Sunday. Both were late summer respites that proved we share, sadly, a common trait: The ability to show ignorance for events the rest of the country, indeed the world, is watching closely.
In Trump’s case, it was the horrifying scenes in Charlottesville, Va. One can only hope a dossier, entitled “Charlottesville: You REALLY need to read this!” was on his desk when he entered the newly-redecorated Oval Office Monday morning. Judging from his comments at his Phoenix rally Tuesday evening he, at best, skimmed it.
Unlike Trump, I paused my August period of R&R to devour as much information as possible on white supremacy, neo-Nazis, the KKK, Heather Heyer and the like, the better to educate myself on the current feelings that cloud our great country. However, two other occurrences — one lasting a few minutes and the other the entire summer — earned a hearty yawn from me, despite uncontained excitement from seemingly everyone in my midst:
1. The solar eclipse
2. Game of Thrones
I still don’t understand the brouhaha that accompanied the total eclipse, a lunar phenomenon not seen (Wait, nobody saw it. You’re not supposed to look at an eclipse, right?) since 1979. My preparation for this spectacle consisted of reminding myself I shouldn’t freak out if it was noticeably darker and cooler when I exited my health club following my 1 p.m. exercise class on Aug. 21.
Meanwhile, friends on social media were frantically searching for eclipse glasses, live streaming their drives to vacant fields in previously unheard-of towns (PARTY IN HOPKINSVILLE, KENTUCKY!) and paying exorbitant fares for window seats on flights to wherever. My wife even made me Google “Can dogs watch the eclipse?” fearful our Cockapoo would somehow suffer permanent retinal damage while doing her afternoon business. The internet reminded me that house pets don’t make a habit of staring at the sun, even on non-eclipse days. However, I was directed to a list of “reputable vendors” hawking protective eyewear for dogs. And cats.
Eclipse-watchers in my hometown of Chicago were sorely disappointed; afternoon cloud cover made the day seem more worthy of an umbrella as opposed to sunglasses.
Then there was the re-emergence of the television juggernaut, Game of Thrones, now in its seventh season. Devotees of this show should be grateful the solar eclipse did not occur on a Sunday evening at 9 p.m. Eastern time, for they would have experienced a dilemma of extraterrestrial proportions.
While renewing our cable subscription, my wife negotiated a free month of HBO, so I had a chance to see what the fuss was all about. Of course, binge watching “GoT” would mean setting aside 66 hours of my vacation. Trump doesn’t even watch that much Fox and Friends.
Several years ago, a “GoT”-addicted relative presented me, for Christmas, with Season 1 on DVD. I popped the first disc into my Blu-ray player, settled back … and was thoroughly lost after 15 minutes. Characters whose names I could barely pronounce, much less remember, drifted in and out. Wikipedia, my go-to guide for all things confusing, was no help, describing a single scene as follows: “Winterfell receives the royal court, including King Robert Baratheon; his wife Queen Cersei; their three children: the heir Prince Joffrey, Princess Myrcella and the youngest Prince Tommen; as well as Cersei’s twin brother, Jaime Lannister, a member of the Kingsguard; and their younger brother, Tyrion Lannister, a dwarf known as ‘The Imp.’”
Remind me again. Who’s Winterfell?
I gave up after three episodes, most of which consisted of me staring blankly at the screen and silently thinking, “What’s the costume budget on this show?” Meanwhile, my Twitter and Facebook feeds are currently filled with references to “zombie dragons,” “white walkers” and strange happenings at Eastwatch-by-the-Sea. Occasionally, I’ll join the conversation, always typing the identical retort: “Haven’t seen it. But I recorded it.” It’s a baldfaced, easily refutable lie.
Maybe our President and I share two common traits.