I thought that might keep Neil Diamond from loving me.
But thought braces were the bigger barrier.
My friend and I spent days drawing pictures of him.
I traced mine because I suck at art.
We copied the lyrics of his songs and sent them to him.
You know, just in case he didn't have them.
When he came to town my Dad took my sister, my friend and I to the concert.
My Dad was the Chief of Police in Hampton VA.
The town where Hidden Figures takes place.
Brilliant black women around me were sending men into space.
I was spacing out over Neil Diamond.
After the concert Dad took us backstage.
If I spoke he might have seen my braces.
Dad and Neil both grew up in Brooklyn.
Years later my Dad would hear a song and say "Hey, is that the kid from Brooklyn?"
I went to see Neil again.
Hadn't seen him since I was 13.
Unless you count the time my co host Jillian Barberie and I stalked him.
Jill and I were at a restaurant. He was across the room. We watched him. We held up silverware to see his reflection.
One more Red, Red Wine and we would have sat in his lap.
Sitting in the car on the way to the concert I called my sister.
She remembered he had a fever that night decades ago. Yet, you know, he still took the time to entertain a local cop and 3 loco girls.
My Mom says when I was a kid I wanted to meet everyone in the world.
I only remember wanting to meet Neil.
She also tells me I briefly wanted to be a nun. Must have been before I realized they wore long skirts. And made girls who wore short skirts kneel in frozen peas.
Back then my parents also took us to Charlottesville VA.
To visit Monticello, the home of Thomas Jefferson.
I remember I was wearing a short (the nuns would not approve) pink coat.
I remember learning that Thomas Jefferson wrote The Declaration of Independence.
All men are created equal.
As I grew up I gave up the idea of meeting all men and women (and that nutty notion of being a nun).
But I do wish life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for all.
Except for certain people, when I'm being judgmental.
I finally realized I hate some of his songs.
Like that Song Sung Barf.
He closed the show with "America".
Never liked that one either.
But after a day of seeing Neo-Nazis near the home of Thomas Jefferson I was happy to hear Neil sing...
I hope today we are still trying to form that more perfect union.
And I hope someday Neil can see how straight my teeth are.
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