Remember that annoying yet lovable romance between a flirty, shoe-obsessed New York columnist and the sexy, commitment-phobic man she just couldn’t seem to let go of? It’s hard to forget how frustrating and satisfying Carrie Bradshaw’s relationship with Mr. Big was on the iconic show, Sex and The City. I mean, it’s a classic love story, right? Boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, girl asks if she’s “The One,” boy can’t commit, boy and girl break up, boy dates girl again, boy still can’t commit, boy gets married to someone else, girl meets Aidan, boy and girl cheat together, boy gets divorced, girl meets a sexy Russian, girl moves with Russian to Paris, boy goes to Paris, and boy and girl finally wind up together...
We’ve all been there, right?!
Ok, so maybe not, but here’s what many of us, including our lovely bachelorette Rachel, do have in common: we’ve been played by a jerk before at some point in our dating lives. Enter week 2 of this season of The Bachelorette!
If you watched last week’s episode of The Bachelorette, you’ve already seen the amazingness that is “wahboom” (i.e. the guy who loves to yell this catchphrase as long and often as possible), the penguin guy (can we please set him up with the dolphin-shark girl on next season’s Bachelor in Paradise?!), and the guy with the doll of himself (the doll only speaks French, and it’s kind of hauntingly beautiful...?).
As if it couldn’t get any better, week two’s episode last night included an obstacle course overseen by Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis and a basketball game with special guest Kareem Abdul-Jabbar! ABC is truly going all out this season. And guys, Rachel is the best. I mean, she’s beautiful, intelligent, funny, athletic, kind, and lovable. She’s maybe my favorite bachelorette we’ve had so far!
So sounds like everything is going great, right? Right....? Oh, come on, you know better than that! What’s a season of The Bachelor franchise without a little (ok a lot of) drama?! So, after the basketball game on last night’s episode, DeMario, a handsome and confident contestant this season, has a surprise visit from his ex (or current?) girlfriend. Lexie, as we later learn is the ex-girlfriend’s name, first approaches Rachel as she’s sitting post-game on the bleachers. Lexie then tells Rachel that she and DeMario were dating when he left for the show, they never broke up, and that he even still has keys to her apartment. From there, Rachel was quick to act. She called DeMario into the gym, and after he made a few lame excuses, she said to him, “I believe you want to be here, but I don’t think you’re here for me...I’m really gonna need you to get the f*ck out.”
As I watched the Rachel and DeMario debacle unfold, I couldn’t help but think back on Big and Carrie’s relationship. Carrie, too, was faced with a guy who couldn’t commit to her. He constantly let her down and hurt her until she finally won him over. But it could have gone the other way, too, and it was a painful couple of years watching Carrie’s heart get broken again and again by Mr. Big. Rachel, on the other hand, let DeMario go as soon as she found out he wasn’t there for the right reasons. Did it hurt her? Obviously. Was she upset and humiliated and a little fearful that maybe all the guys actually had secret girlfriends, too? Yes. But in the long run, will she be better off with one of the guys who’s really there “for the right reasons” rather than with DeMario? Absolutely. Rachel did the right thing. She didn’t let herself fall for the wrong guy. She didn’t get sucked into his lies and charm, and she stopped him from hurting her anymore than he already had. She got out, and in the end, she’s better off having let him go. And Carrie? Maybe she would have been better off sooner off letting Big go, too.
At the end of last night’s episode of The Bachelorette, Rachel said, “As I leave here tonight, I’m riding on a high. I have such potential with this great group of men.” And you know what? What she said made me more excited to watch this season than anything else. Unlike so many of us at so many different times in our lives, Rachel did not let herself get sucked in deeper by the wrong guy. She is moving forward with a positive attitude, ready to find the right guy. “I don’t want to be played,” Rachel told the guys later at the rose ceremony, “I’m keeping it 100”.
Rachel, on behalf of so many of us, thank you for not settling for the wrong person. You’ve shown us that we all deserve better and that you are here to find someone truly worthy of being your husband. I can honestly say I am very hopeful and confident you will do just that this season! Best of luck to the new bachelorette, it should be an exciting and fulfilling journey!