Parenting
1. Pay attention to them
When they talk, make sure that you give them your full attention whenever possible. Preteens and teenagers generally feel so easily agitated and annoyed when their parents don't listen to them when they speak. Many times teenagers chatter and fill up silence with empty words, nonsense, and unimportant conversation. However, it's important to differentiate when something is truly important that your child is trying to tell you, as opposed to when it's silence filler. You should let your child vent to you when needed. Be appreciative that they come to you, and if anything, you should welcome them coming to you. You should pay attention to the signs that your child is trying to get your attention, and listen to them whenever possible. If you disagree with what they might tell you, try and listen and give them the benefit of the doubt that what they're saying might not be what you assume. It's important to hear them out, and treat them as the growing adult that they're turning into.
2. Give them independence
Give them a certain amount of independence. The less independence that you give to your child, the longer it will take, and the harder it will be for them to become their own person and be independent in the long run. Teenagers like freedom, so as you see that they're able to handle a certain amount of it, use your judgment, and despite how hard it might be for you as the parent, give them a little bit of trust and freedom to do things that they want.
3. Freedom of self-expression
Let your child express themselves freely within reason. If they want to dress a certain way or do their hair a certain way, let them be free to explore who they are, and how they want to portray themselves. As long as they're not hurting anyone, it shouldn't be a big issue. This truly depends on how strict a parent is, but I don't agree with children changing the colour of their hair and what not when they're young. Having said that, when it really comes down to it, and you see that it's truly important for your child to do something of the sort, it's important for your child to be free to some extent and make certain decisions for themselves as they grow into adults. This is a tricky one, as many adults, including myself would likely prefer for their child to leave their hair natural, and the way that God made it. However, you have to pick and choose your battles, and that includes when it comes to raising your child in a happy, calm, and loving environment.
4. Give them privacy
Give them a certain amount of privacy. Teenagers are going through many changes with their emotions and with their bodies as well. They need a certain amount of privacy as they grow into more mature adults physically, emotionally, and mentally. As children grow up and go through many changes, they desire a certain amount of privacy. This includes private conversations with their friends, things pertaining to their personal belongings, and privacy in the aspect of their bodies changing. It's important to give a certain amount of respect to your child, just as you hope that they'll give back to you as their parents.
5. Set limits and boundaries
Teenagers tend to push buttons and test your limits to see how far they can get with you. For some reason, many times they like to see how much they can get away with without you exploding, yelling at them, or totally losing your mind. It's important to remain calm, not yell, scream, or react to them when they test your limits. Try to stay calm and discipline them to the best that you can. If needed, you should take away certain things that are important to them until they act more respectfully. Rules and discipline are essential in raising teenagers, and more so, when you're hoping for them to turn into bright, responsible, respectful, successful, and loving adults.
6. Give them options
Kids get bored easily, and teenagers, well, they get bored just the same. If you want to prevent them from getting into trouble or doings things that you might not approve of suggest a few things to them that they would like, and that would keep them busy. These suggestions should be given in 3's. Give them a few options to choose from, and not just one suggestion. They like to feel as though they're the one's running the show, even if you are. Try to make the options that you give them something that they can grow and learn from. Preferably some type of activity that will provide substance, and a learning experience.
Parenting
Parenting
Parenting